Matzav Inbox: What Is Going On With These Weddings?

This is why I keep talking about individuality because as much as we like to conform to norms when is there a line in the sand that says “my self respect is more important then fitting in”
In a socioty that doesn’t respect you for being an individual are they your true friends? I think not. If you cannot be yourself in literally every conversation because it’s always a damn competition. Doesn’t that point to a socioty that is somewhat corrupted by materialism. When I was young it was a select few whod look down their nose at you if you didn’t measure up now it’s a plague and has seeped into every part of our socioty. Where is God in all this. Where is morality.
Morals dictate honesty with yourself and your circumstances. Taking a good look in the mirror and saying. Look I don’t have therefore I will _have_ to make do. And yet that will make me stronger in the end. Why? Because your not living in delusonal thinking anymore your living in reality.
How long is socioty going to destroy our humanity? For everyone and forever?
When nachshon ben aminadav stood in front of the ocean and God said to go into the ocean, the rouring waves seemed impossible and they had an entire army behind them that was about to kill them and yet he took a deep breathe and went into the ocean and the impossiblity of the situation was so strong, yet he went in up to his neck, and suddenly the oeceon split.
If he had tremendous faith and courage to do what needed to do despite all the _crazy_ odds. (They were crazy odds) So can you.
When you are ready to step into the ocean of “personal life circumstances of impossiblity” and willing to have the strength to live within your means, and despite the army behind you of people who degrade humiliate and villify you for stupid things, you will suddenly see the ocean split like a miracle and life itself will free you and make a way for you to cross the oceon of impossiblity and you will be free from Egypt of abnormal material control.
Let yourself be a man of God. not a cowardly man of socioties whims where people lose their souls dignity and morality in the process of fitting in.

So then stay stuck and blame everybody else but your own ability to choose.
If I put you in a place where you can cross the street and instead of crossing the street your looking at the other guy who isn’t crossing the street at the same time blaming him that because he’s not crossing the street you cant cross the street.
Delusonal much?

Chaim _you_ choose your life.
Your letting socioty dictate what you choose.
I know countless of people that choose to live outside the box and their incredible happy and oh their wedding have much much more joy because it’s authentic. So stay stuck. And miserable. Noone cares at this point

@Always_Ask_Questions,
move gradually in the opposite direction
Thats exactly my point. Sure I should move gradualy towards that goal. But thew more the rich move the needle the other way the more that gradual moves becomes harder.

@nevuah G-d doesn’t want to to do whats normal. This isn’t a faith thing. Yes to a certain point society needs to dictate. I disagree with your idea of ignoring whats around you. i don’t think that whats hahsem wants.

You all miss the point and i feel like I am talking to a wall. We should perhaps have a conversation about mussar and what the middle class can do. But the main conversation is the rich. I don’t go for this answer oh lets work on oursleves and all is fine. Unless the rich stop you’ll never really change much.

Chaim everything is faith based. Lol. It doesn’t matter what your doing you need faith. Especially when your in a situation of extreme conformity and control you need superhuman straighth to _be yourself_ despite the naysayers. That takes tremendous faith. If you want to call it faith in yourself. faith in your conviction. Or just faith in God. You can call it that. But you need faith to do what is right.
The collective has alot of control.
Imagine you lived in a collective society of idolitry, like Abraham avinu, and you decided its bs, you think Abraham wasn’t scared when he broke the idols….his father’s anger I’m sure made him afraid but he was driven by conviction and understood what is right. He also stood in opposition to everything those times stood for.
What about noach who built the tevah for 300 years. He was fighting against a degenerate socioty that laughed at him but he had faith in his conviction and faith in the truth.
Doing what is right is never going to be easy. Especially when the collective asks us to drive ourselves insane to conform.
It’s like a very domineering employer who has absolute control….now imagine multitudes and multides of those domineering people. There is fear there. Tremendous fear. But the opposite of fear is faith. That is the anecdote

chaim
>> move gradually in the opposite direction
> Thats exactly my point. Sure I should move gradualy towards that goal. But thew more the rich move the needle the other way the more that gradual moves becomes harder.

another thing – I am trying to attend less-popular and modest simchas and skip the rich ones that everyone attends. This does not require a big public statement and you can talk about with your friends and gradually more people will do the same.