Messing up Shidduchim?

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    I know this sounds a little funny, but I have heard that the Satan can get involved with shidduchim. Is this true and what exactly does that mean?


    I myself have never heard that, which doesn’t mean that it isn’t true just that I haven’t heard it, but I can tell you that friends and family CAN mess up shidduchim whether they intend to on a conscious level or not. Shiduchim do best when they are conducted as quietly as possible. It is best NOT to speak to your friends about your dates, it is best to discuss your dates with as little people as possible because they can offer the wrong kind of advice. It is better to have one or two people you can trust such as parents, a Rav, a mashpia, a dating coach, that is non-biased and not looking for what THEY want or what THEY think you need. It is best to find support who has is a good listener and a good sounding board and who can allow YOU to make your own decisions instead of telling you what THEY think YOU should do.


    Maybe it means the Satan acts through people who give information. I’ve heard countless stories where shidduchim were broken because of bad (and many times false) information received.


    maybe like always its called “ayin horah”

    jewish source

    The Gemara says Les Bay Kesuba Delo Romei Bei TIGRA

    there is no kesuba without A Fight

    some people keep this as a Minhag


    “some people keep this as a Minhag”

    While some believe it is one of the taryag mitzvos, so they make sure to incite an argument whenever possible.


    In American society, people who don’t “demand” are seen as “weak,” and “weak” is bad. So, in order to prove our worth, we have to have “high standards” and demand “only the very best.” This is a great way to start fights, mess up your kids’ shidduchim and give yourself high blood-pressure.

    If your boy isn’t Moshe Rabbeinu or your daughter isn’t a combination of Bruria and a movie star, maybe you could go with “good enough.” I’ve heard of shidduchim being broken over the most trivial gashmius.


    The Sefer Chassidim (Rabi Yehudah Hachasid,early 13th century)has examples of the Satan involving himself in shidduchim.

    not I

    Jewish source: I was told by someone that they have a minhag to do what the other side wants. period. i think they told it over in R’ Elyashivs name!



    One day RCV announced mazal tov, the shidduch went through. Asked how he knew and for an explanation, he said the Mishanh says:????? ???????? ??????? ??????, ????? ????????? ????? ???????? ??????? ????????? , he said he subdued his entirely to Hashems in regards to the shidduch, and hasham didd likewise to the mothers… They did get married

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