Midaber Ivrit???

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    I was translating an email from hebrew to english and it was signed “moshe v’shevi” so google translated it to “moshe in captivity”

    me too

    I just tried it and this is what I got from Google

    ??? ????

    Moses captured

    ??? ????

    Did you mean: ??? ????


    A sign in Yerushalayim pointing to a ramp for the handicapped reads ???? ?????. Underneath that is the translation “Beyond Disabled”.


    The box our hand matzas came in this year was full of good “bad translator” stories. Too bad it’s gone now.


    Itchesrulik- we must have had the same company because the box we got was full of mistakes! It also contained many english mistakes and typos.

    Shticky Guy

    A recently arrived bachur in our dorm told us he was very impressed how many makolets (grocery stores) there were. He said there’s virtually one every few corners, and there are even signs pointing to them, something I had not noticed. When we were out walking he pointed one out to me. It was a sign that said miklat !!




    >And of course the classic: “ani lo tachas omed”

    That took me a LONG time to work out

    took me even longer. 😉

    not until i tried translating it out loud did i “understand”

    i love coffe

    i still dont get what “ani lo tachas omed” means…


    Mod 80-“tactless Israeli’s- let’s hear them speak Enlish”

    “so whats the big deal i cant speak Enlish either.

    what is that anyway? some elfish dialect from the hobbit or something?”

    According to Webster’s Enlish dictionary it is a language that originated in Enland, spoken by the Enlish(named after their language) Do not feel bad if you are not fluent in Enlish. Rosetta Stone offers a course. A little practice and you’ll sound like a native.

    BTW what’s a hobbit?


    BP girl: “Those matza baked with closed supervision by God-fearing whole?” Mine said something like that.

    coffe: tachat-under,omed-stand.


    i was laughing so hard at the tachas omed that i could’nt even tell it to my husband, i had to write it out.


    BSD: a hobbit is from hobbiton 🙂


    i guess you’ve never seen a hobbit – they’re pretty good about being quiet and staying away from people. at least, i presume you knew what an elf is (though they can walk even quieter than hobbits, if i remember correctly).


    i love coffee – read what i wrote again. keep reading it until you UNDERSTAND what i wrote.


    i’ve been living in Israel for 1.5 yrs and still dont speak Hebrew. I feel like, why bother, they understand me just fine.

    m in Israel

    DRB — I don’t want to get serious on a light thread, but. . .

    Do you plan on living here long term, or are you just here for a few years? If it’s a short term deal, I agree with you. Or if you are retired and don’t have young children.

    If not, it is probably well worth your effort to try to develop a functional Hebrew. It will make many aspects of your life easier, help with job opportunities, and certainly make a big difference if you have kids here and need to deal with the school system. If you don’t speak the language, you are making it much more likely for your kids to always be “outsiders”. I have met a number of people who made Aliyah many years ago who say they strongly regret not having put more effort into developing their Hebrew when they first arrived.

    Shticky Guy

    Tachat omed is a classic. I did have to read it 5 times before I understood it!

    Some words are literal and easy. The first time I heard the words ???? ??? I knew exactly what they were.

    Lets have some fun. What do posters think the following sentences mean? (excuse the spelling):

    ?? ?? ?????? ?????.1. ?

    ???? ????? ???? ?????.2. ?

    ??? ?? ?? ????? ????.3. ?

    ??? ???? ??????? ????.4. ?

    ?? ?? ?? ???? ?????.5. ?

    ?? ??? ???? ?????.6. ?

    ??? ???? ???? ???? ?????.7. ?

    ?? ???? ????? ???? ???? ?????.8. ?


    This was a RIOT!

    I was reading a list in Hebrew of ‘segulot’ for different things (i.e. parnassa, shidduchim, etc.) and though I understood 99% of it, I thought it would be fun to see how Google translated some of what was in there.

    They translated ‘segula l’ben’ as “for a purple son”.


    Choc- I shoulda known:)


    i was on the bus and a lady had bags in the under compartment and said to the driver “nahag ata yachol leftoch li et ha tachat “

    she screamed it out 2x


    I was at home depot with my father (who has a very heavy israeli accent) when i was little and he wanted to buy a shower head. he stoped a worker there and asked “excuse me do you hav a tush” the man said a what? my dad said (with hand motions) “tush tush”

    i corrected him and saved the day


    My own, then.

    Me to my (native Israeli) wife: “??? ?????? ???, ???? ??? ?? ????? ????”

    = “At my parents’ house, I always had a diaper.”

    I meant cat (????), not diaper (?????). I almost had to carry my wife home after that…. she couldn’t stop laughing for an hour or so.


    ?? ??? ???? ?????.

    this is the only one I figured out: Whats the head lines today.


    Daniel Breslauer…

    Perhaps you (or others) know this already, but there actually is a reason that the word cat (chatul) and diaper (cheetul) are so similar.

    We obviously know what a diaper (pamper) is designed to do, i.e. to absorb _ _ _ _. For those familiar with cats, you know that cats (unlike dogs, for example) go in a litter box, and outdoors, out in nature, they go somewhere where their waste will be absorbed and/or they cover it up with dirt. This similarity in the natural behavior of cats, and the purpose of a diaper, is the reason why a cheetul is called a cheetul (or at least so I was told by an Ivrit expert i know.)


    BSD: Try the book. Unsurprisingly called ‘The Hobbit’.

    Shticky, I worked these ones out:

    1. Butter-fingers

    2. Head-quarters

    5 hallmark

    6 headlines

    what are the others?

    Shticky Guy

    DZ Correct! Well done.

    Come on guys lets figure out some of the other ones. I spent time working on them! Some are hard, some are easy eg the first one is simple. Have a guess!


    Shticky-?? ?? ?????? ???? .=He has fat fingers

    ???? ????? ???? ???? Where is your forehead

    ??? ?? ?? ????? ???Do you have a milk shake


    whome-I had a different version of that lady on the bus story but the mods wouldn’t let it through. I guess your version was more tolerable. I’ll bet the mods laughed harder at my version though.

    How many newly arrived bucherim came to Israel thinking that a bathroom is called a bais hakisai? 🙂

    I did.


    Therre are so many Israelis in Brooklyn that there is no excuse for not knowing at least *some* Hebrew if you live there.

    Shticky Guy

    BSD Thanx for your suggestions. The final one, milk shake, is correct. The other attempts are a little shaky…

    Shticky Guy

    Chocandpatience: So sorry I didnt see your post. You’re very good. Yes you are exactly correct.

    So come on guys. Follow the twisted logic and work out the four remaining ones which are 3, 4, 7 and 8


    “How many newly arrived bucherim came to Israel thinking that a bathroom is called a bais hakisai?”


    choc-Great story-I thought only guys call it a bais haKisai because that is the gemara lushon.

    I know s/o who ran into a shul in desperation and asked someone eifo habeis hakisai- some one brought him a chair.

    Shticky Guy

    OK Everyone’s too busy to guess my phrazes or maybe they’re too hard. Here are the answers…


    Lets have some fun. What do posters think the following sentences mean? (excuse the spelling):

    ?? ?? ?????? ????? 1. ?

    He has butter fingers

    ???? ????? ???? ????? 2. ?

    Where is your Headquarters

    ??? ?? ?? ????? ???? 3. ?

    Do you have a milkshake

    ??? ???? ??????? ???? 4. ?

    I am making a boycott

    ?? ?? ?? ???? ????? 5. ?

    This has a Hallmark

    ?? ??? ???? ????? 6. ?

    What are the headlines today

    ??? ???? ???? ???? ????? 7.

    I have to inform you

    ?? ???? ????? ???? ???? ????? 8. ?

    This is the minimum that I can take

    am yisrael chai

    ??? ???? ???? ???? ????? 7.

    I have to inform you


    I need to get you into shape!

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