Mommy this,Mommy that

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  • #596238
    eclipse
    Member

    It’s just one word…but makes so little sense.I feel like I passed away and went to heaven(?)…

    For those of you following….

    #758106
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Why so gloomy?

    ZeesKite !!!

    Because MOMMY said so!

    (a Mommy is a Mommy. Cannot & will not be eclipsed. NEVER!)

    #758107
    smartcookie
    Member

    Eclipse! I feel so bad for you!! Can’t you ask your kids to call her differently in your presence? Or not to mention her at all?

    Or they should start referring to you as “ol’ granny….” 😉

    #758108
    eclipse
    Member

    I’m not at all gloomy,b”h….but it’s hard to get used to.

    Who gave you that? Mommy.

    Take a bath please.I’ll go to Mommy.

    Imma loves you. So does Mommy.

    #758109
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    It really is horrific, and disgusting, too. Why shouldn’t they call your X-in-law, Mrs. Whatever when they talk to you?

    #758110
    TheGoq
    Participant

    She will never be their mother you always will be nothing can change that, they may call her that word but it has no meaning or basis in truth.

    #758111
    aries2756
    Participant

    Eclipse, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you telling your kids “In this house you may refer to her as .(her name). In daddy’s house call her mommy”. In your house YOU are the mommy whether you call yourself Ima, mommy, mom, mother or any other derivative. YOU do not have to hear your kids call her any form of the word. She can be referred to by her first name or by daddy’s wife. Whichever way the children prefer to call her. So you can tell the kids “I am the only mommy in this house, ok? In this house you may call her…….” (be nice now :)..)

    #758112
    eclipse
    Member

    I feel like I have to be PERFECT all the time,it’s not funny….

    #758113
    s2021
    Member

    That must be so hard. Wishing u all the best, lots of hatzlachah

    #758114
    Health
    Participant

    I agree with ZK and Goq. There is nothing to be jealous of. They are trying to manipulate you. Put them to work cleaning and they will quickly forget everything including her!

    #758115
    tomim tihye
    Member

    )`

    )`

    (bad drawing, but it’s supposed to say ouch, that hurts)

    #758116
    eclipse
    Member

    May you ALL be “gebensht” for your kind words,I mean it:).

    Aries,you win!

    I am going to tell them that in my home,they are to call her by her first name or Abba’s wife,from now on.There is only ONE mother here.

    It may not “take”,but I’ll give it a shot.

    #758117
    hanib
    Participant

    ouch. that must hurt. 🙁

    #758118
    adorable
    Participant

    eclipse- I have nothing to say to comfort you just that you should only see nachas from your kids and you should find your bashert too very soon. Hope Pesach is a nice break for you and not a stress. I am looking for some company so you can stop by if you wish!

    #758119
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    “I feel like I have to be PERFECT all the time,it’s not funny….”

    NO. Absolutely not. Children see through things. If not at first, it may take time. There’s no fooling them.

    #758120
    s2021
    Member

    Yay eclipse! Its so great that u r going to say something to ur kiddies. U r making an effort to protect urself from hurt, and thats probably the best thing u can do 4 urself!

    #758121
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Waiting for another entry in the ‘Words Your Family Made Up’!

    #758122
    eclipse
    Member

    ZeesKite—what? Mom-proxy?

    #758123
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    I think a first name would come accross as a fight. How about they call her, “my Shvigger”? After all, a mother through marriage is a mother-in-law!

    #758124
    HAKOL TOV
    Member

    eclipse,

    it really must be painful but deep down they know that you are their true mommy!

    #758125
    smartcookie
    Member

    Eclipse- you definitely should tell them. There’s nothing wrong with that and they don’t have to want!! In your house you’re the only mommy- PERIOD!

    #758126
    aries2756
    Participant

    Eclipse, you have the power of ALL mothers behind you! 🙂

    #758127
    eclipse
    Member

    HaLeivi…only in MY house,not to her.

    #758128
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    I realize. But it will be known. When word gets out that you insist on them referring to her by first name, it will sound like you are trying to be Mezalzel in her. If you have the same last name, I guess that would be queer calling her Mrs. You, but the first name just doesn’t sound good. They can say, Tante First Name, which many people do when a parent gets remarried at a later stage.

    #758129
    commonsense
    Participant

    Eclipse, you don’t have to prove yourself to them, they are your children and most will only be able to appreciate what they put you through later in life. You sound like an amazingly stable understanding person who has her head on straight. Treat your children like you would in every other situation. do not be afraid of their reactions, just be yourself. I think that by seeing that things are still normal by you, your children will feel reassured and begin behaving like should. (eventually) hatzlocha rabba!!! Hashem should give you the emotional and physical koach you need.

    #758130

    Do they know it disturbs you? Sometimes children can come up with very good suggestions once they understand the problem. (The advantage is that they more easily stick to their own decisions.)

    Hatzlocho. I’m sure it’s not easy for you.

    #758131
    eclipse
    Member

    Aries (and HaLeivi)…it was easy.

    I told them about some new choices… They chose “Abba’s kallah” (until the wedding),and “Abba’s wife”(for right after)…

    Thanks,Hashem.

    The first name idea was nixed by default.

    #758132
    eclipse
    Member

    In the z’chus of the generous chizuk you all gave me,may you all enjoy the best Pesach ever!!

    #758133
    smartcookie
    Member

    Good, Eclipse- I’m so happy to hear that you have one problem solved! I think you will feel a bit better now.

    #758134
    HAKOL TOV
    Member

    eclipse,

    i am happy to hear that it worked out for you!!

    #758135
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    I’ll let you know the koach of your brochos. Right now things appear…

    #758136
    adorable
    Participant

    eclipse- I am happy that you found a name that you are comfortable with and they are happy with. I am sure they dont mean to cause you pain its just that they aren’t aware. so happy for you and may you have the most unbelievable pesach break ever!

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