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It’s just one word…but makes so little sense.I feel like I passed away and went to heaven(?)…
For those of you following….
Why so gloomy?
ZeesKite !!!
Because MOMMY said so!
(a Mommy is a Mommy. Cannot & will not be eclipsed. NEVER!)
Eclipse! I feel so bad for you!! Can’t you ask your kids to call her differently in your presence? Or not to mention her at all?
Or they should start referring to you as “ol’ granny….” 😉
It really is horrific, and disgusting, too. Why shouldn’t they call your X-in-law, Mrs. Whatever when they talk to you?
She will never be their mother you always will be nothing can change that, they may call her that word but it has no meaning or basis in truth.
Eclipse, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you telling your kids “In this house you may refer to her as .(her name). In daddy’s house call her mommy”. In your house YOU are the mommy whether you call yourself Ima, mommy, mom, mother or any other derivative. YOU do not have to hear your kids call her any form of the word. She can be referred to by her first name or by daddy’s wife. Whichever way the children prefer to call her. So you can tell the kids “I am the only mommy in this house, ok? In this house you may call her…….” (be nice now :)..)
That must be so hard. Wishing u all the best, lots of hatzlachah
I agree with ZK and Goq. There is nothing to be jealous of. They are trying to manipulate you. Put them to work cleaning and they will quickly forget everything including her!
)
`)
`(bad drawing, but it’s supposed to say ouch, that hurts)
ouch. that must hurt. 🙁
eclipse- I have nothing to say to comfort you just that you should only see nachas from your kids and you should find your bashert too very soon. Hope Pesach is a nice break for you and not a stress. I am looking for some company so you can stop by if you wish!
“I feel like I have to be PERFECT all the time,it’s not funny….”
NO. Absolutely not. Children see through things. If not at first, it may take time. There’s no fooling them.
Yay eclipse! Its so great that u r going to say something to ur kiddies. U r making an effort to protect urself from hurt, and thats probably the best thing u can do 4 urself!
Waiting for another entry in the ‘Words Your Family Made Up’!
I think a first name would come accross as a fight. How about they call her, “my Shvigger”? After all, a mother through marriage is a mother-in-law!
eclipse,
it really must be painful but deep down they know that you are their true mommy!
Eclipse- you definitely should tell them. There’s nothing wrong with that and they don’t have to want!! In your house you’re the only mommy- PERIOD!
Eclipse, you have the power of ALL mothers behind you! 🙂
I realize. But it will be known. When word gets out that you insist on them referring to her by first name, it will sound like you are trying to be Mezalzel in her. If you have the same last name, I guess that would be queer calling her Mrs. You, but the first name just doesn’t sound good. They can say, Tante First Name, which many people do when a parent gets remarried at a later stage.
Eclipse, you don’t have to prove yourself to them, they are your children and most will only be able to appreciate what they put you through later in life. You sound like an amazingly stable understanding person who has her head on straight. Treat your children like you would in every other situation. do not be afraid of their reactions, just be yourself. I think that by seeing that things are still normal by you, your children will feel reassured and begin behaving like should. (eventually) hatzlocha rabba!!! Hashem should give you the emotional and physical koach you need.
Do they know it disturbs you? Sometimes children can come up with very good suggestions once they understand the problem. (The advantage is that they more easily stick to their own decisions.)
Hatzlocho. I’m sure it’s not easy for you.
Good, Eclipse- I’m so happy to hear that you have one problem solved! I think you will feel a bit better now.
eclipse,
i am happy to hear that it worked out for you!!
I’ll let you know the koach of your brochos. Right now things appear…
eclipse- I am happy that you found a name that you are comfortable with and they are happy with. I am sure they dont mean to cause you pain its just that they aren’t aware. so happy for you and may you have the most unbelievable pesach break ever!
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