Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Mother Theresa And Bikur Cholim (l'havdil…)
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March 21, 2011 2:00 pm at 2:00 pm #595798eclipseMember
Do you think there’s a connection between being ultra kind and caring…and less attractive?Or only amongst non-Jews?
March 21, 2011 4:41 pm at 4:41 pm #751769HealthParticipantNo such a connection. There are plenty of nice looking Jews and goyim who do chessed and vice-versa. Everyone has Bechira, no matter what they look like on the outside. This is your creative, writing mind playing tricks on you.
March 21, 2011 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #751770eclipseMemberLike people who can’t use beauty as a free pass in life have to be nice,sincerely nice?
March 21, 2011 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #751771smartcookieMemberYes, many times. Sometimes not though.
March 22, 2011 2:19 am at 2:19 am #751772HealthParticipant“Like people who can’t use beauty as a free pass in life have to be nice,sincerely nice?”
I disagree. I’m extremely beautiful, actually handsome and I’m very nice too boot!
March 22, 2011 2:24 am at 2:24 am #751773eclipseMemberHealth–and humble?
March 22, 2011 2:32 am at 2:32 am #751774smartcookieMemberMany people who are beautiful become extremely snobby and bigshoty. But many beautiful people remain really special inside!
I guess we have some of both!
March 22, 2011 2:34 am at 2:34 am #751775s2021MemberI feel like with people who are super nice and ALSO beautifull- Its the beauty that gets the spotlight, and the kind deeds are unfortunately overshadowed, and unnoticed in comparison. Anyone notice this? I have, and its horrible..
March 22, 2011 2:47 am at 2:47 am #751776metrodriverMembereclipse; I can understand, Psychologically, where you’re coming from. But kindness (among all Human beings) comes from the heart, the soul, the Neshama. I know plenty of Beautiful, handsome people who are kind, to boot. On the other hand, (which might give a boost to an opposing theory, that the appearance of a person is a reflection of their soul.) I know quite a few people who are as mean and as sour in their deeds and actions as is reflected on their face.
March 22, 2011 3:04 am at 3:04 am #751777eclipseMembermetrodriver…I was not referring to Mr.X as I never thought of him as “handsome”.I just meant that middos are better developed SOMETIMES in more average-looking people because there is no “distraction” of beauty.
I personally see beauty in MOST people I know (everyone has something special about them),but I meant the way the world at large sees “beauty”.
I also feel that our youthful appearance is more likely to remain with us if we are kind to others…I don’t know why,maybe it’s plain old wishful thinking? Fear of aging?
March 22, 2011 3:14 am at 3:14 am #751778eclipseMembersmartcookie: I agree.
s2021: Totally!It bothers me when my daughters keep hearing about their(ka”h) appearance,and no one talks about character.It makes girls think that’s all others notice,so it must be EXTREMELY important!
If I am able to,I add “She’s beautiful on the inside,too”–just so they hear that it matters.Once they are teens,though,it sounds bit juvenile(for me to say that) and plus it’s better to feel pretty than have a zillion complexes.
MY POINT HERE IS:
Let’s compliment what we want to see more of: GOOD CHARACTER!!!
March 22, 2011 3:17 am at 3:17 am #751779GrandmasterMemberI would say Sarah Imanu had very good midos despite her great beauty.
March 22, 2011 3:21 am at 3:21 am #751780eclipseMemberGrandmaster,no one can argue that.But then,no one lost their beauty it seems.I mean,they lived who-knows-how-long.
March 22, 2011 3:45 am at 3:45 am #751781s2021Membereclipse- yay someone gets me! It also scares me with the GUYS.. In shidduchim its not even considered shallow to be into looks.. Its like get with the times! U gotta hav a picture, they gotta know ur size… Does anyone have any depth??
When I was getting Divorced n stuff my ex wanted to try to figure out how he felt about me. He put together a list of pros and cons about me. It was entirely body parts.. lol!!?! It wouldntv been so horrofying if I thought that was my value, and if I didnt know how amazing my unique character is.
I dont understand why WOMAN are like this though.. obsessing and idolizing beauty as if it IS worth..
March 22, 2011 3:48 am at 3:48 am #751782HealthParticipanteclipse – “Health–and humble?”
Look you can state the truth and not be affected by it. Moshe Rabbeynu wrote “Moshe the Man was the most humble person of anyone in this world”. He wasn’t affected by writing this.
Also, how did I know you were going to write what you did after I commented?
March 22, 2011 3:51 am at 3:51 am #751783HealthParticipants2021 -So did ur ex come out pro or con?
March 22, 2011 3:55 am at 3:55 am #751784s2021Memberhealth- lol- As I said before.. He still thinks I belong with him.. guess that means I passed
March 22, 2011 4:05 am at 4:05 am #751785HealthParticipants2021 – It’s funny that you wrote ur ex would come after anyone who married you; I once overheard my ex discussing taking a hit out on me.
March 22, 2011 4:06 am at 4:06 am #751786eclipseMembers2021:Your ex sounds like a real treasure….
Health:…because I have become predictable?
March 22, 2011 4:12 am at 4:12 am #751787charliehallParticipantWhat does this have to do with Mother Theresa?
March 22, 2011 4:15 am at 4:15 am #751788GrandmasterMemberI guess she was ugly.
March 22, 2011 4:16 am at 4:16 am #751789eclipseMemberCharlie…think.:)
March 22, 2011 4:24 am at 4:24 am #751790cshapiroMemberperhaps mother T figured she had no chance on the runway in paris so she decided to be kind and giving to earn peoples likeness and approval….:))
as far as ex’s and hitmen…i would strongly advise a restraining order…but thats just me….i had an ex threaten to come after anyone i dated but bh i think hes back home, in the psycho ward where he belongs
March 22, 2011 4:30 am at 4:30 am #751791s2021Membercshap- aaaaaw he can be friends with my ex!! They can polish ther shotguns together.. and Health can fwd the invite to his ex if things get dull!!
March 22, 2011 4:36 am at 4:36 am #751792cshapiroMemberokay but visiting hours are from 12-2…but best to call in advance to double check that he is taking his meds…
March 22, 2011 4:40 am at 4:40 am #751793eclipseMemberMother Theresa does not approve of this violence!
March 22, 2011 4:41 am at 4:41 am #751794HealthParticipants2021- My ex-wife doesn’t need any cowboys helping her -she’s got the mob behind her!
s2021 & cshapiro -How did the two of you end up with such winners?
March 22, 2011 4:48 am at 4:48 am #751795cshapiroMemberlol health…after him i became more selective hence the ‘i only date football player’ phase. bh no psychos since then…;))
March 22, 2011 4:49 am at 4:49 am #751796s2021Memberhealth- lol
and Oy.. The perils of being young and trusting in todays shidduch market..
March 22, 2011 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #751797Derech HaMelechMember.????? ??
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‘????? ??? ??? ?’ ?????? ????: ???? ????? ???? ?? ???
So from these two gemarahs it seems that doing chesed and being attractive are part of the Jewish female genetics.
March 22, 2011 11:57 pm at 11:57 pm #751798eclipseMemberDerech…nice!
March 23, 2011 2:29 am at 2:29 am #751799smartcookieMemberI don’t think it’s nice to discuss ex spouses here. Sorry to ruin the fun. I don’t know why some posts were approved.
(Am I being a goody goody?)
March 23, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #751800eclipseMemberNo,you are probably right.
March 23, 2011 2:47 am at 2:47 am #751801s2021MemberCookie- It probly wasnt very nice.. but it was SO fun.. I wouldnt really talk about him at all in real life, and it felt really good to vent a lil..
March 23, 2011 3:55 am at 3:55 am #751802hudiParticipantWhat motivated mother Teresa? Was it her giving nature or her religious beliefs? She was a catholic nun after all…
March 23, 2011 4:06 am at 4:06 am #751803charliehallParticipantShe was not ugly. Have any of you ignoramuses ever seen a photograph of her as a young woman? Her skin was wrinkled, but that is what happens when you take someone from Eastern Europe and put them in a hot and sunny climate for decades.
March 23, 2011 4:51 am at 4:51 am #751804HealthParticipantEclipse & s2021 – “No,you are probably right.
Cookie- It probly wasnt very nice.. but it was SO fun.. I wouldnt really talk about him at all in real life, and it felt really good to vent a lil..”
Stop feeling guilty -I don’t. She’s entitled to her opinion, but she isn’t a mod.
I will continue to post whatever I feel like posting and if it doesn’t pass the mods -ok that’s their perjorative. But my posts don’t have to meet anyone else’s approval!
March 23, 2011 5:09 am at 5:09 am #751805smartcookieMemberHealth- how can you be so certain that I’m not a mod?
I’m not here to tell you to stop talking. I can’t control anyone but myself.
I was just making you aware that what you were doing isn’t the nicest thing in the world, in case you didn’t realize it.
Sorry if you were offended.
March 23, 2011 5:19 am at 5:19 am #751806s2021MemberHealth- dont worry, we can all post whatever we want with the Mods permission, but we now have a “Touchy Subject Support Group” for those of us who need to vent about touchy subjects… ppl who r afraid of such subjects can simply not join! 🙂
March 23, 2011 5:33 am at 5:33 am #751807HealthParticipantsmartcookie – “Health- how can you be so certain that I’m not a mod?”
If you were, we wouldn’t be having this convo now, you would have just deleted anything you didn’t like.
“I’m not here to tell you to stop talking. I can’t control anyone but myself.”
At least you realize that and maybe also you can control your husband & kids.
“I was just making you aware that what you were doing isn’t the nicest thing in the world, in case you didn’t realize it.”
Thanks for the realization, but when it comes to posting – I post and if it’s not up to par, the mods have the edit & delete buttons.
“Sorry if you were offended.”
I wasn’t, but it seems that eclipse & s2021 were.
March 23, 2011 6:12 am at 6:12 am #751808s2021Memberno worries- def wasnt offended
March 23, 2011 11:57 am at 11:57 am #751809smartcookieMemberHealth- sometimes it’s not something a mod would delete because the content is fine. But the post doesn’t reflect well on the writer.
That was my point. It just wasn’t nice!
But please! Do as you feel is right!
Ok next please!
March 23, 2011 1:17 pm at 1:17 pm #751810smartcookieMemberI will continue to post whatever I feel like posting and if it doesn’t pass the mods -ok that’s their perjorative. But my posts don’t have to meet anyone else’s approval!
Btw Health- that, to me, looked like you were offended. I didn’t see that coming from Eclipse and S2021 (and you’re a man!)
So, sorry if you were or weren’t offended!
March 23, 2011 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #751811HealthParticipantSC – “Btw Health- that, to me, looked like you were offended”
That’s just making a statement on my posting, not answering to you.
“But the post doesn’t reflect well on the writer.
That was my point. It just wasn’t nice!”
Now it seems you are trying to offend me!
BTW -I’m not always a nice person; at least I’m real, not like a lot of people!
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