Mothers in the CR

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    I wanted a little bit of advice from all you mothers out there. ( or in here).

    BH I gave birth about 5 weeks ago. Healthy beautiful happy baby bH. Everything went well thank Gd and I am feeling great. I am having some issues though dealing with my weight gain. I have alwas been a slim girl, exercised though, I am not naturally a stick who can eat ice cream all say. But I have never been over weight. Anyway this was my first pregnancy and I put on 50 pounds (eek!) I kept thinking eh I love the gym I’ll work it off and I will nurse. I am nursing and I am just not losing weight. I started going to the gym this week, taking it slow though, but I am just struggling with the mirror and the fact that absolutely nothing fits me. I look worse in maternity b/c it’s too big, my mother gave me 2 of her shirts, which I would have been swimming in pre-baby. I’m just really upset and I feel like I will never lose this weight or be comfortable outside of my home again. If anyone has tips, or advice or personal stories it would be very helpful. Thank you! Good shabbos 🙂


    First of all, mazel tov on the birth of your new baby, and have much nachas, always.

    The biggest tip I can give you is to stop having agita over your present weight. You are nursing, and that will help you lose weight naturally, over time. Right now your focus has to be on the health of the baby and not on what you see in the mirror. Every one of the 50 lbs. you gained worked to give you a beautiful, healthy child, kinehora, and that is no small feat. Yasher koach.

    Just eat and drink in a healthy way, don’t obsess over the weight, and go for long walks with the baby. You WILL lose the weight over time. You may never look exactly the same as before pregnancy, because your body has undergone a change (and it is for the better – you helped create a new life). Don’t let anyone make you feel fat or less attractive. Wear those extra lbs. proudly for now, and just live a healthy life with good healthy food and exercise, and you will be fine.


    5 weeks is not long enough to lose your weight. I found that it took me a few months. Slim people do put on more weight than the average during pregnancy.

    I bought myself a few new clothes for my after-birth size so that I had something that fit me (and it was surprising how many people asked me how I managed to lose weight so quickly. I was actually 2 sizes larger)

    And I agree with everything oomis said.


    You are definitely being too hard on yourself. However, I found that I was famished after giving birth, and even once the hunger subsided I continued overeating, so be aware of how much you are eating. You do need more calories when nursing, but not substantially more.

    Also, and it’s probably too soon after birth for this, but it’s helpful to know so you don’t get frustrated now by lack of progress — napping, and down time, a necessity now, means you have less active hours and are burning less calories. It’s a catch 22 though because lack of sleep also triggers overeating. With time, a baby that sleeps through the night or isn’t too disruptive (for this you’ve got to pray…) and smart time management and cutting out unnecessary stuff, you’ll be able too have a more active day, with limited naps and lazy mornings (nursing also means you don’t have to get out of bed to tend to your baby’s needs).

    This is based on my own experience being a stay at home mom, but you really have to see what works for you, and definitely don’t rush your recuperation process, just realize that you are in a very early stage post birth, and a lot of what’s keeping you from slimming down will change for the better, and I haven’t even touched on hormones yet… Oh, and most importantly Mazel Tov and lots of nachas!


    Mazel tov. Your baby is still a newborn and is totally dependent on you for his/her survival. That is more important to focus on than a few extra pounds. Give yourself a year. At least.

    Zvi. happy

    sounds like my sister…

    first of all you don’t always loos from nursing right away it takes time….

    my sister was just a bit more careful with what she ate she is now 7 mon after birth and fits into her Sheva brachoss dress….

    it will come with time…. good luck…


    Been there done that…

    I aso gained 50 pounds by my first preg. i went from 130 to 180 not kidding!!!

    By my sons bris, a family friend came over to me and told me “wow you looked so distorted! slowly you will get back to yourself!”

    I was never a gym type bec I was always so thin. When my son was 2 months I started the gym. By the time he was 7 months I was back to myself. I find you dont start losing from nursing until the baby is 5 months old and nursing a substantial amount. BTW, Not e/o loses weight from nursing.

    It took me a couple of months to lose, after all, it took 9 months to gain! But I did lose all my weight in time for my next pregnancy, and the second time around I was careful not to gain so much weight. I did it and I know others that did too after gaining this amount. Keep positive, eat healthy, drink a lot and IY”H you will see results.

    Enjoy your precious gift!


    Thank you guys for the advice. It is not something I am obsessing over, I just have always had a poor body image for whatever reason and I just really feel bad. Also I know everyone keeps saying 9 months on, 9 months off, but no have literally met 4 or 5 women who JUST had babies and you would never know they had ever been pregnant. I also feel guilty about overindulging when I was pregnant. BH I have a husband who makes me feel like the prettiest woman in the world, just feel yucky. Maybe if I did get clothes that fit for now I would feel better, but who can afford 3 wardrobes! ( regular, maternity, postpartum!)


    MarahRach, after reading your posts, i thought you were in my head and posting what you saw. I too was slim before my babies. After my first it took a while but i did lose the weight. It was more than 5 weeks though. I still have the flab though…after my 2nd, again, it took a couple of months, but i did it and ended up with a bit more flab. After my 3rd, i gained the most during this pregnancy, i never lost the weight, i’m 10 pounds heavier than my pre baby weight. i have a very poor body image too but a very supportive husband who also makes me feel like i’m the prettiest woman in the world.

    I found that buying a size bigger did make me feel bad but i looked better in it. I also cut out the size label so I dont have to see it every time i get dressed.

    I’m trying to get used to it and i’m sure you can too. Give yourself some time.

    Good luck!


    i have a very poor body image too but a very supportive husband who also makes me feel like i’m the prettiest woman in the world.”

    Hold onto THAT one. He sounds like a real keeper… And make him feel like the handsomest, smartest guy in the world, while you’re at it.


    right on, miritchka,

    I am in the same situation as you

    with the first child, it does come off with hard work.

    However, with more children, it is harder to lose the flab which makes someone look much heavier.

    MorachRach, you should not compare yourself to other women with

    many children who look like they have lost more flab/weight than

    you. Why? because your body is not the same as the others’. woman’s.

    Also, women have different sized babies; a bigger baby means more “weight gain” so it might be harder for you to lose than another woman who had a smaller baby. In addition, some taller women might have the flab but can hide it better or use some other method for hiding. Lastly, some women have metabolic disorders which means no matter how much exercise or healthy dieting those women do, their body will hardly lose weight compared to women with proper working metabolisms.

    All in all, my, our.. children ARE WORTH IT, just think

    of all the people who are going through infertility!

    Morahrach, I am glad you started this post as most women don’t

    like to talk about this issue.

    I would like to hear from others who have a few children and

    have trouble getting rid of the flab, getting back to “pre-baby#1” weight!


    Who says you have to go back to pre-baby #1 weight . For most of us 10 pounds more or so is a very healthy weight , especially if she’s breastfeeding which adds a few pounds to her physique and/or she used to be stick thin. Please everybody keep your expectations real.

    write or wrong

    You can’t expect to lose in 5 weeks what took you 9 months to gain. You will lose the wait by nursing, and by being a busy mom! Exercise is good too, but I’ve learned that we tend to revert back to our ‘genetically determined’ weight, no matter what. Some mothers can exercise a lot, but never really get skinny bc it doesn’t run in their family (and it’s not their potential). And some mothers hardly exercise at all, and they’re as thin as can be. After having had all my kids, and exercising a bit, noshing a bit, I still look exactly like my mother…


    Don’t forget that the pregnancy and weight gain may have put some pounds/inches on and redistributed your weight. By necessity, our bodies change shape during pregnancy, and not just in the belly: the joints become more flexible, hormonal changes occur influencing where and how fats and protein are stored, and there is increased blood circulation and water retention. This is natural. Don’t believe all of the anti-female, Madison Ave., fashion magazine garbage that is designed to SELL things to consumers. You are wise to try to shape up and eat moderately. But don’t do it at the expense of your sanity, health, or baby’s health!

    Your proudest achievement should be being a Jewish mother. Your body was created for this by the One Who is Perfect. Love yourself as you are; Hashem made you this way.

    Hold onto THAT one. He sounds like a real keeper… And make him feel like the handsomest, smartest guy in the world, while you’re at it.

    Ditto what oomis said! How blessed you (both) are!

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