mutchering a menadev to give more money?

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  • #595385
    real-brisker
    Member

    What does the oilum think about, when people that collect (on purim as well) mutcher, and ask the menadev to increase their donation? Is it not yashrus, or is this accepted?

    #745112
    aries2756
    Participant

    It is definitely NOT accepted and it is quite rude. Whoever the collector is they are NOT the only person coming to collect and the giver knows who he wants to give to and how much he wants to give. If he graciously gives everyone that walks in then kol hakovod to him. No one has the right to push him to give more, they should graciously thank the giver and zeh hu. Just because a person has a big house or a nice car in the driveway does not give another person a right to judge how much he has in the bank or how much he thinks he deserves.

    #745113
    smartcookie
    Member

    Mutcher? Mutchering?

    #745114
    real-brisker
    Member

    cookie – mutcher means to beg, ask, request… (its in yiddish)

    #745115
    smartcookie
    Member

    RB- I’m a pro in Yiddish! However, I think the word is Mutcha.

    #745116
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    im also a pro in yiddish. i thought it was butcher

    #745117
    canine
    Member

    genuk shoin!

    #745118
    always here
    Participant

    mutcha, mutcher… shvigga, shvigger .. do you think it’s the Brooklyn accent of dropping the ‘r’ in the pronounciation?

    it’s rude (mutchering).

    #745119
    oomis
    Participant

    Mutcher – I thought it means to bother someone a lot.

    In any case, it is NOT acceptable to do so.

    #745120
    always here
    Participant

    pester/badger

    #745121

    i agree that it is rude but you have to realize that the uni may not realizre and he is doing so out of desperation. Have rachmunis

    #745122
    observanteen
    Member

    I hate it when ppl mutcha for others for money. It’s very rude! Maybe the noisen doesn’t even have the money to give!

    #745123
    amichai
    Participant

    makes us very uncomfortable.

    #745124
    dveykus613
    Participant

    my father used to be very well off, and had countless meshulachim a week, but he would give what he felt he could, and what he felt befitted that cause (even a rich person can only give $1000 or $5000 once in a while to exceptional causes) and if someone said (especially chutzpadik-ly) that $360 wasn’t enough he made the meshulach give it back and told him to leave. if you give $360 to thousands of organizations it really adds up, and the halacha is to give to more people, not all tzedaka in one place. If someone wants to be brazen they don’t deserve it.

    At the same time, you can feel out the person, if you ask in a kovodika way if they can handle any more as the organization really needs it, that might be ok, but when you say it leave an “out” like “I know times are tough financially now, if you can’t I understand & I’m grateful for what you did give, but our organization is really in dire straits, can you possibly afford to help out a bit more?” then perhaps you have a chance, but again, feel out the person. In general mentchlichkeit will get you much further than brazenness and chutzpah.

    #745125
    fabie
    Member

    There is another side to this. The more people do this, the less inclined the donors will be willing to give those that ask respecfully.

    #745126
    rescue37
    Participant

    On a related topic,

    While it says kol haposhed yad nosnim lo, does that really apply to bachrum collecting for yeshivas? On purim we give matanos la’evyonim, how does the minhag of bochrum collecting for yeshivas and other mosdos fall into matanos la’evyonim?

    #745127
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    When I was living on my own, one organization really badgered me and made me feel guilty for attempting to say no (I didn’t have any money – I was a poor college student). Finally, I agreed to send ten dollars.

    The whole situation left such a bad taste in my mouth that I cut that organization off my charity list. I want to give tzedaka with a full heart.

    #745128
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    It’s a very rude practice. It’s also unethical because the donor doesn’t really want to give the money and in some sense you are taking what he doesn’t want to give you (the same logic that forbids gambling).

    #745129
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Am I the only one who keeps reading the first word of this title as “murdering”?

    #745130
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    No. Interesting thought, isn’t it?

    #745131
    aries2756
    Participant

    As far as bochurim collecting…..if they are drinking or drunk we give nothing and show them the door.

    #745132
    real-brisker
    Member

    aries – Why? Are you afraid they might loose the money?

    #745133
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Keep a roll of pennies for Rude Bochrim on Purim.

    #745134
    winny1
    Participant

    smart cookie- it is mutcher if you have a brooklyn accent.

    #745135
    deiyezooger
    Member

    Besides being rude it dosen’t work and its a waste of time for the colector and the donor.

    #745136
    deiyezooger
    Member

    And BTW the word is:

    ????????

    or mutchenen.

    #745137
    Shrek
    Member

    Is the practice “accepted”? Well, we may have gotten used to it. But it’s not “acceptable” behavior.

    It’s gotten to the point where I dread opening the door. Some of the tzedakah collectors have gotten very aggressive, ringing the bell at all hours, arguing, etc. I try to remind myself that I’m glad I’m not in their position…but giving tzedakah happily becomes a lot more challenging when the recipient seems unappreciative.

    #745138
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Now I just read it as “butchering”.

    #745139
    ✡onegoal™
    Participant

    Popa- have you ever been tested for dyslexia?

    #745140
    real-brisker
    Member

    shrek – Correct, Not accepted = Not acceptable.

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