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What does the oilum think about, when people that collect (on purim as well) mutcher, and ask the menadev to increase their donation? Is it not yashrus, or is this accepted?
It is definitely NOT accepted and it is quite rude. Whoever the collector is they are NOT the only person coming to collect and the giver knows who he wants to give to and how much he wants to give. If he graciously gives everyone that walks in then kol hakovod to him. No one has the right to push him to give more, they should graciously thank the giver and zeh hu. Just because a person has a big house or a nice car in the driveway does not give another person a right to judge how much he has in the bank or how much he thinks he deserves.
Mutcher? Mutchering?
RB- I’m a pro in Yiddish! However, I think the word is Mutcha.
im also a pro in yiddish. i thought it was butcher
genuk shoin!
mutcha, mutcher… shvigga, shvigger .. do you think it’s the Brooklyn accent of dropping the ‘r’ in the pronounciation?
it’s rude (mutchering).
Mutcher – I thought it means to bother someone a lot.
In any case, it is NOT acceptable to do so.
pester/badger
i agree that it is rude but you have to realize that the uni may not realizre and he is doing so out of desperation. Have rachmunis
I hate it when ppl mutcha for others for money. It’s very rude! Maybe the noisen doesn’t even have the money to give!
makes us very uncomfortable.
my father used to be very well off, and had countless meshulachim a week, but he would give what he felt he could, and what he felt befitted that cause (even a rich person can only give $1000 or $5000 once in a while to exceptional causes) and if someone said (especially chutzpadik-ly) that $360 wasn’t enough he made the meshulach give it back and told him to leave. if you give $360 to thousands of organizations it really adds up, and the halacha is to give to more people, not all tzedaka in one place. If someone wants to be brazen they don’t deserve it.
At the same time, you can feel out the person, if you ask in a kovodika way if they can handle any more as the organization really needs it, that might be ok, but when you say it leave an “out” like “I know times are tough financially now, if you can’t I understand & I’m grateful for what you did give, but our organization is really in dire straits, can you possibly afford to help out a bit more?” then perhaps you have a chance, but again, feel out the person. In general mentchlichkeit will get you much further than brazenness and chutzpah.
There is another side to this. The more people do this, the less inclined the donors will be willing to give those that ask respecfully.
On a related topic,
While it says kol haposhed yad nosnim lo, does that really apply to bachrum collecting for yeshivas? On purim we give matanos la’evyonim, how does the minhag of bochrum collecting for yeshivas and other mosdos fall into matanos la’evyonim?
When I was living on my own, one organization really badgered me and made me feel guilty for attempting to say no (I didn’t have any money – I was a poor college student). Finally, I agreed to send ten dollars.
The whole situation left such a bad taste in my mouth that I cut that organization off my charity list. I want to give tzedaka with a full heart.
It’s a very rude practice. It’s also unethical because the donor doesn’t really want to give the money and in some sense you are taking what he doesn’t want to give you (the same logic that forbids gambling).
Am I the only one who keeps reading the first word of this title as “murdering”?
No. Interesting thought, isn’t it?
As far as bochurim collecting…..if they are drinking or drunk we give nothing and show them the door.
Keep a roll of pennies for Rude Bochrim on Purim.
smart cookie- it is mutcher if you have a brooklyn accent.
Besides being rude it dosen’t work and its a waste of time for the colector and the donor.
And BTW the word is:
????????
or mutchenen.
Is the practice “accepted”? Well, we may have gotten used to it. But it’s not “acceptable” behavior.
It’s gotten to the point where I dread opening the door. Some of the tzedakah collectors have gotten very aggressive, ringing the bell at all hours, arguing, etc. I try to remind myself that I’m glad I’m not in their position…but giving tzedakah happily becomes a lot more challenging when the recipient seems unappreciative.
Now I just read it as “butchering”.
Popa- have you ever been tested for dyslexia?
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