Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › My makeup routine making the churban
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August 18, 2016 12:08 pm at 12:08 pm #618158HappygirlygirlMember
Every morning I keep having a question and jist decided to post It here. When i was in 10 grade we learned in yeshaya that part of the reasons for the churban happening as it says in pesukim I saw with my own eyes but I can’t say where cause idk maybe the second or third chapter …that the churban happened cause women colored their eyelids blue or purple…..something like that I remember vaguely and now that I’m applying makeup daily I keep feeling guilty about my makeup routine and i am wondering if I is still wrong to wear blue eyeshadow and if it is was the posuk also talking about pink and other colors? I wanna hear only the truth so don’t make up (see the pun?) You’re own answers
August 18, 2016 12:48 pm at 12:48 pm #1178195MenoParticipantI think blue was just the common color back then.
The gemara often uses the word “k’chol” (not sure about the pronounciation) to refer to eye makeup. I don’t think it means specifically blue.
August 18, 2016 12:54 pm at 12:54 pm #1178196Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl- That’s a very good question, and I am very impressed by the fact that you are asking it! I have never heard of any Rav assuring makeup, and my impression is that in fact, it is considered very important nowadays for girls to look good and feel good about their appearance and that nowadays, makeup is considered acceptable. The question is: How can this be so if we have those psukim in (it’s either Yeshayahu or Yirmiyahu – I believe it’s in a Rashi there) seemingly stating otherwise?
There seem to be two distinctions:
1. The reason why you are wearing makeup. Are you wearing the makeup for not lishma reasons (to attract boys not for marriage purposes) or are you wearing the makeup because you want to feel good about yourself and/or for shidduch/tachlis purposes (which would also include wearing makeup while not on dates in order that people will set you up)
2. It has to do with the type and/or amount of makeup worn. If you are wearing makeup in such a way that you really stick out, then maybe it’s a problem, but if your makeup is more or less natural and meant to enhance your features, then it should be fine.
It is important to remember that extremes in either direction are not good, and it is a Torah value to be happy and feel good about oneself.
I understand that you want to know what Daas Torah is on the topic. I believe that what I wrote is according to Daas Torah, but when I have a chance, I will try to verify for you if I can.
August 18, 2016 1:06 pm at 1:06 pm #1178197Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl: I just realized that you have no idea who I am, so you are probably thinking, “why should I care what LU has to say on the topic?” I realize that you don’t know who I am and I am reluctant to reveal my identity or even give over too many facts about myself, but I will just tell you that I have been teaching halacha and hashkafa in seminaries for many years, so I am reasonably qualified to answer a question like this.
But again, I will try to speak to a Rav about it when I have a chance.
August 18, 2016 1:07 pm at 1:07 pm #1178198Ex-CTLawyerParticipantKhol…is a crayon type eyeliner…………
I’ve seen the bills for the ladies of the house
August 18, 2016 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm #1178199HappygirlygirlMemberMeno-so does it mean that no eye shadow at all?
Ctlawyer lol I wear the white khol eye liner (…)I would not have unerstood your comment a few days ago cause just got it
LU omg you teach hashkafa in sems? I did not think of you being that way…okay so I know for a fact that it was yeshaya ..the posuk there also states that too much of anything is not good. And if it’s taka assur why do most people wear it….not just modern people I mean…. Also is blue worse than pink? Also I wear makeup and do my hair even I no one sees I wear jewelry and headbands and perfume and do my nails cause I like it and i like feeling like a princess so it isn’t for guys maybe they like it but I would not know
edited a bit of the extra, possibly more personal, information
August 18, 2016 1:56 pm at 1:56 pm #1178200Lilmod UlelamaidParticipant” I did not think of you being that way” trying to decide if this is a compliment or an insult… maybe a bit of both? Currently, I am actually teaching adults.
August 18, 2016 2:03 pm at 2:03 pm #1178201Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl, when I asked my Rav recently about getting a not-kosher phone with texting, he told me that Hashem doesn’t want us to be depressed. Personally, I wouldn’t get depressed if I didn’t have texting – I just need it for work purposes.
But I am positive that he would tell you that you should wear makeup since it does seem to be very important to you. Of course, moderation is important. I think though that if you feel you should get rid of one thing, perhaps the perfume should go before the eyeshadow…It seems to me that perfume may be more of a problem halachically than eyeshadow. I don’t know if it’s assur or if you should get rid of it either, but if you do get rid of one thing, I think it should be that.
August 18, 2016 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #1178202HappygirlygirlMemberLol that thing you edited was was makeup tip for girls. ..we need female mods
I didn’t really see this audience as the appropriate target for girl’s makeup tips…
August 18, 2016 4:33 pm at 4:33 pm #1178203👑RebYidd23ParticipantMakeup should be reserved for wartime to make you look more intimidating.
August 18, 2016 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm #1178204apushatayidParticipantThe gemara appears in several places. It isnt the eye shadow per se. It also isnt the perfumes they wore, per se. the gemara continues to describe what they did with their perfume how they walked who they walked with. the common denominator was that everything they did was with the singular goal of attracting the attention of the young men.
August 18, 2016 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #1178205a maminParticipantI am NOT a posek, BUT you definitely need to find one. There is a gemara that ALL EYE SHADOW is forbidden.
August 18, 2016 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #1178206apushatayidParticipanta mamin. please dont make up gemaras.
August 18, 2016 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #1178207MDGParticipantAS APY said, the problem was because the women were making themselves up for immorality. See the passage form the Gemara.
Shabbat 62a, Soncino Translation:
[mesakrothh] eyes:28 they filled their eyes with stibium and beckoned.29
Walking and mincing: they walked, a tall woman by the side of a short one. And making a tinkling [te’akasnah] with their feet: R. Isaac of the School of R. Ammi said: This teaches that they placed myrrh and balsam in their shoes and walked through the market-places of Jerusalem , and on coming near to the young men of Israel, they kicked their feet and spurted it on them, thus instilling them with passionate desire like with serpent’s poison.30
[bosem] there shall be rottenness:31 the place where they perfumed themselves [mithbasmoth] shall be decaying sores. And instead of a girdle a rope [nikpeh]: the place where they were girded with a girdle shall become full of bruises [nekafim]. And instead of well-set hair baldness: the place where they adorned themselves shall be filled with bald patches.
(24) Isa. III, 16.
(26) Ibid.
(27) I.e., with short mincing steps. One who walks with outstretched neck must take short steps, because he cannot see
his feet (Rashi).
(28) Ibid.
(29) To the men.
August 18, 2016 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm #1178208golferParticipantLilmod ulelamaid, I was extremely disturbed by something you wrote. I realize everyone here is just having fun and nobody knows (for the most part) who anyone is. Nobody with a drop of seichel or integrity is using the CR to pasken shailos or solve their hashkafic dilemmas.
Still, you write that you teach Halacha and Hashkafa, and then you drop a bombshell like that on us- I couldn’t let it pass.
You begin by quoting what a poseik told you, namely, “Hashem doesn’t want us to be depressed,” in a discussion about text messaging. Then you extrapolate from this statement what your Rav would say about eye shadow. And you don’t even have the good grace to express any doubt or hesitation. You “are positive he would tell you…”
First of all:
You never ever try to draw comparisons and determine Halachic rulings from what a Rav tells you; not for yourself in different circumstances and definitely not for anybody else. The psak Halacha you received is to be regarded as binding for you in your present circumstances and that’s as far as it goes. If you are told the spoon is Kosher that does Not mean your neighbor’s spoon is also kosher. If you are expecting twins and are in your twenty-sixth week, and you receive instructions from your Rav as to how you should handle Tisha B’Av, you absolutely may not pass on this advice to your sister who is in exactly the same position.
It is far more than presumptuous of you to say that you are positive what your Rav would say about any Dvar Halacha. Hopefully your Rav is completely familiar with 4 Chelkei Shulchan Aruch and the full body of Torah literature that expounds upon it. He has watched and listened to his own Rabbayim. You cannot fathom the calculations that go into a seemingly simple psak. There is no way you can extrapolate from what he told you, what his opinion is on something else.
I know the subject is just a simple bit of eye shadow. But I could not ignore your statement. Especially in light of the fact that you state you are a mechanech or mechaneches.
End rant.
August 18, 2016 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #1178209HappygirlygirlMemberThanks to mod #feelingmoreunwanted
There are a few women here so I made a tiny comment why I use white eyeliner.you’re you’re guy you won’t understand it. But if a guy here gave a good tip on something masculine you wouldn’t say anything even if there are a few females here….
I don’t think your assumptions are correct and we should always be careful not to jump to conclusions.
I’m not a feminist at all but we are all here in one forum its not like I spoke above private girl stuff ya know.
August 18, 2016 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1178210I. M. ShluffinParticipant+1 RebYidd
August 19, 2016 12:35 am at 12:35 am #1178212HappygirlygirlMemberMdg thank u for shedding some light…..I have a question what in the world are wanton eyes is that like a nice way of saying Chinese?
August 19, 2016 12:57 am at 12:57 am #1178213WolfishMusingsParticipantI have a question what in the world are wanton eyes is that like a nice way of saying Chinese?
No
adjective
1.
(of a cruel or violent action) deliberate and unprovoked.
“sheer wanton vandalism”
2.
(especially of a woman) sexually immodest or promiscuous.
The Wolf
August 19, 2016 3:43 am at 3:43 am #1178214HappygirlygirlMemberOh wow I learn new things here every day..so I guess it’s definition number two…..can I tell someone you’re such a wanton?
August 19, 2016 4:26 am at 4:26 am #1178215☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantNobody with a drop of seichel or integrity is using the CR to pasken shailos or solve their hashkafic dilemmas.
Never underestimate the potential foolishness of
(possibly teenage) forum users on the Internet.
August 19, 2016 4:31 am at 4:31 am #1178216☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantI didn’t really see this audience as the
appropriate target for girl’s makeup tips…
I’m a male, and I find it hard to believe anyone would be
brought to inappropriate thoughts/whatever by reading about
good use and application of makeup. (It might even benefit
us to be aware of the full capabilities of the enemy {j/k}.)
August 19, 2016 6:36 am at 6:36 am #1178217HappygirlygirlMemberComlink x – I agree buddy but maybe other people will be brought to inappropriate thoughts…idk really.its crazy how objectification (if thats a real word ) of women has gotten so out of hand that a stupid eye pencil will make them think stuff…..
Wow, you two seem to be kvetching l’vatala. I did not say it was inappropriate, I said I didn’t think it was appropriate for this group. Meaning that most here wouldn’t be interested, and I felt it was not necessary for you to give explicit detail about yourself. Please don’t make assumptions about why things are deleted and edited, and don’t take it so personally.
August 19, 2016 7:32 am at 7:32 am #1178218☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantI said I didn’t think it was appropriate for this group. Meaning that most here wouldn’t be interested
Should I be surprised that so many of my posts get through? 🙂
August 19, 2016 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm #1178219HappygirlygirlMemberIt’s such a shame there’s no voice notes you would be able to see that im laughing throughout alot of my posts….and kvetching livatala ….it was in middle of the night and i have strep
August 21, 2016 4:23 am at 4:23 am #1178220yehudayonaParticipantKreplach eyes?
September 6, 2016 11:50 pm at 11:50 pm #1178221Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantI just got the answer to the eyeshadow question according to Rav Leff. You can look it up on his website. A girl asked him the same question – is eyeshadow assur because of what it says in Yeshayahu.
He answers that the problem in the days of Yeshayahu was that they were wearing eyeshadow in a gaudy fashion. If you wear it in a gaudy fashion, it’s for sure assur. If you wear it moderately, then it depends on the custom in your community.
September 9, 2016 2:43 am at 2:43 am #1178223SparklyMemberHappygirlygirl – i dont even know if guys think girls are cute in headbands so headbands are VERY MUCH tznius i think guys might not even like headbands which makes them even more tznius but i could be wrong i should ask a guy which i will h’h!
September 9, 2016 2:45 am at 2:45 am #1178224SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – i HATE perform! so get rid of it would also be my answer!
September 9, 2016 2:46 am at 2:46 am #1178225SparklyMemberRebYidd23 – makeup for fun!! NOT to make me look scary lol.
September 9, 2016 2:49 am at 2:49 am #1178226SparklyMembergolfer – i agree. because thats how halachos get made up!!
September 9, 2016 2:50 am at 2:50 am #1178227SparklyMemberComlink-X – of the enemies? i hope not!
September 9, 2016 2:52 am at 2:52 am #1178228SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – since i DIDNT even know there could be tznius issues with eyeshadow i guess im a tinok shenishba when it comes to that.
September 9, 2016 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1178229Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantGolfer – I wasn’t poskening halacha. I was giving personal advice, something I am qualified to do at least in certain circumstances. As someone who has been learning and teaching for many years, I can often sense when advice is needed as opposed to a halachic psak.
The Rav whom I quoted is not a posek – he is someone who is qualified to give advice as I am, only he is slightly older and more experienced than I am. When I am in a situation where I think it is important to give someone advice and I have to decide what and how to say to them, I often do think about how my mentors have advised me and the hashkafic worldview that I have learned from them and use that as a basis for deciding how to advise others. This is what anyone in a teaching/mentoring position should be doing.
I was not “having fun” when I answered her question. I answered her question because I felt that it was extremely important that I answer her in the way that I did. I thought very carefully about every word that I wrote and there were reasons for every word.
Enough said. I can not explain any further.
September 9, 2016 3:33 am at 3:33 am #1178230Lilmod UlelamaidParticipant“You begin by quoting what a poseik told you, namely, “Hashem doesn’t want us to be depressed,” in a discussion about text messaging. Then you extrapolate from this statement what your Rav would say about eye shadow.”
You quote me completely incorrectly:
1. I never referred to him as a poseik.
2. I never said anything about what he would say about eye shadow.
What I said was that he would tell her to wear makeup. And yes, I do know that he would say that.
September 9, 2016 3:50 am at 3:50 am #1178232SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – but on here you make your self sound like a teacher who knows lots of halacha and no science.
September 9, 2016 3:56 am at 3:56 am #1178233Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSparkly – that’s true, but my original advice to HGG wasn’t meant as a psak halacha – it was meant as advice.
September 9, 2016 3:56 am at 3:56 am #1178234HappygirlygirlMemberSparkly – I’m gonna teach u something. ..you can never say things like “guys don’t like headbands” or “guys like tall girls ” people in general (male/female) are attracted to different things and i don’t think you should go to some guy and ask if he finds something attractive that like both appropriate and also I don’t wear perfume for you so I won’t stop because u don’t like it.
September 9, 2016 4:04 am at 4:04 am #1178235SparklyMemberHappygirlygirl – but it stinks and i can smell it and it bothers me.
September 9, 2016 4:07 am at 4:07 am #1178237Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHGG – maskim. I would also add that even if guys don’t like something, that doesn’t necessarily make it tznius.
September 9, 2016 4:15 am at 4:15 am #1178238SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – did i say that? i was meaning to say that if guy DONT like something it means that its NOT possible to go out of your way and wear that for him to make it untznius since he DONT like it.
September 9, 2016 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #1178239MDGParticipant“…people in general (male/female) are attracted to different things …”
IMHO, people are attracted to what looks healthy. Makeup can give a healthier look. Foundation, for example, helps the skin look smooth and even colored. That looks more healthy than blemishes and splotches, and experiments have shown that people find smooth skin to be more attractive. Lipstick and Rouge look like good blood and circulation. Etc.
September 10, 2016 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #1178240Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSparkly, I’m still not sure what you are saying exactly. In any case, my point was that one should not assume that something is okay just because guys don’t like it. If that’s not what you said, then I’m sorry for misunderstanding you.
I copied and pasted your words below. It very much sounds like you are saying that since guys don’t like headbands, they are tznius. If that is not what you meant, gread.
“i dont even know if guys think girls are cute in headbands so headbands are VERY MUCH tznius i think guys might not even like headbands which makes them even more tznius”
September 11, 2016 1:30 am at 1:30 am #1178241SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – i meant that heabands are tznius. NOT meaning just because guys dont like something its tznius.
September 11, 2016 1:57 am at 1:57 am #1178242👑RebYidd23ParticipantMen are not attracted to women who wear burlap bags as dresses and use garlic scented mouthwash.
September 11, 2016 2:25 am at 2:25 am #1178243Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantWhich doesn’t necessarily make it tznius.
September 11, 2016 2:31 am at 2:31 am #1178244SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – exactly what i was going to say.
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