Home › Forums › Life Stories › My Rebbi ZT"L was niftar and I'm lost
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January 14, 2014 4:06 am at 4:06 am #611844yoseMember
The only rebbi I’ve had for any kind of guidance was niftar. I was extremely close to him for almost 20 years with him guiding me in virtually every major and minor life decision. I now have no one else I am close to that comes even remotely close to that relationship. Sure I have a shul rov and a posek who answers routine shailos. But as much as I love and respect them, and accept their routine direction, I don’t feel that strong kesher. There is virtually no one that I could call anytime of the day or evening about events large or small that I desperately need guidance on. A rebbi that I am close to. In short, I am completely lost.
January 14, 2014 5:18 am at 5:18 am #998265ronrsrMembervery sorry for your loss.
January 14, 2014 9:46 am at 9:46 am #998266amichaiParticipantalso very sorry for your loss.
January 14, 2014 1:06 pm at 1:06 pm #998267OfcourseMemberSorry as well. But its comforting to hear that there potentially are/were others besides R’ Blumenkrantz a”h who people other than family members have/had a real kesher with. Since his death I feel orphaned. Suggestions anyone?
January 14, 2014 1:44 pm at 1:44 pm #998268DaMosheParticipantIt says Asei L’cha Rav – so get yourself a new Rav!
I once heard that when the Chofetz Chaim was niftar, R’ Elchonan zt”l went to R’ Baruch Ber zt”l and said his Rebbe was niftar, so he wanted R’ Baruch Ber to be his new Rebbe!
Find yourself a new Rebbe to guide you. Obviously you should feel the loss of your previous Rebbe, but you should not go on without one.
January 14, 2014 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm #998269yoseMemberThe question is how does one “find yourself a new Rebbe”. You can’t start with the yellow pages. And even after you find someone you previously had no kesher with, can you start calling him and/or visiting him twice or more every week for guidance?
Thanks all.
January 14, 2014 3:24 pm at 3:24 pm #998270gavra_at_workParticipantThe question is how does one “find yourself a new Rebbe”.
Without knowing any specifics, I assume your Rebbe had his own Rebbe, who had many Talmidim. That’s where I would start, with a talmid of your Rebbe’s Rebbe who has a similar outlook in life.
January 14, 2014 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #998271cherrybimParticipantStart with your Rebbe’s son, if he is in the parsha.
January 14, 2014 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm #998272DaMosheParticipantyose, you’re correct, it isn’t easy. A kesher isn’t something that comes instantly. It can take years to form a real kesher.
Part of mourning is realizing what we’ve lost. We are supposed to mourn for a Rebbe muvhak just like for a relative – we tear keriyah for it! Just like you can’t replace a parent, you can’t replace a Rebbe.
I think gavra had some good advice. A talmid from the same rebbe as your rebbe would be a good idea, or a talmid muvhak of your rebbe.
Hatzlochah!
January 14, 2014 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #998273a maminParticipantUnfortunately, been there….. No one can replace the previous dor. BUT it is very important to find a new Rebbe or you will be lost!
May we only hear besiras tovos in Klal Yisroel.
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