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This was the first year in the past four that I stayed up learning the entire night. In the last few years, I would nap from about 10:00 to 10:30 before getting up to learn the rest of the night. This year, thanks to the naps I had on Shabbos afternoon, my early evening nap was not necessary. Of course this makes me guilty of preparing on Shabbos for Sunday, a forbidden act. So, I imagine that any learning I did that night was probably worthless as it came about through an aveira.
In addition, this was the first Shavuous night that I can recall where I did not crack open a Gemara the entire evening. Just about the entire evening (aside from time I spent preparing the laining for Shacharis) was spent learning Hilchos Shabbos in the Chayei Adam. Of course, according to some, the fact that it wasn’t Gemara doesn’t really qualify it as learning* anyway, so it could just as easily be said that I spent the entire night just wasting my time.
I also found out from a prominent Rav in my community over Yom Tov that because I was not happy over Yom Tov, I am no different than someone who does not eat Matzah on Pesach, or sit in a sukkah on Succos and so on. In some ways, it’s kind of sobering to think that my entire avoda on Yom Tov is worthless because I wasn’t happy and fulfilling the mitzvah of “V’Samachta.” It’s as if I never kept Yom Tov at all.
The Wolf
* True story: in high school, I was told that learning Chumash (or any “easier” subject) when one could be learning Gemara is bittul Torah based on the halacha in Hilchos Purim which says that we are m’vatel Talmud Torah to listen to the megillah.
Come on. You weren’t happy once over yomtov?
well then, i guess i didn’t ‘keep’ yomtov either.
and i know many ppl say the same thing about. and they may be right. and they may be wrong.
& I spent most of the chag studying Neuropsych…I’m really going to hell. See ya wolfie!
Wolf, it looks like were in the same situation. On Shabbos afternoon i slept from after Shalosh Seudos (about 3pm) until Ma’ariv, and i stayed up all night but instead of sitting in Shul learning, i sat on the ambulance for most of the night which some consider to be a waste of time.
I don’t think that anyone would say that working saving lives is a waste of time.
You’d be surprised with some of the stuff I’ve been told over the years.
“Not learning at night on Shavuous will not land you in hell. Heck, everyone staying up all night learning is a (relatively) recent phenomenon.”
Hey, i’m a woman so I don’t even have the mitzvah to stay up and learn, but considering that I was up studying a secular subject will probably earn me “points”..
Hey Wolf,
Learning is learning. Stop beating yourself up and dragging everyone else along with you for the ride. It’s getting kind of tired and boring.
What I really mean is give yourself some slack and please try to find some way to be kind to yourself. If you view yourself with such negativity, how do you expect others to treat you?
Please….. try your absolute hardest to make yourself have a great day!! 🙂
WolfishMusings:- I don’t comprehend how this was your 1st time in 4 years rather than in 14 years? that you were up overnite, since last time that Shovu’os came out with Yaknehaz, was 14 years ago.
Being up overnite is lofty, and having studied Chaye Odom Hilchos Shabbos was effectively studying the 4th commandment which is leined on Shvu’os, so this is great.
But as an aside, the only Mitzwah [nowadys without Shtei haLechem nor Bikurim] prescribed by the Torah for Shovu’os other than no Meleches Avodo & Mikro Kodesh, is “vSomachto Lifne etc.” as leined on 2nd morning of Shovu’os, hence Simchas Yom Tov overrides Shovu’os nite up, if these are going to end up being 2 mutually exclusive events.
Maybe some cheesecake will solve this dilemma in future years?
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