Names in Shidduchim….

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  • #597833

    So someone suggested a girl for me, Parents told me the info, only thing they didnt tell me was the name. they did all their checking and called me to say it sounds very good. they gave me all that they heard and told me the final decision is mine. then they told me the name of the girl and my immediate internal reaction was, “thats a funny name!” is this a reason for me to say no, cause i dont like her name?? i dunno what to do!

    #783904

    Pac-Man
    Member

    What’s her name?

    #783905

    gregaaron
    Member

    Is it a reason to say no originally? Probably not. But if you go out with her a couple of times, and the name still bothers you, then it’s probably a good idea to say no.

    #783906

    real-brisker
    Member

    A) If you like her maybe the name will not matter, B) You can give her a nickname C} You can add a name.

    #783907

    but is it bad to go into something knowing there is already an issue no matter how insignificant

    #783908

    kapusta
    Participant

    Like RB said, if it works out, the name will become a non-issue. Another thing, most people have “something”. A name that takes some getting used to is probably the best “something” you can get.

    Was the name Joseph? ? JK

    *kapusta*

    YES! AND MODS ARE SHADCHAN!

    #783909

    L613
    Member

    Go out with her. Names are not a reason to say no.

    #783910

    oomis
    Participant

    No, it is NOT a reason. You can eventually call her something else, if it really bothers you (Sweetheart, comes to mind). If her name is really appalling, why should she have to suffer twice a) because her parents gave her a bad name that she has been forced to live with all her life and b) because it might prevent shidduchim. Go out with her. if you like each other, it will be a great story someday. Shakespeare said it best, “What’s in a name? That which we call a “rose,” by any other name would smell as sweet.”

    #783911

    real-brisker
    Member

    kapusta – You mean Yosefa? 😉

    #783912

    Pac-Man
    Member

    C’mon, Shprintza isn’t all that bad… And besides, you can call her Shprintzie.

    #783913

    real-brisker
    Member

    Pac-Man – Well duh, you probaly don’t think Joseph is bad either! 😉

    #783915

    WIY
    Member

    If all the info is good and only the name bothers you then at least go out once. Then if you find that she’s not for you at least you have a valid reason to say no.

    #783916

    kapusta
    Participant

    RB: No, I meant Joseph. Yosefa isn’t so common (at least not around here) but how many girls do you know named Joseph?

    *kapusta*

    #783917

    I married someone with a funny name and I’m proud of it! In the beginning my family and I would make fun of it but once the dating got serious, not only did I not mind it, I actually liked it.

    It was a refreshing change for me though- I have a very common first and last (maiden) name and I know a whole bunch of people with the same exact name as me. My husband is the only one I know with that name

    #783918

    smartcookie
    Member

    Jopseh isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s quite a common name(at least here in the CR)! 🙂

    #783919

    um
    Member

    No one is perfect if she has a name and that’s all that’s bothering you then “Ashriecha”

    #783921

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    A shadchan once had a girl from me but warned us that her first name is … Goldie. I’m not so sure what is wrong with that name.

    I might be mixing her up with another girl (I didn’t end up going out with her) but the shadchan warned that she’s a red head, “but she’s willing to buy a different color sheital if it really bothers you”.

    My wife jokingly said that in the coming generation there will be many girls named Goldie, short for Golden Palace Casino dot com, the gambling website known for buying the rights on eBay to name an expectant mothers’ child.

    #783922

    real-brisker
    Member

    kapusta – And a girl named Joseph is even less common!

    #783923

    A name is what you make of it. Reb Kaplan(of Bais Yakov H.S.) A”H, whose first name was Vichna has many carrying her name proudly. What about Falla,Gala, Babchi,Trany are but a few names people give proudly and is very accepted. Don’t let a name stop you! Keep us posted!

    #783924

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    I have a cousin named Glidah. Chassidish family. I think she was named after someone Gedaliah. She is married to a Chassidish man. The most-far-out I’ve heard recently, is my neighbor who is more Mizrachi, named their BOY who was born on or around Tu Bishvat “Shkaydiah Porach(at)” I predict years of therapy for that one!

    #783925

    adorable
    Participant

    I would say try dating her and if it still bothers you after, say, three dates then drop it but you might find yourself getting used to it.

    #783926

    morahmom
    Participant

    The popularity of certain names tends to go in cycles. When I was much younger, Yiddish names were not at all common in many circles, and at best were given as a middle name not to be used until the ksuba was filled out! Now most Yiddish names are completely accepted and embraced by most segments of society, and I predict that its only a matter of time before “Shprintza” is accorded its place of honor.

    #783927

    tomim tihye
    Member

    No, you should not meet her. She is not your bashert.

    #783928

    s2021
    Member

    “but is it bad to go into something knowing there is already an issue no matter how insignificant”

    Rabbi G-when u find a someone with zero downsides let me know.

    Untill then, Im goin to laugh that u think it is possible to find a perfect girl with zero issues no matter how insignificant.

    Btw- funny story- I know someone who’s wife has a really awkward name. (hes sefardic- her name is yiddish) everytime he gets a brachah at shul 4 her (and ther married 20+ years now) He calls her “Ishti” She fuuuuumes..lol

    #783929

    bpt
    Participant

    I know a Kraindy, and a Nendy (short for Genendl). They are just as lively as the Dassys, Rifkys and Laychus of the world.

    Go for it.

    (BTW, does anyone know of a 2nd Vichna? To the best of my knowledge, that name is only heard in connection with Rebbitzin Kaplan)

    #783930

    umm
    Member

    Ms. Critique: Actually Reb. Kaplan asked in her will that no one name after her, she didn’t want anyone to suffer from their name. Every time I hear of a Vichna, I can’t understand it.

    (Even if she wouldn’t have written this, never give a child a name you yourself wouldn’t want to be called.)

    #783931

    Pac-Man
    Member

    What is wrong with Vichna?

    #783932

    adorable
    Participant

    nothing wrong with it just not a very common name

    #783933

    gefen
    Participant

    I had Rebbetzin Kaplan as a teacher. While I had never heard the name Vichna before, she certainly glorified the name. Imagine if nobody had given her respect b/c of her name. Imagine if her husband would have said “I don’t like her name, I’m not marrying her”.

    whatrutalkingabt- i hope ur husband doesn’t know ur screen name 🙂

    rebbe gershon – sounds kinda shallow to me to turn someone down cuz of her name. does her name mean something bad? or is it just a name you don’t like?

    we have cousins in israel named; ayelet hashachar, shaked moria, kana tzion, and tzofia hadassa – and they are all adorable.

    #783934

    thanx all for your opinions!

    #783935

    Pac-Man
    Member

    Gershie – please tell us how the date went with her!

    #783936

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Try your best to see past what is, you’ll agree, a completely superficial issue.

    #783937

    adorable
    Participant

    Every shidduch has a catch and every person has “something” that’s not so “perfect” about them- at least with her its so obvious and you know what it is that you are going to have to look past while so many other people find out after its too late.

    Hope all goes well. Please keep us updated.

    #783938

    ado. i definitely will!

    #783939

    charliehall
    Participant

    “is this a reason for me to say no, cause i dont like her name?? “

    Absolutely not! If you keep waiting for the perfect person, you will never get married.

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