October 7, 2012 6:46 am at 6:46 am #605125October 7, 2012 7:18 am at 7:18 am #898718CuriosityParticipant
Are you looking for his flaws because you pick up on something that you can’t quite put your finger on, or is it because you are just scared of creating an emotional attachment? Either way, he for sure has flaws- everyone does, the only question is, do you feel they are flaws you can live with, or ones that you cannot? If you cannot detect his flaws then either he is really good at hiding them, or they just don’t bother you. Stop being so judgmental and just try to get to know the guy better… Also, have a good time – nobody likes being interrogated.October 7, 2012 9:36 am at 9:36 am #898719menucha12Member
trying to find something wrong with him is pretty normal try to get to know him more
there is NO solid advice in shidduchim in the end it really is up to you and hashem
everyone has some flaw or another
dating (in my opinion) is trying to find the person with flaws you feel you can handle and/or even be happy with
when in doubt daven hashem wont let you down in the end anything he does will be what is right for you
good luckOctober 7, 2012 10:34 am at 10:34 am #898720popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Say more about the times he makes you want to go home and avoid being with him.October 7, 2012 11:26 am at 11:26 am #898721myls87Member
If you have “real” friends, why would you base such a huge life decision on the opinions of a blog by people who know nothing about you?October 7, 2012 2:12 pm at 2:12 pm #898722YITZCHOK2Participant
Honesty is the best policy- tell the boy what you are feeling. If he can’t deal with your feelings he is not for you- if he can deal with them he might allay all your fears! Good luck!October 7, 2012 2:25 pm at 2:25 pm #898723
There were many instances of silence, this was something that happened before but it was weird for me since I feel that at this stage of dating we shouldn’t really be digging in our heads to find a topic of conversation since we don’t have anything to really say. I suppose there is a possibility that I’m more slower to make an emotional attachment since I have been dating for 5 years and due to other factors and things that have come up.October 7, 2012 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm #898724MeemaYehudisMember
There is nothing wrong with times of silence, unless they make you uncomfortable. One doesn’t have to keep on talking when there’s nothing to say!
If the silences are very prolonged, or are uncomfortable, try discussing something you heard in a shiur.
Hatzlocha!October 7, 2012 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm #898725avhabenParticipant
Many guys are just the quiet type. Peaceful silence, while being together, is exactly what makes us tick.October 7, 2012 3:47 pm at 3:47 pm #898726147Participant
Do you wish to settle down & get married? or do you wish to investigate everything to the nth degree from the vantage point of the old spinster?
Although I read your 1st post with interest, but when on your 2nd posting you mentioned that you have been dating for 1/2 decade, this raised a flag & for your good, I am startling you wish my blunt question, as probably no-one has ever been so blunt with you.October 7, 2012 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #898727MediumThinkerMember
As a guy who is dating I often have moments of silence. Most guys have no training in having a nonstop conversation for 3-5 hours. It is unnatural for many men to have a nonstop fluid one on one conversation with even someone they love. I think you should take that into account and that most of your married life (I’m guessing, I’m still single) will not be spent on 5 hour conversations.October 7, 2012 4:29 pm at 4:29 pm #898728YITZCHOK2Participant
Talk to the guy!
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