Ner Yisrael

tzippi, I think the opposite!

A person needs his sense of dependency at this time, and not stuck to his parents!

I’ve been to Beis Medrash in Ner Yisrael and it’s good if you don’t mind a big place (the rebbeim in the beis medrash are great, but I don’t know that much about the mesivta)

mbachur- What do you mean you’ve been there? If you learnt there, you didn’t stay too long. Anybody who knows anything about NIRC knows they call the high school – Mechina, not Mesivta!

To Mbachur: I beg to differ. I can definitely quote Rabbi Orlowek on this, and he is not a daas yachid. He says that it is so crucial for kids – yes, boys – to be home during these critical years that assuming that they are living in a stable loving home, it might be better for them to be in a local yeshiva that is not so perfect rather than out of town at a perfect yeshiva. Of course, there is the caveat that this is just a mehalech and eitza tova, and the decision should be made carefully by the parents in conjunction with his rebbeim who know him.

We’ve been spoiled. Our local yeshiva is minutes away and there’ve been times I’ve barely seen my boys till Shabbos. And they do their own laundry, to boot, so they are getting some valuable skills, are they not?

P.S. Sense of dependency?

We’ve been spoiled. Our local yeshiva is minutes away and there’ve been times I’ve barely seen my boys till Shabbos. And they do their own laundry, to boot, so they are getting some valuable skills, are they not?

P.S. Sense of dependency?

I’ve seen people in “In town” yeshivas staying in the dorms and when they can’t interact with other kids, then “they just sleep at home” which is what they probably want, but it doesn’t teach them how to deal with problems, running away isn’t an option

Should kids be home for high school?

Maybe it depends what’s going on at home.

Do you have a good relationship with your kids. With your spouse?

Since when did sending kids away – and I’m talking about living NOW, not in the times of whenever, because Heaven knows we don’t do everything else exactly as they did then – become a lechatchila for kids in the late 5700s?

So Arc, let’s go back to the lechatchila days of hevei megaleh and totally kick our boys out of the nest to maximize your growth. Is that what you propose? Think it’s healthy from a chinuch POV?

I lived out of town and learned at Ner Israel for five years. I did my best learning after I left.

I agree with Tzippi. I’ve seen many good boys go bad when going away to an out of town Yeshiva; it’s not home and there can be no substitute for family life in terms of turning out normal. If you are a future gadole hador, maybe; but that’s not going to happen in most American yeshivas anymore.

Most of the best bachrim I see today are living at home through high school and beyond. Ner Israel, Telshe, etc. filled a need when there were few other yeshivas, today that’s changed and there is considerable talent elsewhere.

cherrybim are you impying that good boys go bad if they go out of town but not if they stay in town? (you are implying it but did you mean to)

In my day, most out of town yeshivas would virtually ignore any boy who wasn’t at the uppermost part of the shiur. Many bochrim seeking acceptance, like today, would end up in a situation where they would be thrown out and there went the frumkeit.

Yeshivas do not follow the shita of the Rambam who holds that once a bocher is accepted into a Yeshiva and this bocher fails in any way, it is the obligation of the Yeshiva to work on him until he can be mainstreamed back into the Yeshiva regimen. Unfortunately, most problem bochrim are surgically removed from the yeshiva and the Yeshiva thus maintains its holy impersonation.

Bochrim who have learned to impersonate are those who have an easier time getting shidduchim, but not necessarily maintaining marriages.

Bochrim need outlets and their emotional needs today cannot always be displaced by additional learning. This is where family support and interaction are advantages.

To mbachur:

Two words: cell phone. Another two: phone card. Another few: toll free home phone number. There are possibilities.

So the scenario I see is, rebbe sees boy may have problem.

In town rebbe thinks: I can ignore this, he has his parents. Heck, I don’t even need to share my reservations with anyone.

Out of town rebbe thinks: I must not ignore this because this boy is far, far from home, and I have been invested with the sacred charge of en loco parentis.

I get it now.

In town rebbe thinks: I can ignore this, he has his parents. Heck, I don’t even need to share my reservations with anyone.

Out of town rebbe thinks: I must not ignore this because this boy is far, far from home, and I have been invested with the sacred charge of en loco parentis.

I don’t get your pretexts, personally i feel a rebbe will focus on an out of town bachur more than an in-towner

MB, I see you’ve never been a thirteen-fifteen year old bocher in an out of town yeshiva; and you still need to mature some.

What r the intown yeshivos that u heard about, I can definitely tell u what ur looking for

cherrybim,

may i personally ask,

what caused you to attack my maturity?

what do you call part in town part out of town?

Is ner yisrael considered that (has a lot of boys from baltimore)?

what’s a full out of town yeshiva?

mbachur

Alaska is out of town Lchol Hadeiyos.

exactly, mbachur

very funny though

Yeshivish Kofer: I went to NIRC for Beis Medrash and learned with boys in the high school during their early night seder, so my knowledge of the secular education in the high school is probably not as great as yours. However, I went to other, more yeshivish places for high school, and the secular education there was far, far worse.

This topic is a year old so I don’t know how relevant it is anymore, but one thing that Ner Yisrael and a few similar yeshivas have that the newer, smaller yeshivas don’t have is a sense that they are completely responsible for the bachurim in torah, middos, and gashmius. I live in Lakewood, and the way the most of the high schools here treat their boys is an utter disaster. There can be one rebbi and maybe a (unpaid) shoel umayshiv for 40 boys in 9th grade. Nobody knows where the boys are when they’re not in yeshiva, nobody gives any hadracha outside of the Gemara and periodic jeremiads about tzioinim, ipods, and lubavitch. This leads to bachurim hitching across town at all hours, essentially no education at all, religious or secular, for the boys who are not at the top of the class, and no knowledge of what your kid is eating, who his friends are, or how he is developing.

Contrast Ner Yisrael, where there is are different level shiurim within each grade, there are dorm counselors, dorm supervisors, older chavrusas, English teachers etc. for each kid in the mechina. The secular studies may not be great, but someone will know if you aren’t showing up. There are at least tests and evaluations.

In Ner Yisrael, the boys go to the rebbeims houses for oneg shabbos, they see the rebbeim (and yungeleit) interacting with their wives and families regularly. They have kosher outlets on campus, like a baseball field, a basketball court, and even a band. If your son goes to Ner Yisroel, you will not find out that he has been going to shalom zachors of complete strangers every Friday night. You won’t find out that he has not had a one-on-one conversation with an authority figure for nine months straight. You won’t find out that he ate shabbos meals in the dorm because the yeshiva didn’t provide meals, relying on the boys to find families to eat with. These are all things that happen regularly in the young, in-town yeshivas.

If there are parents out there who are comparing Ner Yisrael to the types of yeshivas that a peer student might go to in Lakewood or Brooklyn – usually small yeshivas that haven’t been around very long, there is almost no question that your child will be safer and get a better Jewish and secular education at Ner Yisrael.

“they do not have a serious secular studies program.”

Why is this not loshon hara?

@MW13: There is more than one mitzvah in the Torah. Perhaps he’s saving Ner Yisroel from taking someone’s money on false pretenses and having to come back in another gilgul.

Perhaps he’s saving Ner Yisroel from taking someone’s money on false pretenses and having to come back in another gilgul.

Which other yeshiva is most likely to be ner israel’s gilgul?

t is loshon hara to say that a yeshiva has secular studies. By saying a yeshiva has secular studies you are saying that they waste many hours.

Are you living in some type of alternate universe? Is there a problem that perhaps the yeshiva wants their talmidim to be responsible adults who can actually support their families, not living off the shver, the shvigger, WIC, and welfare?