Ner Yisrael

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  • #593248
    L613
    Member

    We are looking into mesivtas for our son for next year. We want a place that has a strong emphasis on learning, but still has a good secular education. We know about two schools in the New York area, but someone recently mentioned Ner Yisrael.

    Does anyone know anything about Ner Yisrael? The types of boys who go there?

    Thanks!

    #899564
    tzippi
    Member

    Please don’t think I’m casting any kind of aspersions on Ner Israel but before sending your son away, anywhere, think: are there decent options locally? If he goes, can you bring him home/travel to visit him often? Do you have people there who will have his back to some degree, e.g. family, old friends, etc.?

    #899566
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    tzippi, I think the opposite!

    A person needs his sense of dependency at this time, and not stuck to his parents!

    I’ve been to Beis Medrash in Ner Yisrael and it’s good if you don’t mind a big place (the rebbeim in the beis medrash are great, but I don’t know that much about the mesivta)

    #899567
    charliehall
    Participant

    How old is your son?

    #899568
    Health
    Participant

    mbachur- What do you mean you’ve been there? If you learnt there, you didn’t stay too long. Anybody who knows anything about NIRC knows they call the high school – Mechina, not Mesivta!

    #899569
    Health
    Participant

    L613 -Who told you NIRC has a good secular education? The learning is ok, but I don’t think the English dept. is so great. Just because they allow you to attend college, doesn’t mean they have a great secular high school.

    #899570
    tzippi
    Member

    To Mbachur: I beg to differ. I can definitely quote Rabbi Orlowek on this, and he is not a daas yachid. He says that it is so crucial for kids – yes, boys – to be home during these critical years that assuming that they are living in a stable loving home, it might be better for them to be in a local yeshiva that is not so perfect rather than out of town at a perfect yeshiva. Of course, there is the caveat that this is just a mehalech and eitza tova, and the decision should be made carefully by the parents in conjunction with his rebbeim who know him.

    We’ve been spoiled. Our local yeshiva is minutes away and there’ve been times I’ve barely seen my boys till Shabbos. And they do their own laundry, to boot, so they are getting some valuable skills, are they not?

    P.S. Sense of dependency?

    #899571
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    thank you health you are right,

    the problem is I went to a mesivta for high school therefore i inadvertantly called it mesivta

    I was only there for beis medrash like I stated above and had little or no shaychis to the mechina (as stated above)

    #899572
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    We’ve been spoiled. Our local yeshiva is minutes away and there’ve been times I’ve barely seen my boys till Shabbos. And they do their own laundry, to boot, so they are getting some valuable skills, are they not?

    P.S. Sense of dependency?

    I’ve seen people in “In town” yeshivas staying in the dorms and when they can’t interact with other kids, then “they just sleep at home” which is what they probably want, but it doesn’t teach them how to deal with problems, running away isn’t an option

    #899573
    arc
    Participant

    NIRC is a good yeshiva if you are looking for that type.

    When you compare NIRC to other yeshivos they have a good english dept.

    NIRC is expensive and as mentioned doesnt have a lot of time off to be home.

    #899574
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Should kids be home for high school?

    Maybe it depends what’s going on at home.

    Do you have a good relationship with your kids. With your spouse?

    #899575
    myfriend
    Member

    Kids from the best of homes go out of town for high school. It helps remove distractions to their learning.

    #899576
    tzippi
    Member

    Since when did sending kids away – and I’m talking about living NOW, not in the times of whenever, because Heaven knows we don’t do everything else exactly as they did then – become a lechatchila for kids in the late 5700s?

    #899577
    arc
    Participant

    when did it become not lechatchila is the better question?

    If you can handle being out of town, then by all means you should go to the best school, for you.

    #899578
    tzippi
    Member

    So Arc, let’s go back to the lechatchila days of hevei megaleh and totally kick our boys out of the nest to maximize your growth. Is that what you propose? Think it’s healthy from a chinuch POV?

    #899579
    arc
    Participant

    your question was when did it become lechatchilah, my response was it still is lechatchila or when did it change. from my experience (only 15 years ago) it should still be lechatchila on some level.

    out of town doesnt have to be hours away where you can only come twice a year. it can be relatively close where you come home often enough*.

    #899580
    cherrybim
    Participant

    I lived out of town and learned at Ner Israel for five years. I did my best learning after I left.

    I agree with Tzippi. I’ve seen many good boys go bad when going away to an out of town Yeshiva; it’s not home and there can be no substitute for family life in terms of turning out normal. If you are a future gadole hador, maybe; but that’s not going to happen in most American yeshivas anymore.

    Most of the best bachrim I see today are living at home through high school and beyond. Ner Israel, Telshe, etc. filled a need when there were few other yeshivas, today that’s changed and there is considerable talent elsewhere.

    #899581
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    cherry so are you saying that a person from “out of town” (a place that there is no high school) has a disadvantage to shteiging (or not going off the derech) than does one that doesn’t

    #899582
    arc
    Participant

    cherrybim are you impying that good boys go bad if they go out of town but not if they stay in town? (you are implying it but did you mean to)

    #899583
    tzippi
    Member

    I just want to clarify, maybe I shouldn’t have used the word lechatchila, as if, if someone doesn’t do that, they are doing a bedeived. Maybe I should have used the word “given”, as in, since when did it become a given to send our boys away.

    Yes, it’s always been done, but you know the saying Apples from the tree? That’s only so long as there’s not a strong wind. We’re living in stormy times where in we much constantly get feedback and evaluate THROUGH THE CLEAR LENS OF THE TORAH, of course, and getting reality checks from those who can see most clearly. If each person asks his own question – and isn’t that as old as being mechanech each child al pi darko? – we’ll all be in good shape.

    #899584
    cherrybim
    Participant

    In my day, most out of town yeshivas would virtually ignore any boy who wasn’t at the uppermost part of the shiur. Many bochrim seeking acceptance, like today, would end up in a situation where they would be thrown out and there went the frumkeit.

    Yeshivas do not follow the shita of the Rambam who holds that once a bocher is accepted into a Yeshiva and this bocher fails in any way, it is the obligation of the Yeshiva to work on him until he can be mainstreamed back into the Yeshiva regimen. Unfortunately, most problem bochrim are surgically removed from the yeshiva and the Yeshiva thus maintains its holy impersonation.

    Bochrim who have learned to impersonate are those who have an easier time getting shidduchim, but not necessarily maintaining marriages.

    Bochrim need outlets and their emotional needs today cannot always be displaced by additional learning. This is where family support and interaction are advantages.

    #899585
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Bochrim who have learned to impersonate are those who have an easier time getting shidduchim, but not necessarily maintaining marriages.

    Bochrim need outlets and their emotional needs today cannot always be displaced by additional learning. This is where family support and interaction are advantages.

    You’re talking about a yeshiva bachur not a seminary girl, right?

    teenage boys as a klal don’t talk to their parents about their problems, this is where a rebbe steps in, but if your in town not neccisarily will a rebbe step in because you have your parents to “talk” to

    #899586
    tzippi
    Member

    To mbachur:

    Two words: cell phone. Another two: phone card. Another few: toll free home phone number. There are possibilities.

    So the scenario I see is, rebbe sees boy may have problem.

    In town rebbe thinks: I can ignore this, he has his parents. Heck, I don’t even need to share my reservations with anyone.

    Out of town rebbe thinks: I must not ignore this because this boy is far, far from home, and I have been invested with the sacred charge of en loco parentis.

    I get it now.

    #899587
    cherrybim
    Participant

    Tzippi, halavai… but that’s not the reality. A young bocher is much more vulnerable in an out of town yeshiva compared with the protection of a home environment. The details are for the mature who know and not for this medium.

    #899588
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    In town rebbe thinks: I can ignore this, he has his parents. Heck, I don’t even need to share my reservations with anyone.

    Out of town rebbe thinks: I must not ignore this because this boy is far, far from home, and I have been invested with the sacred charge of en loco parentis.

    I don’t get your pretexts, personally i feel a rebbe will focus on an out of town bachur more than an in-towner

    #899589
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    A young bocher is much more vulnerable in an out of town yeshiva compared with the protection of a home environment.

    maybe people should never leave home, marry their next door neighbor and live in their parents basement!

    whenever a bachur is released from his “protection” he becomes vulnerable because he won’t learn to be independant until he needs to and then it might be too late

    #899590
    cherrybim
    Participant

    MB, I see you’ve never been a thirteen-fifteen year old bocher in an out of town yeshiva; and you still need to mature some.

    #899591
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I have been to an “out of town” yeshiva (at least for me it was) (most of the people there were in-towners)

    Have you?

    and i see your comment is very mature

    #899592
    HIE
    Participant

    What r the intown yeshivos that u heard about, I can definitely tell u what ur looking for

    #899593
    Jersey Jew
    Participant

    You need to ask yourself if that is the derech you are on and if thats the derech you want your kids on. Sometimes parents dont think of those important things.

    #899594
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    cherrybim,

    may i personally ask,

    what caused you to attack my maturity?

    #899595
    arc
    Participant

    I think a yeshiva that is part in town and part out of town isnt so comparable to a full out of town yeshiva and isnt ideal.

    I went out of town at 14 and it worked well for me. I wouldnt want to send my sons at that age but not because I think it’s a problem to go at that age.

    #899596
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    what do you call part in town part out of town?

    Is ner yisrael considered that (has a lot of boys from baltimore)?

    what’s a full out of town yeshiva?

    #899597
    arc
    Participant

    mbachur you said you went to a school part and part. Ner Yisroel isnt because I believe even the locals have to dorm. even if they dont dorm it is set up as a primarily out of town yeshiva.

    #899598
    WIY
    Member

    mbachur

    Alaska is out of town Lchol Hadeiyos.

    #899599
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    oh i see, i guess.

    its a din in the cheftza not the gavra 😉

    #899600
    arc
    Participant

    exactly, mbachur

    #899601
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    WIY,

    unless it’s a lubavitch yeshiva

    #899602
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    very funny though

    #899603

    I went to Ner Yisrael for Mechina and they do not have a serious secular studies program. People have the impression that since they allow guys to go to college (albeit begrudgingly) it’s a more modern yehiva but in fact it is a right wing yeshivisha place.

    #899604

    Yeshivish Kofer: I went to NIRC for Beis Medrash and learned with boys in the high school during their early night seder, so my knowledge of the secular education in the high school is probably not as great as yours. However, I went to other, more yeshivish places for high school, and the secular education there was far, far worse.

    This topic is a year old so I don’t know how relevant it is anymore, but one thing that Ner Yisrael and a few similar yeshivas have that the newer, smaller yeshivas don’t have is a sense that they are completely responsible for the bachurim in torah, middos, and gashmius. I live in Lakewood, and the way the most of the high schools here treat their boys is an utter disaster. There can be one rebbi and maybe a (unpaid) shoel umayshiv for 40 boys in 9th grade. Nobody knows where the boys are when they’re not in yeshiva, nobody gives any hadracha outside of the Gemara and periodic jeremiads about tzioinim, ipods, and lubavitch. This leads to bachurim hitching across town at all hours, essentially no education at all, religious or secular, for the boys who are not at the top of the class, and no knowledge of what your kid is eating, who his friends are, or how he is developing.

    Contrast Ner Yisrael, where there is are different level shiurim within each grade, there are dorm counselors, dorm supervisors, older chavrusas, English teachers etc. for each kid in the mechina. The secular studies may not be great, but someone will know if you aren’t showing up. There are at least tests and evaluations.

    In Ner Yisrael, the boys go to the rebbeims houses for oneg shabbos, they see the rebbeim (and yungeleit) interacting with their wives and families regularly. They have kosher outlets on campus, like a baseball field, a basketball court, and even a band. If your son goes to Ner Yisroel, you will not find out that he has been going to shalom zachors of complete strangers every Friday night. You won’t find out that he has not had a one-on-one conversation with an authority figure for nine months straight. You won’t find out that he ate shabbos meals in the dorm because the yeshiva didn’t provide meals, relying on the boys to find families to eat with. These are all things that happen regularly in the young, in-town yeshivas.

    If there are parents out there who are comparing Ner Yisrael to the types of yeshivas that a peer student might go to in Lakewood or Brooklyn – usually small yeshivas that haven’t been around very long, there is almost no question that your child will be safer and get a better Jewish and secular education at Ner Yisrael.

    #899605
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    He said “Jeremiad”

    #899606
    mw13
    Participant

    “they do not have a serious secular studies program.”

    Why is this not loshon hara?

    #899607
    avhaben
    Participant

    mw13: It isn’t l”h because that isn’t a bad thing. The same thing as if he would’ve said that Ner Yisroel’s basketball gym is in poor condition. Big deal.

    (P.S. I have no idea if N”Y even has a gym.)

    #899608

    @MW13: There is more than one mitzvah in the Torah. Perhaps he’s saving Ner Yisroel from taking someone’s money on false pretenses and having to come back in another gilgul.

    #899609
    HIE
    Participant

    it is absolutely not loshon hara. it is loshon tov. Secular education takes away from your a bochurs learning. It is loshon hara to say that a yeshiva has secular studies. By saying a yeshiva has secular studies you are saying that they waste many hours.

    #899610
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Perhaps he’s saving Ner Yisroel from taking someone’s money on false pretenses and having to come back in another gilgul.

    Which other yeshiva is most likely to be ner israel’s gilgul?

    #899611

    @HIE

    Enjoy poverty for you and your children and their children.

    The money has run out and unless more “frumma yidden” start becoming professionals, the holy neighborhoods you live in will look more and more like the shtetle than you ever cared to imagine.

    #899612
    takahmamash
    Participant

    t is loshon hara to say that a yeshiva has secular studies. By saying a yeshiva has secular studies you are saying that they waste many hours.

    Are you living in some type of alternate universe? Is there a problem that perhaps the yeshiva wants their talmidim to be responsible adults who can actually support their families, not living off the shver, the shvigger, WIC, and welfare?

    #899613
    Health
    Participant

    yeshivish kofer -“I went to Ner Yisrael for Mechina and they do not have a serious secular studies program. People have the impression that since they allow guys to go to college (albeit begrudgingly) it’s a more modern yehiva but in fact it is a right wing yeshivisha place.”

    I disagree with your comment, even though I posted above very similar to it. I agree with this guy’s comment:

    “arc -When you compare NIRC to other yeshivos they have a good english dept.”

    In other words -I’m inbetween.

    It’s definitely a lot better than going to some MO or Modern high school.

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