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  • #600536

    I’m a nerd on the serface. how can I overcome it? and be socially accepted….

    #920574
    Peerimsameach
    Participant

    I really hope this isnt a joke. I mamish have no time…but I couldnt help but want to help you after reading a few of your posts Im no psychologist or therapist, or even old wise man, but what i can tell you is like this. First of all you gotta be yourself, and no matter how zany, nerdy or weird you are people will like you if you are you.(and plus trying to be someone else wont make you truthfully happy) As long as your not a seriously (like its written all over your face every second of the day) depressed, annoying, mean, easily angered person I Dont see why people would want to stay away from you. If your an overall really nice guy, but just look like a nerd in the way you dress or act.. sooo what???? the people who wouldnt want to be friends with you are people you dont want to be friends with, ( waaaay to superficial). Also you gotta realize that REAL relationships with people dont just happen you have to work on them! as “nerdy” as that sounds. If you see someone you once had a nice chat with, and you think to yourself that you wouldnt mind being their friends..than go up to them, and ask them if they would want to chill with you. Also just a massive general thing to know is WHEN YOU GIVE YOU GET. try being EXTRA nice to people go out of your way for them( dont get stepped all over) but just try to be nice. do chasadim.. and yea most importantly DAVEN FOR SIYATA DISHMAYA. there are many people out there who are in need of a friend… they are in the same situation as you!! your not alone bro

    #920575
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    do you have a good sense of humor?

    are you good in a sport?

    can you sing?

    can you dance?

    you must be good at something (besides being smart)(except you spelled surface wrong)

    #920576
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    What’s wrong with being a nerd?

    #920577
    Jothar
    Member

    YITTY LEIBEL HOTLINE Anonymous hotline under Orthodox Jewish auspices providing mental health services worldwide. (718) 435-7669 …

    #920578
    gefen
    Participant

    First you’re a loser and now ur a nerd? I can’t tell if you are serious or ur just trying to play with us here on the cr.

    If you are serious, i’m sorry for you. like someone suggested on the other thread, make friends here on the cr. that should help somewhat. also there really is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. you’d be surprised how many ppl go to a therapist. there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    also don’t be so sure others see you as you describe urself. u might be pleasantly surprised at how others think of you.

    hatzlacha and keep in touch with us here.

    #920579
    Peerimsameach
    Participant

    lol thanks about the smart part. actually im totally not, maybe just street smart i guess.I dont know what that has to do with you, but ive got alot of abilities. i wouldnt call them talents cuz when i think of talents i think of break dancing beatboxing etc. but yea im a chilled guy, really easy to get along with , i love life, love Torah, Love learning( not so good at it..but still one day) Im a very positive person, all the girls love me, im myself, im crazy funny, I like to make people smile, i like to help etc. I dunno…why you want to know? oh and im a sik brakdancer

    #920580
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Don’t accept the label. Only you can say what you are. If you don’t want to be a nerd, then you are not a nerd!

    #920581
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Troll,

    Answered me with another screenname

    #920582

    umm, peerimsameach, I think you responded using the wrong screen name.

    #920585
    umm
    Member

    LOL! Caught red-handed!

    #920586
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Now THIS is amusing…

    #920587
    GumBall
    Member

    JUST DONT BE A NERD!! dont act like one!!lol!!

    #920588
    mommamia22
    Participant

    Why do you think you’re a nerd on the surface? Has someone told you that?

    If you figured it out (either by observing the dress of others compared to yours or their speech, etc) then you’re not as much of a nerd as you think. Nerdiness, in my opinion, is by definition, someone who doesn’t fit in. If you can see where you don’t, then you are more socially aware than you think.

    How are you different? It sounds like you do not embrace this “differentness”. How would you want to be more similar to others? Dressing similarly is as easy as shopping in trendy stores where you think the salespeople are “with it” and asking them to help you put outfits together. There are plenty of places that do this. If you need suggestions, just ask. I actually once approached another parent in one of my kids classes and told her I loved the way she dresses. I asked her if she could help me choose better clothing. She was SOOOOO complimented and happy to help. I wasn’t even friends with her. She was just a nice person. Socially, verbally, you might need more guidance. Carrying on conversations can be hard when you don’t know how to do it. It also takes sensitivity to those around you and the ability to read body language to tell you who’s open to talking, how long to talk, what subjects interest people. This is something you would be best off learning in a social skills group. I highly recommend it.

    #920589
    supergirl613
    Member

    HAHA!!! THIS IS GETTING FUNNY!!!!

    #920590
    mommamia22
    Participant

    IS this a joke??

    WHo wrote this thread, I scream or peerimsameach?

    If it’s a joke, it’s ugly and wasting people’s time.

    genevas zman. Not a joke.

    #920591
    supergirl613
    Member

    IDK!!!!!!!maybe they are the same person

    #920593
    GumBall
    Member

    Lol!! Im so not a nerd!! Becpome frenz with me and ppl will think ur the cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolest!!

    #920594

    thank-you everyone for this advice… I’m really finding it helpful, and perhaps you are all helping others as well… Yasher Koach everyone!

    coffee addict:

    “Once killed a Mountain Lion with his bare hands

    Troll,

    Answered me with another screenname”

    “upergirl613

    Member

    IDK!!!!!!!maybe they are the same person”

    Perhaps she’s my other half…

    #920596

    thank you everyone again for you kind thoughtful advice. I really appreciate it all greatly. it’s kind of really helping me..

    Bump that wasn’t very nice to that to her. If gumball believes she is the cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolest that is absolutely great. It means she’s got a healthy self esteem.

    Gumball thanks for offering to be my friend, I would take up that coooooooooooooooooooooooool offer if not for the fact that Jothar might jump down my throught with a hack saw declaring me a stalker.. etc… and who knows what else…lol:)

    “mommamia22

    Member

    IS this a joke??

    WHo wrote this thread, I scream or peerimsameach?

    If it’s a joke, it’s ugly and wasting people’s time.

    genevas zman. Not a joke.”

    nope it’s NOT a joke, it might be ugly though… I REALLLY feel like a nerd!!!! anyone else here feeeeeel this way toooo???? besides which even if I wasn’t a nerd, I wouldn’t be wasting people’s precious time since others can benefit from this advice too!!!

    plenny of em out there…

    #920597
    mommamia22
    Participant

    It’s really hard to answer someone when you don’t know who you’re talking to. I’m not talking about knowing the person “personally”, identity and all. I’m talking about knowing that there’s an authentic person out there asking a genuine question for themselves. I don’t know if you asked this wholeheartedly for yourself. If you did, I apologize for doubting you. However, from the confusion of who wrote this thread, it would seem that others have had a hard time identifying the real writer too.

    A silly thread discussing jokes or word games…. no one cares if you carry the kidding around further.

    Threads with a more serious tone, where those who are answering are taking the time to think about their responses and answering with a full heart offering “their” truth deserves the same “truth” in kind.

    If your questions and needs are authentic, then I’m happy I wrote. If it was just a philosophical discussion, then please, include that in your posts in the future. My kids would’ve loved my attention and I took time away from them to answer you.

    #920598

    momamia, and everyone else, I really appreciate your advice wholeheartedly, it means an aweful lot to me,

    this may clarify your concerns…,

    APushetaYid

    Member

    i am fed up! i need a support group for people in shidduchim! chizuk.. stories.. lets go AK’s

    Posted 9 hours ago #

    Ice-cream uscream we all…

    Member

    just curious, are you a guy or a girl. I not trying to figure you out, i’m JUST curious..

    this question violates the terms of use. Please read them. (so does posting from different screennames).

    Posted 46 minutes ago #

    Ice-cream uscream we all…

    Member

    MODS,-I understand the first statement and i apologise for the question, but what other screan name do you believe I am using????

    you very clearly responded from the wrong screenname earlier in the thread.

    Posted 30 minutes ago #

    Ice-cream uscream we all…

    Member

    I’m confused which thread??? was that response from the same Ip address??? perhaps a different user posted trying to pretend they were me! Don’t jump to conclusions please, until all your facts are proven to be 100% true!!

    Yes, it could be a different poster trying to do that. It is possible. Same IP doesn’t really prove anything.

    #920599
    #920600
    CallMeDave
    Participant

    I don’t usually respond to posts often but I felt that maybe it can be helpful.

    First of all I don’t intend to be hurtful in anyway and if anything I say may hurt you then please forgive me.

    One needs to look into themselves and write down the reasons that one thinks he/she is a nerd and try to see if it is a valid reason or just some perceived notion based on x amount of times that people have told him/her or made him/her feel like he/she is a nerd etc…. (Also alot of this might have to do with ones upbringing schooling etc…. so it can really take time to figure these things out.)

    Once one has the reasons that he/she thinks that he/she is a nerd, he should go through them and see if there are things that he/she can change. For example if one tends to be forgetful and puts his glasses on top of their head and forgets that he/she put them there and then looks for them for an hour and finally finds them, one can think to themselves” Boy am I slow…. I am such a scatter brain… etc…. etc….all these are negative feelings which lead a person to have negative thoughts and low self esteem which eventually leads to being anti social and then leads to depression G-d forbid. but if one learns to do things to help oneself not get into this situation it will help him/her reverse this effect and to build a better self image etc…

    One has to believe in themselves in order to succeed so after he/she devises some sort of plan to change what can be changed and to accept that which is hard to change I believe that he/she will be more ready to believe in themselves.

    I am sure that I barely covered this in depth as there is a lot more out there and there are a lot more possibilities of what the problem might be related to. Usually these issues are related to low self esteem and reading books on how to develop better self esteem will be helpful.

    Last but not least one needs to ask Hashem to help him/her see the truth, to be happy with who they are and to be able to change the things that can be changed and to accept the things that cant be changed.

    #920601
    iBump
    Member

    Ice-cream uscream we all: 2 points

    1) is this isnt a joke why did you start 2 threads with basically the exact same point? were you just trying to crack yourself up when you see the helpful, thought out answers, that many provided trying to help you??

    2) its iBump as in iPhone, and iPod

    Gumball: I’m sorry if you got insulted by me earlier post (it seems the mods took it down) but i was jk!

    (am still waiting for tips on how to be

    ” the cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolest!!” though,

    so i can be “the cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolest!! with you!!)

    🙂 Bump 🙂

    #920602
    Peerimsameach
    Participant

    lol ohh man.. i just realized all the confusion. ha let me clarify….

    basically (k it was dumb, i’ll admit) i thought that “coffee addict” was talking to ME. trust me, i am NOT that ice cream dude. far from it, actually.

    sorry for all the confusion- that was pretty funny!

    #920603

    Peopel tell me I’m a ferd all the time. Nee, you live with it.

    #920604
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Funny thing but I actually believe Peerimsameach.

    I don’t think this was a troll thread, at least not to the extent it was taken.

    #920605
    adorable
    Participant

    k this is joe all the way!!!!!!!!

    #920606
    Peerimsameach
    Participant

    yitayningwut- Yo thanks for the backup… But i don’t need it Who cares what people think of you in the cr….

    #920607
    Duggie
    Member

    I beileve you too peerimsameach!!!! 🙂

    #920609
    Peerimsameach
    Participant

    kodos to you Duggie!!

    #920610
    iBump 2.0
    Participant

    just to live up to my screen name… BUMP!

    anyone remember this one?

    p.s. it goes along with this

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/looooooooser

    🙂 Bump 🙂

    #920611
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I think ice cream is still here as more and more_2…but that’s just my personal opinion…

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