January 17, 2019 1:26 pm at 1:26 pm #1664023
Atheist ואתא מלאך המות ושחט ל
That made the spaghetti monster doubt himself
That ate O’Keefle
That split into two and rejoinedJanuary 17, 2019 1:59 pm at 1:59 pm #1664029MenoParticipant
Little did the spaghetti monster know that spaghetti was O’Keefle’s favorite food…
Also, little did the spaghetti monster know that there were people around town referring to him as “the speghatti monster”January 17, 2019 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #1664105
But the spaghetti monster was still doubting himself, and he vomited.January 17, 2019 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #1664118
But as O’Keefle was being vomited out of the spaghetti monster an alien spacecraft abducted both O’Keefle and Baruch. “This will complete our research of the human brain” one of the aliens says to the other and they promptly switch O’Keefle’s brain with Baruch and send them back down to earthJanuary 17, 2019 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #1664125
When they came back to earth, they noticed that something was different. First, they realized that they switched bodies!! They then ran out onto the street and they saw that the aliens turned everyone into alpacas! Then they chapped-it was the aliens that made the original talking alpacas all along and switched their bodies!!!February 2, 2019 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #1672610
Then, the alien police arrived and arrested the aliens for violating intergalactic law. They sent a team to switch Baruch and O’Keefle back and turn all the alpacas human, including the ones who had been alpacas all along. Then they erased all the human’s memories of the aliens.
Baruch and O’Keefle were dropped off in a department store in the big city, because the aliens didn’t know where to put them, so they figured it was best to put them somewhere where there were a lot of other humans to help them find their way home. Unfortunately, it was very disconcerting for Baruch and O’Keefle to find themselves face to face in the housewares department.
At first, Baruch forgot that this O’Keefle was both good and bad. He panicked, realizing that he was in the same place as his old enemy and political opponent. But then he realized that this O’Keefle was both good and bad and 100% confused.
“How do you feel now?” Baruch asked O’Keefle gently. “Do you think you need to go back to the hospital? Or do you perhaps know how we got here?”
O’Keefle didn’t know how they had gotten there, and he didn’t know how to deal with his conflicting emotions. He felt like robbing a bank and using the money to combat extreme poverty in third world countries, or maybe just ordering lunch, cursing at the waiter, and leaving a ten thousand dollar tip. Baruch could tell O’Keefle still felt mentally anguished, so he decided he’d bring him to the hospital after some shopping. They both needed new clothes after a day of, well, he couldn’t quite remember, but their clothes were both tattered. He knew the good side of O’Keefle wouldn’t let him do anything too bad, and vice versa. Baruch offered to pay for O’Keefle’s clothes, but the bad side of O’Keefle was too proud to accept, while the good side didn’t want to impose.
As Baruch and O’Keefle looked through a rack of suits, they were approached by a sheepish-looking
alpacaman. “Hello,” the man said. “I’m terribly sorry, but can you help me find clothing that doesn’t have any buttons? I can’t explain why, but I am completely unused to having opposable thumbs.”February 2, 2019 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #1672617
The man then spit at them. He apologized immediatly and said he’s been having the urge to spit app day.February 2, 2019 10:32 pm at 10:32 pm #1672632LightbriteParticipant
Alas, there was only one place to find clothing without buttons, Paris, Texas!
But to go to Texas, they’d have to cross the border between Texas and another US state.
Baruch dug for his driver’s license, which his wife’s dog’s cousin buried in the backyard.
Soon enough Baruch, O’Keffle and the sheepish man were in Baruch’s pink Cadillac. His wife earned the snazzy card
from her Mary Kay sales success.
There they were, like three musketeers on the road to Paris! Off to buy buttonless clothing!June 3, 2019 7:53 am at 7:53 am #1736968
Along the way, they passed an airport with many small planes parked there. As Baruch had recently gotten his pilots license (https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/new-ongoing-story-please-add-your-continuations/page/2/#post-1657895), they decided to rent an airplane and fly the rest of the way.
What he didn’t realize, was that alpacas are terrified of heights.
Captain™June 5, 2019 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #1738941
They took off and started to climb. As they got higher, the alpaca/man started freaking out. He got so scared that he opened the door and jumped out of the plane. That’s when he realized the aliens gave him the power to shape shift. The alpaca/man promptly turned into a bird and quickly landed because he was still scared of heights.
Meanwhile Baruch was able to fly faster because the plane was lighter.
Captain™June 5, 2019 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #1739114
It was to bad that it started raining tacos. The plane had to make an emergency landing in the wizarding world of harry potter!! They were not alpaca friendly there!!June 5, 2019 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #1739148
So it was good that the alpaca turned into a bird and quickly landed outside of the wizard in world of Harry Potter and quickly ran away to New York leaving Baruch and O’Keefle safe and sound since they were ordinary mugglesJune 5, 2019 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #1739124
On the ground, the shape-shifting alpaca man realized that he was the most powerful person in the world. He could fly, pose as any kind of creature, and fit into any space. But he was most comfortable as an alpaca.June 6, 2019 7:44 am at 7:44 am #1739305LOTR92Participant
But the Lakewood vaad decided that alpacas are too goyish so they sent out one of their spare A-10 warthogs to finish him off.June 6, 2019 7:44 am at 7:44 am #1739315
Meanwhile Baruch and O’Keefle realized that they were no ordinary muggles. They discovered they had the ability to use The Force. They promptly built lightsabers and challenged Harry Potter to a wand vs. lightsaber duel.
Captain™June 6, 2019 8:59 am at 8:59 am #1739359
But the alpacas were undefeatable because they knew the lakewood vaads weakness-jeans! So they put the jeans on the worthog and it melted. They then proceeded to turn lakewood into an alpaca city called fluffy townJune 6, 2019 12:55 pm at 12:55 pm #1739547LOTR92Participant
(BTW the A-10 warthog is a warplane with a big gun. Check it up it’s very funny.)June 6, 2019 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm #1739575
Baruch and O’Keefle had to cancel the duel when they realized that O’Keefle could only use both sides of the Force.September 29, 2019 9:16 am at 9:16 am #1790307
But when they realized that Baruch could also, they decided to go ahead with it again.
Captain™October 25, 2019 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #1794730
Just as the duel was about to commence, everyone froze into place. The air seemed to shimmer and crack, allowing a large crowd of glowing ghost-like beings to walk through. The ghosts rudely did not introduce themselves; instead, one of them began a speech.
“Do not repeat our mistakes!” shouted the vaguely shaped figure. “You know what has been in your past, not your effect on the future!”
“We have no idea who you are or what you want from us!” shouted everyone collectively. “This is a strange experience! What is even happening here?! Why are you a ghost?”
“We are not ghosts!” protested the shape. “We are merely time travelers! We are unable to do anything that has not already been done, but it is written in our history books that we came to you and gave this speech!”
“Then why did you do such an awful job speaking?” the crowd asked derisively. “You should have given us at least some valuable information in order to serve whatever your purposes are.”
“We are forbidden to read the records about this meeting, but it must have mentioned that we are just pretty bad at public speaking. We are those who made the mistake you are about to make: We fought in duels, in the time that even you know as the past. Time travelers took us out of time so that we could come to you now.”
The crowd was even more confused. The time travelers all disappeared but one.November 14, 2019 12:42 am at 12:42 am #1800732
This made everyone very upset, as they wanted to know if lightsabers with the force was stronger than wands with magic. They sat there for a while until Harry Potter came up with a brilliant idea. “As we can’t duel each other, I am declaring war on you” he said.
This made everyone happy as they would get to fight each other after all.
Captain™November 14, 2019 7:56 am at 7:56 am #1800783
Then everyone started fighting. As Baruch was about to stab him, a voice shouted that I command you guys to like eachother! Then an alpaca floated out of the sky and cuddled with them and made them very calm. O’keefle was very triggered though because the voice assumed his gender.November 20, 2019 6:52 am at 6:52 am #1802396Burnt SteakParticipant
Little did everyone know, O’keffle identified as a M16A2 rifle. O’keefle was so triggered that the bullets came flying out.
Meanwhile, Greg Boyd had just finished buttering his toast when he looked outside his circular kitchen window. The snow had not yet started to fall even though November was a few weeks away. Snow was common in October and Greg couldn’t help but wonder if the lack of snow was from global warming. Greg went back to his toast. The toast was charred on one side, yet soft enough to soak up the yoke from the sunny side up eggs. Greg decided it would be a good day. He had to go to work, but later that night he was meeting James and Phil to go to the pub and football match.
Before Greg was able to finish his toast, he heard a knock on the door. Instinctively he started to ask Carla to get the door before he remembered that she left him two weeks ago. James had the idea to go to the game to get his mind off of her and Greg accepted.
Another knock, this time louder and more frantic. Greg decided to open the door. Standing before him was Baruch who was holding a alpaca filled with bullet holes. Instantly Greg understood what he had to do. He had to find O’keefle and get revenge.November 20, 2019 6:54 am at 6:54 am #1802401
The remaining time traveler laughed and laughed. “This is all a simultation!” he giggled. “As soon as the war started, I froze time and gave you all fake swords and virtual reality goggles”!
It was true. Unfortunately, the time traveler used future technology to make all the most volatile fighters both invincible and powerless.November 20, 2019 9:08 am at 9:08 am #1802469
Everyone was so suprised! Their suprised energy was so strong that it made a stanpede of goats appear. Thus, now they needed to find a guard alpaca.February 26, 2020 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #1835871
But they couldn’t find one because the goats killed the alpaca, so Baruch and O’Keefle decided to stop fighting and make up and everyone lived happily ever after
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