April 3, 2011 12:59 am at 12:59 am #596079
I am a 20 something single and I try to have emunah, but lately it seems that there are simply no single, frum boys where I live. I feel like I have tried everything – I just want a date with a normal nice boy. I want to be happy-go-lucky, but it is hard to be a single Jew at Shul around so many young couples and their children. It is not that I am not happy for them, I just wish I could have this too and, despite my best efforts and prayers, my only answer is to be patient. The worst part is I can’t help but wonder if my previous relationships could have worked if I hadn’t made some mistakes – what if these were my last chance? Or what if I passed on my bashert! I don’t want to give up but it is very challenging to be single and frum! G-d help us all.April 3, 2011 1:31 am at 1:31 am #755177truth be toldMember
I’m so sorry aabout your predicament. May hashem help you and give you strength.
One thing though. The pass-up deal is probably not true, at all. (Of course we have to act responsibly, but Hasehm does forgive past mistakes). The pass-up stories pretend teshuva doesn’t exist. Teshuva exists on much greate thingsApril 3, 2011 1:46 am at 1:46 am #755180brotherofursParticipant
i wish you luck! i hope you find the right one soon (sorry 4 before)April 3, 2011 1:59 am at 1:59 am #755181
omg- I feel the exact same way!!! It is so so so hard!!!April 3, 2011 2:05 am at 2:05 am #755182
I don’t know how much longer I can stand it:(April 3, 2011 2:15 am at 2:15 am #755183
happiest – is there a way we can talk outside this site? I feel like having a friend in the same boat could help!April 3, 2011 2:19 am at 2:19 am #755184
Ummmm, not sure. I’d give you an email address (that doesn’t have my name attached) but doubt the mods would let something like that through…April 3, 2011 2:37 am at 2:37 am #755185popa_bar_abbaParticipant
seahorse and happiest:
I think that is a great idea. And you can daven for each other without knowing each others names; G-d can figure out who you are.April 3, 2011 2:47 am at 2:47 am #755186cshapiroMember
ever read garden of emunah?April 3, 2011 2:58 am at 2:58 am #755187
I’ve been reading it! It’s really a lifesaver; though I haven’t mastered it’s techniques just yet 😛April 3, 2011 3:06 am at 3:06 am #755188commonsenseParticipant
Seahorse, I don’t know where you live, but a lot of girls come to brooklyn to date because it’s hard to find single boys out of town.April 3, 2011 4:20 am at 4:20 am #755189individualMember
Seahorse, you cannot pass up your bashert- no matter what anyone will tell you. (Some shadchanim have tried to scare me with that) Every stage that you are in life, Hashem has a zivug for you. I was listening to Rabbi Reisman who said that you can never mess up a shidduch. If it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. For me, I think it’s a connecting boy with girl issue,sometimes I see boys, who are single, and I wonder, why don’t people set me up with any of them? Some people have said to me when I’ve given them names, “I don’t set up shidduchim, find someone else.” Or I’ve heard they charge so much money. I am so dependent on our community- can’t they help me? I understand it is a lot of work, but singles need help. That being said, there are so many people (more than not actually) who are willing to help, even out of town, and moving to NY/Brooklyn is not always an option. It is also important to live in the moment and enjoy being single (as hard as that may seem, there are so many things you can do to enjoy this time). You can make such a difference in your own life and klall Yisrael at this point in your life.
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