Non-halachic question

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  • #613250

    oomis
    Participant

    I am curious as to the consensus of the eclectic group of people who post here. In your experience either in making a wedding or being invited to one, have you seen invitations that list the hall without its address and also without the caterer’s directions to it?

    #1024327

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I don’t think directions are required, with the ubiquity of navigation devices. I think the address is standard, though.

    Were the invitations already printed? If they were, don’t bother. Everyone will figure it out.

    The eclectic DY

    #1024328

    It’s a real sha’alah. I think the seforim deal with that particular sort of problem. In Talmidical terms it’s called “mareh makom hu lo”.

    Kidding aside, I’ve seen such. And there’s one who’s a close friend, and I don’t know where on earth the hall is (actually I know it’s somewhere in the state of New York). If you’re only inviting people from the immediate surroundings, nu – why bother. But if you plan on inviting someone not from that neighborhood (and you really want them to attend), I would think it’s common sense to put an address on it too.

    (maybe to save on ink, print two sets of invitations…)

    #1024329

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    One shouldn’t invite people who need invitations to know to come.

    #1024330

    oomis
    Participant

    Honestly, there are lots of people coming from out of town, and not everyone has a navigation system or knows how to use one. I had nothing to do with the invitations. I have never heard of at least not having directions inserted into the envelopes. It is presumptuous in my humble opinion, to automatically assume everyone knows where a specific hall is, even if it is in their own neighborhood. and if it ISN’T – then it is really difficult to understand why someone could deliberately make such an omission (yes, it was deliberate, as the other side believes it is not “fancy” to include directions or addresses). I guess I am very old-fashioned, and want my guests to feel wanted and not to get lost trying to find the simcha.

    I handled this situation without machlokess, by simply going to Office Max and printing up labels with the name of the place and its street address. I had to put it on the backs of the envelopes, as we had already sealed them. Hopefully people will notice.

    #1024331

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    ??? ????? ???? ?? ?????

    This should be the biggest issue. Good job in not causing machlokes. If we can all be tolerant of our religious differences, we can certainly try to be tolerant of our stylistic and cultural differences.

    #1024332

    Sam2
    Participant

    DY: Who is ever tolerant of religious differences? 🙂

    #1024333

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Sam: oomis.

    #1024334

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    I have seen invitations that do not list the address. It is considered fancier that way for some reason.

    Anyone can just type the name of the hall into Google and get the address and directions.

    #1024335

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Maybe they shouldn’t list the date and time either wow now that’s fancy!!!!!

    #1024336

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Haha, Goq, or the names of the chosson/kallah or parents.

    #1024337

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    They should print everything but leave out the paper.

    #1024338

    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    RebYidd23- Not much of a joke. You can have the text in script, printed in plastic. You don’t need a paper to support it. That would be cool. Or you can have it printed on wood.

    #1024339

    golfer
    Participant

    Mazel Tov, oomis, on the upcoming simcha!

    I have received invitations without printed directions to the hall.

    I don’t remember ever getting an invite with no address for the hall.

    Maybe I’m not getting invited to the fancy weddings.

    (Funny, because I’ve really enjoyed the simchas I’ve attended.)

    I want to join the other posters who congratulate you on solving the problem creatively, efficiently, and best of all, without causing any hurt feelings or unpleasantness. Kol HaKavod!!!

    #1024340

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Gamanit, anyone whom you can’t just call is being invited because you don’t want to hurt their feelings and they will come so as not to insult you.

    #1024341

    oomis
    Participant

    Anyone can just type the name of the hall into Google and get the address and directions. “

    They shouldn’t have to do that. Maybe when I invite someone to my home for a Shabbos meal, I shouldn’t tell them my address,either, but just hope they somehow Google me, and show up.

    Many people whom I know (some of whom are older than I), don’t even own a computer, much less know how to Google something on one. And why should someone be made to feel he is not wanted, which is how it would look to me, were I not given directions to a simcha. So many places have similar-sounding names, also, and people could mamesh end up at the wrong simcha!

    Keep your fancy nonsense, and show some derech eretz for the rest of the world, who are not in your social circle, I say!

    Thank you, Golfer, for your good wishes and kind words. Anyone who knows me well, and those of you who know me here, also know that I hate conflict, and try to avoid it like the plague. I feel that it is so important to deal with people respectfully, though sometimes it becomes a little trying. That said, sometimes it hits you baal korchecha, and you have to find ways to deal with the conflict, causing the least damage in the process.

    I wish this were the only inyan, but it is very challenging when both sets of parents are not only not on the same page, but in two different books altogether!!! I have developed a whole new appreciation for my wonderul in-laws O”H, who though not frum, gave such kovod and cooperation to my parents in planning our wedding, and only wanted what was best for us. And my parents, likewise, showed them the same level of kovod, while greatly appreciating that there was never any question on my inlaws’ parts that the chasunah would be done in the religious way deemed proper by my family.

    At the end of the day (and I am starting to be irritated by that phrase, for some reason), the important thing is that the young couple getting married truly build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel together. And that is my wish for them, without drama. My wish for ME is that I get to make the simach B’SIMCHA.

    #1024342

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    It’s not a matter of forcing people to Google. I think the havana is that a fancy wedding hall is a known landmark that shouldn’t need an address (for those in town). For example, you might invite your neighbors to a “kiddush at the Young Israel of Coffeeland” without giving an address because everyone in Coffeeland knows where the Young Israel is.

    Perhaps this is even some sort of a throw back to ancient times when towns were smaller and there were no addresses.

    Since this is the CR, I’ll have to say that this is probably chukas akum because the goyim would always get married in the church in the center of town that didn’t need an address because everyone knew where it was.

    #1024343

    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    I actually find invitations a useful way to keep track of weddings. While I don’t need an invitation to come to a wedding, it’s better than scribbling the date and address on a random scrap of paper. Who says I’d be able to read it later? If I would wait for an invitation to go to a wedding, I would have missed the wedding of my good friend. When I got her invitation, it was postmarked from two weeks before her wedding. I got it more than a month after the wedding. Funny part was that I never even realized that I didn’t get an invitation- I had thought that I just lost it.

    #1024344

    yaakov doe
    Participant

    Those that I’d invite don’t have internet and couldn’t Google address. If the simcha is at the Waldorf, an address isn’t necessary.

    #1024345

    squeak
    Participant

    If you have to ask for the address, you don’t belong. Stay away you untermensch.

    /sarcasm

    #1024346
    #1024347

    golfer
    Participant

    Y doe, are you telling me it’s time to pack my bags (and my keyboard) and leave the coffeeroom??

    – I have never attended a simcha at the Waldorf.

    – I don’t know the address of the Waldorf.

    (I can google it but seems that doesn’t count.)

    I didn’t realize what a classy bunch hang out here. I’m guessing the coffee isn’t instant either…

    #1024348

    no

    #1024349

    squeak
    Participant

    Wow, you used the word ubermensch.(?)

    #1024350

    OHHH!

    So it’s you, the one with the sticker in the back!!!!

    (ok, stop hyperventilating.. I’m just kidding.. at least so far.. I’ll check my mail..)

    I like that last line – You should be zoche to make your Simcha b’simchah!! True happiness and gladness, with only good and fond lasting memories of it (and preparations too!)

    Tzefardea HaKatan at Coffeeland

    #1024351

    oomis
    Participant

    I couldn’t tell you where the W.A. hotel is, either. And not everyone owns a smartphone, myself included.

    #1024352

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    301 Park Ave, New York, NY 10022

    #1024353

    oomis
    Participant

    Thanks, DY. Should I ever chance to make a simcha there, now I know where it will be. NOT!

    #1024354

    greenBubble
    Member

    Methinks that most wedding invitationss that have Hevrew and English, have the address in English but not in Hebrew.

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