nosy family members

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    I am so frustrated! I know that being part of a big, warm family comes with a lot of good but its so annoying when the go and repeat things…. there is no such a thing as privacy because everyone is so close and has big mouths!


    Tell the perpetrators. Say you are not respecting my privacy.


    If you dont want it repeated keep it to yourself. It has always worked for me. You can always post it in CR if no-one knows you. I have also found that sometimes you can trust certain family members over others. Steer clear of the gossipers amongst the families


    Learn to keep things to yourself if you want it a secret. It’s very hard for people to resist repeating. Learn the facts of life!


    “I am so frustrated! I know that being part of a big, warm family comes with a lot of good but its so annoying when the go and repeat things….”

    True story. I once went through therapy for this reason & the therapist just kept saying “Yeah? So big deal.”…it made me even more frustrated. I’m laughing as I think back to it, but at the time it made me so angry.

    Either way, what drove me to therapy was the fact that not only did my family talk about my private matters, but most of the community that I lived in knew things about me that I didn’t want them to know!

    To illustrate, one of my friends decided to tell her hair-dresser my life story & the hair-dresser got mad because she didn’t approve of how I became a baal teshuva….You can’t even make up a story like this, I mean, I didn’t even know her hair-dresser and now, not only does she know my life story, but she has also passed judgement on me…and I’m a complete stranger!!!

    However, I remember I was at a Shabbos table & it just so happened that H-shem decided to bring a group of us together that were having issues with this topic. I can still remember how great that night felt. Everyone at the table felt so relieved to tell stories of their most embarrassing moments. It was actually very theraputic…but also sad. It made us realize that this is an issue in many Jewish communities & therefore, we decided to be more on guard with our own tongues, since the change should always start in our own lives/thoughts/views/

    @boredinoffice, that doesn’t always work since there are many other ways that people can find things out. I can think of certain situations that have happened to others in the past, where they never mentioned certain things to anyone, but still people found out through other ways.


    well either way it was something that i did not think was personal but my mother did and i repeated it to someone in the family until it got back to her. you would think that i didnt tell her not to repeat it!

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