Now I Know What They Mean

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    “IY”H by you”

    I’ve gotten it before but there was something different about this one. So nebechy. The best part is that it came from someone single. If you mean it, at least make an attempt to sound sincere. If you don’t mean it, saying it won’t make you look very good.

    *vent over*



    So Kapusta who didn’t look very good, she or you?


    Aries im not sure what you meant by that can u explain?


    kapusta- this seems to be a favorite vent of yours. i think its time to calm down a bit.


    Huh? What makes you think its a favorite vent of mine?

    (I just googled and I found a thread I started in response to an earlier “IY”H by you” thread about a sort of related thing. Is that what you were talking about?)



    Toi: A chashuva rov I know would say, “Hey, you don’t lose points for feeling bad for somebody stuck in a difficult situation.”

    With much sensitivity and love for our brothers and sisters, we must put ourselves in their shoes sometimes, especially at this time of year. There’s nothing wrong with venting, it’s maybe even HEALTHY to “let it out” (and what better forum then the CR to do so.)

    Y’know, I’ll tell you something personal. (Perhaps even too personal.) When I got married the world seemed perfect. I had the perfect wife from the perfect family, perfect chassuna, house, and everything just seemed perfect. Until we realized we couldn’t have kids, without the help from fertility treatments. (After many years, we B”H had a baby.) Until we were blessed with a child, people would make comments to us, some nice, others down right embarrassing and insulting. From the oft repeated “I”Y by you”, to ” it must be hard. I feel for you”, to “Nu, what’s taking so long?”. Comments that people make can really make your day brighter, or C”V literally ruin your entire week.

    kapusta, I want to tell you that I feel for you, and with a sincere heartfelt “I”Y by you”, may you see a yeshuah bekorov, with mazel and brocha.


    Toi, you’re not single and you can’t judge other singles. Let them vent as much as they want and just be understanding. You probably got married at 18


    No, Kp is right for being miffed. A “well wish” that is not sincere, is almost as bad as being told, “sorry I could’nt make your simcha” when you had zero intention of going anyways.

    Say it like you mean it or don’t say it.

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