January 28, 2009 9:08 pm at 9:08 pm #1026551InShidduchimMember
makes sense! although looking at the pictures is alot of fun! its so dumb and they are not even shomer negeyaah., its publicizing a huge aveira!January 28, 2009 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #1026552
Is it all pictures you have a problem with or just untznius ones? If its the latter,you can probably alert the mods on the site.January 28, 2009 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #1026553
sjs, sorry, I don’t think Only Simcha’s really cares about being Shomer Negiah. Alot of the pictures are of the couples hugging, hand holding, etc. They would have alot of editing to do, if they didn’t tolerate such pictures.January 28, 2009 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #1026554
ALL pictures of women are not tznius to men. even a woman who is 95 yrs old, 400 pounds and has a moustache and bad acne is not tznius. this is why mishpacha, hamodia and many other FRUM papers dont have ANY pics of womenJanuary 28, 2009 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #1026555
sjs, sorry, I don’t think Only Simcha’s really cares about being Shomer Negiah. Alot of the pictures are of the couples hugging, hand holding, etc. They would have alot of editing to do, if they didn’t tolerate such pictures.
The truth is, I dont go on very often so I dont think I’ve seen pictures like that. Do they have terms of service about pictures on their site?
OS might care if people alerted them to the problem. It would be virtually impossible to check every picture before posted, and many sites have the users self mod.January 28, 2009 10:18 pm at 10:18 pm #1026556
SJS, I am not sure what OS’s terms of service is. I have never posted, never commented on it’s site. I think they feature anybody jewish (I hope they are jewish), no matter what level of yiddishkeit they may be on.January 29, 2009 12:41 am at 12:41 am #1026557
Let me tell you why I do like the pict: on o/s. My now 5 yrs old nephew was very sick when he was a baby. At the age of 9 months old he weighed what a 5-6 month old should weigh. At one point we did not know if he would make it. I think he had 3 or 4 surgeries. His Upsherin pict: still bring a tear to my eyes. I live in Providence RI my brother in Chicago and I was not there but with the picts I can share in that Simch. P.S. I am a man. 🙂January 29, 2009 1:15 am at 1:15 am #1026558coke not pepsiMember
RI very moving story but he could have emailed u the picsJanuary 29, 2009 1:20 am at 1:20 am #1026559
RI, why couldnt they just email the pictures to you or share them through picasa? I’m not saying that isnt a legitimate reason to post pictures on OS but thats an easy one to find other ways for.January 29, 2009 1:22 am at 1:22 am #1026560
RI: i dont think anyone has a problem with the baby pics or upsherin pics but there is snapfish.com which allows people to send their photos to friends and family if people want more privacy or you could just email picsJanuary 29, 2009 1:24 am at 1:24 am #1026561
oomis: i want to be on the site to see if anyone i know is engaged or married or whatever. why cant it be done in a tzniusdika manner. even if the pic is not tasteless its still not tznius for the whole world to see you.
Why? What exactly do you find immodest? I think there might be an inyan that people are afraid of ayin hara for some reason. If there are pictures of people hugging or whatever, then a person who is makpid should not be looking at those pictures. But if you are going to see pictures of your friend’s vort (though if they believe as you do, then there are no pics there, either, so again, what’s the kasha?), then you are not there to look at strangers. people who care about it, will not post pics. People who DO want to post, clearly do not care who sees their pictures. Either way, I think there are far more serious tznius issues, though i recognize that this bothers you a great deal.
Incidentally, do you feel it is untzniusdig for say Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis to have her picture appear in the Jewish Press every week. Should she stop speaking in public, because many people consider that, too, to be untzniusdig? Should Devorah Haneviah refrained from leading Klal Yisroel in Sefer Shoftim? Not only was she the shofetes, she led the army into battle. For every notion that something is untzniusdig, there might be a different opinion that is ain’t necessarily so. Actually, I am more concerned with ayin hara being a good reason for not doing this.January 29, 2009 1:37 am at 1:37 am #1026562moish01Member
oomis, i guess ugly people don’t have to worry. no one’s gonna be jealous anyway 🙂January 29, 2009 1:48 am at 1:48 am #1026563
oomis: im simply going there to see if anyone i know is making a simcha. thats it. i dont feel the need to see their pics of it and while there i dont need to see some engaged couple hugging. there is something called Shomer Aiynayim. why dont the yeshivish papers have any women in it? bec. people dont want to see it and are makpid on shomer aiynayim. Regarding the JP, personally I have no problem with Reb Jungreis’s pic but some of the sheitil ads and others are not appropriate which is why you will not really find it in the yeshivish and chasidish homes while hamodia and mishpacha is generally found in these homes. there is no point going back and force. i agree with hamodia and mishpacha and yated and the such for no pics of women at all because its just easier than to say yes to reb. jungreis and no to sheital ads. you apparently draw the line somewhere else.January 29, 2009 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1026564
im simply going there to see if anyone i know is making a simcha. thats it.
If they are important to you (not some random person you once knew) wouldnt you know that they were engaged?January 29, 2009 1:57 am at 1:57 am #1026565
im going there to see if the random people are engaged. i dont need it for the important people. whats wrong with that?January 29, 2009 2:09 am at 2:09 am #1026566
There is nothing wrong with that. Many people though use it to see pictures of their friend’s or relatives fiance/es that they might not be able to meet for whatever reason. If they arent sensitive to the pictures, I would say that their desire to “meet” the other person trumps your curiosity of random people.January 29, 2009 2:29 am at 2:29 am #1026567chasid-of-HashemMember
I do think that if only simchas would have moderators who screen posts and pictures posted ( shomer negiah ones) it would be a great site. Perhaps YWN mods could give moderating lessons (for an hourly fee, of course :P)
I charge more than they can afford 🙂January 29, 2009 2:43 am at 2:43 am #1026568
oomis: “If there are pictures of people hugging or whatever, then a person who is makpid should not be looking at those pictures.”
No, oomis, that is halacha not a chumra.January 29, 2009 2:52 am at 2:52 am #1026569
“oomis: im simply going there to see if anyone i know is making a simcha. thats it. i dont feel the need to see their pics of it and while there i dont need to see some engaged couple hugging. there is something called Shomer Aiynayim. why dont the yeshivish papers have any women in it? bec. people dont want to see it and are makpid on shomer aiynayim. Regarding the JP, personally I have no problem with Reb Jungreis’s pic but some of the sheitil ads and others are not appropriate which is why you will not really find it in the yeshivish and chasidish homes while hamodia and mishpacha is generally found in these homes. there is no point going back and force. i agree with hamodia and mishpacha and yated and the such for no pics of women at all because its just easier than to say yes to reb. jungreis and no to sheital ads. you apparently draw the line somewhere else. “
Flatbush27, I DO get where you are coming from. If you re-read what you posted, you basically said NO paper should print pictures of any women in them. That is unrealistic, considering that more than 50% of the world is comprised of women. However, I do understand your feelings on this issue and why this is so important to you. You have been brought up with a different mindset from mine, and while I totally agree with you on the shemiras ainayim idea, I think most grownups can handle the sight of a woman in a newspaper. If not, they should not read that particular paper, because it will probably be problematic for them. I applaud your integrity.January 29, 2009 3:06 am at 3:06 am #1026570
i dont understand if someone wants to put up thier pictures its thier poraggative (does that make sense in this context?) if u feel that it is not tznius no one is forcing anyone to go onto the site.
onlysimchas does not rly care whether the pictures are tznius or shomer negieah it is a site where u can find out about diffrent simchas and some ppl like to see pictures. like i said if u dont like it dont go on.
and that weird guy in that story someone said (sorry cant remember who) it couldve been someone she knew and its a private joke between them (dan lekaf zchus) or mayb it really was a sicko. there are plenty of them out there.January 29, 2009 3:32 am at 3:32 am #1026571
teen. to prevent the plenty of sickos out there, banning pics will solve that problem among othersJanuary 29, 2009 3:38 am at 3:38 am #1026572JewessMember
Reading through this thread makes me wonder- what do you do at weddings or engagement parties? Do you not look at the bride or groom?
I think if you visit the site, you’re there for the pictures too. If you feel it’s the wrong thing to do, don’t go there just like you wouldn’t go anywhere you feel you shouldn’t be. Besides, doesn’t YWN have a simcha section too (with no pictures ;)?January 29, 2009 4:26 am at 4:26 am #1026573coke not pepsiMember
ya but ywn simcha section is very vague-no posts no a/t just the namesJanuary 29, 2009 4:28 am at 4:28 am #1026574
flatbush27: that wont stop the sickos from being there…theyre still there…it would just b one less sick thing for them to do. u cant change they way u live ur life just for the few sickos out there if they want to post sick things let them…its not hurting anyoneJanuary 29, 2009 4:38 am at 4:38 am #1026575
all right everyone here is what u need to realize:
we are in galus people are going to do things that you do not like if you feel it is wrong just stay away from it i know jews seem to have a lot of power nowadays but so far in thee past history everytime the jews started to get very powerful they got kicked out of the country (or something similar) u dont like what other jews are doing then keep your opinios to yourself and stay away from itJanuary 29, 2009 4:54 am at 4:54 am #1026576amichaiParticipant
i think the thread on os should be closed. only leading to loshon hora. most people are against it, gr8!! closed.January 29, 2009 5:14 am at 5:14 am #1026577
what lashon hara has been said?
we are all mature adults we should be able to listen to what someone is saying and not take it personallyJanuary 29, 2009 5:18 am at 5:18 am #1026578
“No, oomis, that is halacha not a chumra. “
I never said it wasn’t Joseph, so please do me the courtesy not to put words in my mouth. Obviously a picture that is l’chatchilah not a tzniusdig one, is an issue of validity, and perhaps OS SHOULD address that, if enough people complain to them. But there is no halacha that it is not tzniusdig to post a picture of a man and a woman, and if there is such a chumrah, then it is not one that msot people seem to hold by. Anyone who wishes to avoid seeing pictures is perfectly free NOT to visit a site where pictures of simchas are posted. I totally agree with that. But just because your concept or someone else’s concept of tznius includes not seeing a picture of a woman in any publication, that does not make it something that the rest of the frum Jewish world has to accept stam azoy. I agree that some pictures of women (and men) are not appropriate. But you do not throw the baby out with the bathwater. You clean up the bathwater.January 29, 2009 9:35 am at 9:35 am #1026579
Rely YWN has picts of girls on it, did you see the video of Sandra right here? Go to the Photo Album you can see young girls in them. Did you see a pict of the Mumbai Kedoshim right here? I know I did! Is that tznius or not?January 29, 2009 9:44 am at 9:44 am #1026580chofetzchaimMember
RI, about your post a little further up about your nephew: I agree that that is a totally tznius, kosher way of using OnlySimchas but why couldn’t you share those pictures using email? Do the pictures have to be up there for the whole world to see? I understand that sometimes people want to share pictures with family or friends across the globe, but that is not an excuse to have the whole wprld see them. There are other, more tznius ways, to share pictures online, the most obvious being email.January 29, 2009 10:28 am at 10:28 am #1026581
First there are 18 pict of the Upsherin which is a lot to email. You may very well hurt a lot of family and friends which you did not email to for any reason.
When my sister got engaged she did not post any pict. So there is no must post pict policy on O/S.January 29, 2009 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #1026582
RI- its called hichos shmiras eiynayim. id like to keep it better as its not a chumra. its halacha. personally those pics dont bother me but halachikly it should. that is why hamodia, mishpacha and other like papers dont have any women in it.January 29, 2009 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #1026583
“teen. to prevent the plenty of sickos out there, banning pics will solve that problem among others “
No it won’t, I’m, afraid. A truly sick person will respond to the printed information about someone, with or without a picture. So maybe mazel tovs should not be posted altogether…January 29, 2009 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #1026584
“personally those pics dont bother me but halachikly it should”
Again, why? Where in halacha does it say that you should be bothered by seeing a (tzniusdig) picture of a woman in print? Do you really feel that you OUGHT to be bothered by it, but for some reason are not? Maybe that’s because a mountain is being made out of a molehill. If you truly feel bothered, simply stay away from any and all sited where your ainayim may be at risk. I am not being facetious – I understand that this issue is important to you. So by all means, you should take care of your concerns and avoid things that could compromise your being mekayeim the mitzvah of shemiras ainayim.January 29, 2009 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #1026585
your completely right oomis. i just feel the majority of people who use and visit the site do not post pics so the site should cater to the majorityJanuary 29, 2009 8:25 pm at 8:25 pm #1026586
Flatbush27, where do you get that a picture is not tzniuys? If the person is tzanuah, then it’s not not tznius. B”H we have enough halachas and chumrahs, we don’t need to make up any.January 29, 2009 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #1026587
flatbush27, the main reason why the yeshivish papers don’t post pictures is because the vocal minority tells them to. They don’t want to have a pashkavil against them.
I saw a famous picture with the Chafetz Chaim at a train station. This picture had a lady in it. In the biography, the lady was removed. It is stupid things like that that makes no sense and it really turns people off.January 29, 2009 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #1026588
yossiea. your may be right about the papers but i think in todays society to be a little overprotective about this wont kill anyone and if people go off thats their own fault not hamodias and there is usually a deeper reason for them going offJanuary 29, 2009 9:17 pm at 9:17 pm #1026589
Perhaps, but perhaps the reason people go off is because people make things up and “it’s OK to be overprotective and it won’t kill anyone” and if they are questioned, they reply “it’s your own fault for going off.”
If you want to be machmir, then be machmir on being machmir.
I just read somewhere that society today is suffering from a very strong case of BT syndrome. We have to check it before it’s too late.
Also, R’ Falk’s sefer is NOT the source for halacha. I know many people who think that it’s a terrible thing to bring into a Jewish home.January 29, 2009 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #1026590
People will not go OTD because of decent pictures of women in newspapers or anywhere else. If it bothers them, they will not look at such things. it happens that in recent months, I have noticed fewer pictures on OS, but in the past anyone and everyone I know posted their mazel tov pictures from the vort or the wedding. It just makes it easier to share your good news with a lot of people at one time. Sometimes I think we look for tzoros where there really aren’t any. When that happens, I wonder if Hashem kivyachol says to Himself, “They want tzoros???? I’ll give them REAL tzoros.” (JK on this one).January 29, 2009 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #1026591notpashutMember
“Also, R’ Falk’s sefer is NOT the source for halacha. I know many people who think that it’s a terrible thing to bring into a Jewish home.”
Hmmm…last time I checked R’ Falk is a person who has been a posek for 35 years & has printed Tshuvos Seforim.
Who are these “people” who think it’s a “terrible thing to bring into a Jewish home.”?
BTW, following your logic it’s better to have the internet in your home than R’ Falk’s Sefer. LOLJanuary 29, 2009 9:48 pm at 9:48 pm #1026592
i think its the lax in attitude towards certain aspects of being a Jew that we are seeing more of recently. this chill out and relax attitude i think is coming from the american society. people keep saying here that stop making up chumros while in reality its halacha and telling themselves that its only a chumra and only lakewood does it. just because you feel for whatever reason this and that is not for you doesnt make it a chumra.January 29, 2009 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #1026594
You are wrong. There is an increase in chumras that the world did not see ever before. Like I wrote before, it could be the BT syndrome. Then again it could also be that with so many people sitting in learning, nobody knows halacha (after all they just learn gemarah 90% of the time) so they have to be machmir.
They had pictures in Europe, are we frummer than the Jews in Europe? (That is the Yeshivish trump card. I win.)January 30, 2009 12:31 am at 12:31 am #1026595
i think its the lax in attitude towards certain aspects of being a Jew that we are seeing more of recently. this chill out and relax attitude i think is coming from the american society. people keep saying here that stop making up chumros while in reality its halacha and telling themselves that its only a chumra and only lakewood does it. just because you feel for whatever reason this and that is not for you doesnt make it a chumra.
I never heard of a HALACHA that said a properly dressed women being seen in a photograph is halachically assur. Even if seen by people who don’t know her. Please provide a source if you are going to make a sweeping statement like that.
Now, looking at an untznius picture is a totally different ball game. If you see problematic pictures on OS, either alert the moderators, or stop going to the site. As you said, for you its only to satisfy your curiosity to see who is engaged. Do you realize how easy that is to lead to loshon hora? You mention to your neighbor “Did you see who got engaged? Its on OS.” And she might respond “I cant imagine the kind of guy who would want to marry her!” I think that is potentially MUCH worse.January 30, 2009 1:03 am at 1:03 am #1026596
you are correct.January 30, 2009 1:09 am at 1:09 am #1026597
you said that hugging (or touching) is an issue of being “makpid.” And I told you it is not. Shomer Negiah is halacha, not something that some people can be makpid about and some not, or something that is just “l’chatchilah”. It is the law.January 30, 2009 1:14 am at 1:14 am #1026598
Joseph, who said those hugging were members of the opposite gender?January 30, 2009 1:53 am at 1:53 am #1026599
SJS, read the earlier messages in this thread.January 30, 2009 3:00 am at 3:00 am #1026600
SJS, in the engagement section, if you look at some galleries of the couples that are engaged, some of the couples are hugging, not dressed according to Halacha,and the men not wearing Kippahs. Like I wrote earlier, there are couples on all sorts of levels being featured on Only Simchas. It does seem that the main picture of the engaged couples are edited. Only if you choose and go to look at their other pictures(if they have posted more pics)in the couples photo gallery.
Everyone has a choice whether they want to go look at those pictures or not. If you didn’t know about this site, now you do, and if you don’t want to see things that you don’t approve of, then don’t go to this site!! You’ve been warned!! Only Simchas may have pictures of unmarried couple who are touching and not b’Tzinut!! Those couples made their choice of what pictures they want to show the whole world. If Only Simchas are not up to your standards, then boycott them, don’t go to their website. If you have a simcha and don’t want the whole world to know, put the word out to your friends to keep an eye out, and if they see your name, let you know, so you can take the appropriate action to have it removed.January 30, 2009 4:48 am at 4:48 am #1026601
mazal: as i said b4, most of the simcha listings do not have pics, so the site should cater to the majority of users who obviously do not want to see pics so let OS just cancel the pics
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.