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makes sense! although looking at the pictures is alot of fun! its so dumb and they are not even shomer negeyaah., its publicizing a huge aveira!
Is it all pictures you have a problem with or just untznius ones? If its the latter,you can probably alert the mods on the site.
sjs, sorry, I don’t think Only Simcha’s really cares about being Shomer Negiah. Alot of the pictures are of the couples hugging, hand holding, etc. They would have alot of editing to do, if they didn’t tolerate such pictures.
sjs, sorry, I don’t think Only Simcha’s really cares about being Shomer Negiah. Alot of the pictures are of the couples hugging, hand holding, etc. They would have alot of editing to do, if they didn’t tolerate such pictures.
The truth is, I dont go on very often so I dont think I’ve seen pictures like that. Do they have terms of service about pictures on their site?
OS might care if people alerted them to the problem. It would be virtually impossible to check every picture before posted, and many sites have the users self mod.
SJS, I am not sure what OS’s terms of service is. I have never posted, never commented on it’s site. I think they feature anybody jewish (I hope they are jewish), no matter what level of yiddishkeit they may be on.
Let me tell you why I do like the pict: on o/s. My now 5 yrs old nephew was very sick when he was a baby. At the age of 9 months old he weighed what a 5-6 month old should weigh. At one point we did not know if he would make it. I think he had 3 or 4 surgeries. His Upsherin pict: still bring a tear to my eyes. I live in Providence RI my brother in Chicago and I was not there but with the picts I can share in that Simch. P.S. I am a man. 🙂
RI very moving story but he could have emailed u the pics
RI, why couldnt they just email the pictures to you or share them through picasa? I’m not saying that isnt a legitimate reason to post pictures on OS but thats an easy one to find other ways for.
oomis: i want to be on the site to see if anyone i know is engaged or married or whatever. why cant it be done in a tzniusdika manner. even if the pic is not tasteless its still not tznius for the whole world to see you.
Why? What exactly do you find immodest? I think there might be an inyan that people are afraid of ayin hara for some reason. If there are pictures of people hugging or whatever, then a person who is makpid should not be looking at those pictures. But if you are going to see pictures of your friend’s vort (though if they believe as you do, then there are no pics there, either, so again, what’s the kasha?), then you are not there to look at strangers. people who care about it, will not post pics. People who DO want to post, clearly do not care who sees their pictures. Either way, I think there are far more serious tznius issues, though i recognize that this bothers you a great deal.
Incidentally, do you feel it is untzniusdig for say Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis to have her picture appear in the Jewish Press every week. Should she stop speaking in public, because many people consider that, too, to be untzniusdig? Should Devorah Haneviah refrained from leading Klal Yisroel in Sefer Shoftim? Not only was she the shofetes, she led the army into battle. For every notion that something is untzniusdig, there might be a different opinion that is ain’t necessarily so. Actually, I am more concerned with ayin hara being a good reason for not doing this.
oomis, i guess ugly people don’t have to worry. no one’s gonna be jealous anyway 🙂
im simply going there to see if anyone i know is making a simcha. thats it.
If they are important to you (not some random person you once knew) wouldnt you know that they were engaged?
There is nothing wrong with that. Many people though use it to see pictures of their friend’s or relatives fiance/es that they might not be able to meet for whatever reason. If they arent sensitive to the pictures, I would say that their desire to “meet” the other person trumps your curiosity of random people.
I do think that if only simchas would have moderators who screen posts and pictures posted ( shomer negiah ones) it would be a great site. Perhaps YWN mods could give moderating lessons (for an hourly fee, of course :P)
I charge more than they can afford 🙂
oomis: “If there are pictures of people hugging or whatever, then a person who is makpid should not be looking at those pictures.”
No, oomis, that is halacha not a chumra.
“oomis: im simply going there to see if anyone i know is making a simcha. thats it. i dont feel the need to see their pics of it and while there i dont need to see some engaged couple hugging. there is something called Shomer Aiynayim. why dont the yeshivish papers have any women in it? bec. people dont want to see it and are makpid on shomer aiynayim. Regarding the JP, personally I have no problem with Reb Jungreis’s pic but some of the sheitil ads and others are not appropriate which is why you will not really find it in the yeshivish and chasidish homes while hamodia and mishpacha is generally found in these homes. there is no point going back and force. i agree with hamodia and mishpacha and yated and the such for no pics of women at all because its just easier than to say yes to reb. jungreis and no to sheital ads. you apparently draw the line somewhere else. “
Flatbush27, I DO get where you are coming from. If you re-read what you posted, you basically said NO paper should print pictures of any women in them. That is unrealistic, considering that more than 50% of the world is comprised of women. However, I do understand your feelings on this issue and why this is so important to you. You have been brought up with a different mindset from mine, and while I totally agree with you on the shemiras ainayim idea, I think most grownups can handle the sight of a woman in a newspaper. If not, they should not read that particular paper, because it will probably be problematic for them. I applaud your integrity.
i dont understand if someone wants to put up thier pictures its thier poraggative (does that make sense in this context?) if u feel that it is not tznius no one is forcing anyone to go onto the site.
onlysimchas does not rly care whether the pictures are tznius or shomer negieah it is a site where u can find out about diffrent simchas and some ppl like to see pictures. like i said if u dont like it dont go on.
and that weird guy in that story someone said (sorry cant remember who) it couldve been someone she knew and its a private joke between them (dan lekaf zchus) or mayb it really was a sicko. there are plenty of them out there.
Reading through this thread makes me wonder- what do you do at weddings or engagement parties? Do you not look at the bride or groom?
I think if you visit the site, you’re there for the pictures too. If you feel it’s the wrong thing to do, don’t go there just like you wouldn’t go anywhere you feel you shouldn’t be. Besides, doesn’t YWN have a simcha section too (with no pictures ;)?
ya but ywn simcha section is very vague-no posts no a/t just the names
flatbush27: that wont stop the sickos from being there…theyre still there…it would just b one less sick thing for them to do. u cant change they way u live ur life just for the few sickos out there if they want to post sick things let them…its not hurting anyone
all right everyone here is what u need to realize:
we are in galus people are going to do things that you do not like if you feel it is wrong just stay away from it i know jews seem to have a lot of power nowadays but so far in thee past history everytime the jews started to get very powerful they got kicked out of the country (or something similar) u dont like what other jews are doing then keep your opinios to yourself and stay away from it
i think the thread on os should be closed. only leading to loshon hora. most people are against it, gr8!! closed.
what lashon hara has been said?
we are all mature adults we should be able to listen to what someone is saying and not take it personally
“No, oomis, that is halacha not a chumra. “
I never said it wasn’t Joseph, so please do me the courtesy not to put words in my mouth. Obviously a picture that is l’chatchilah not a tzniusdig one, is an issue of validity, and perhaps OS SHOULD address that, if enough people complain to them. But there is no halacha that it is not tzniusdig to post a picture of a man and a woman, and if there is such a chumrah, then it is not one that msot people seem to hold by. Anyone who wishes to avoid seeing pictures is perfectly free NOT to visit a site where pictures of simchas are posted. I totally agree with that. But just because your concept or someone else’s concept of tznius includes not seeing a picture of a woman in any publication, that does not make it something that the rest of the frum Jewish world has to accept stam azoy. I agree that some pictures of women (and men) are not appropriate. But you do not throw the baby out with the bathwater. You clean up the bathwater.
Rely YWN has picts of girls on it, did you see the video of Sandra right here? Go to the Photo Album you can see young girls in them. Did you see a pict of the Mumbai Kedoshim right here? I know I did! Is that tznius or not?
RI, about your post a little further up about your nephew: I agree that that is a totally tznius, kosher way of using OnlySimchas but why couldn’t you share those pictures using email? Do the pictures have to be up there for the whole world to see? I understand that sometimes people want to share pictures with family or friends across the globe, but that is not an excuse to have the whole wprld see them. There are other, more tznius ways, to share pictures online, the most obvious being email.
First there are 18 pict of the Upsherin which is a lot to email. You may very well hurt a lot of family and friends which you did not email to for any reason.
When my sister got engaged she did not post any pict. So there is no must post pict policy on O/S.
“teen. to prevent the plenty of sickos out there, banning pics will solve that problem among others “
No it won’t, I’m, afraid. A truly sick person will respond to the printed information about someone, with or without a picture. So maybe mazel tovs should not be posted altogether…
“personally those pics dont bother me but halachikly it should”
Again, why? Where in halacha does it say that you should be bothered by seeing a (tzniusdig) picture of a woman in print? Do you really feel that you OUGHT to be bothered by it, but for some reason are not? Maybe that’s because a mountain is being made out of a molehill. If you truly feel bothered, simply stay away from any and all sited where your ainayim may be at risk. I am not being facetious – I understand that this issue is important to you. So by all means, you should take care of your concerns and avoid things that could compromise your being mekayeim the mitzvah of shemiras ainayim.
Flatbush27, where do you get that a picture is not tzniuys? If the person is tzanuah, then it’s not not tznius. B”H we have enough halachas and chumrahs, we don’t need to make up any.
flatbush27, the main reason why the yeshivish papers don’t post pictures is because the vocal minority tells them to. They don’t want to have a pashkavil against them.
I saw a famous picture with the Chafetz Chaim at a train station. This picture had a lady in it. In the biography, the lady was removed. It is stupid things like that that makes no sense and it really turns people off.
Perhaps, but perhaps the reason people go off is because people make things up and “it’s OK to be overprotective and it won’t kill anyone” and if they are questioned, they reply “it’s your own fault for going off.”
If you want to be machmir, then be machmir on being machmir.
I just read somewhere that society today is suffering from a very strong case of BT syndrome. We have to check it before it’s too late.
Also, R’ Falk’s sefer is NOT the source for halacha. I know many people who think that it’s a terrible thing to bring into a Jewish home.
People will not go OTD because of decent pictures of women in newspapers or anywhere else. If it bothers them, they will not look at such things. it happens that in recent months, I have noticed fewer pictures on OS, but in the past anyone and everyone I know posted their mazel tov pictures from the vort or the wedding. It just makes it easier to share your good news with a lot of people at one time. Sometimes I think we look for tzoros where there really aren’t any. When that happens, I wonder if Hashem kivyachol says to Himself, “They want tzoros???? I’ll give them REAL tzoros.” (JK on this one).
yossia,
“Also, R’ Falk’s sefer is NOT the source for halacha. I know many people who think that it’s a terrible thing to bring into a Jewish home.”
Hmmm…last time I checked R’ Falk is a person who has been a posek for 35 years & has printed Tshuvos Seforim.
Who are these “people” who think it’s a “terrible thing to bring into a Jewish home.”?
BTW, following your logic it’s better to have the internet in your home than R’ Falk’s Sefer. LOL
Flatbush,
You are wrong. There is an increase in chumras that the world did not see ever before. Like I wrote before, it could be the BT syndrome. Then again it could also be that with so many people sitting in learning, nobody knows halacha (after all they just learn gemarah 90% of the time) so they have to be machmir.
They had pictures in Europe, are we frummer than the Jews in Europe? (That is the Yeshivish trump card. I win.)
i think its the lax in attitude towards certain aspects of being a Jew that we are seeing more of recently. this chill out and relax attitude i think is coming from the american society. people keep saying here that stop making up chumros while in reality its halacha and telling themselves that its only a chumra and only lakewood does it. just because you feel for whatever reason this and that is not for you doesnt make it a chumra.
I never heard of a HALACHA that said a properly dressed women being seen in a photograph is halachically assur. Even if seen by people who don’t know her. Please provide a source if you are going to make a sweeping statement like that.
Now, looking at an untznius picture is a totally different ball game. If you see problematic pictures on OS, either alert the moderators, or stop going to the site. As you said, for you its only to satisfy your curiosity to see who is engaged. Do you realize how easy that is to lead to loshon hora? You mention to your neighbor “Did you see who got engaged? Its on OS.” And she might respond “I cant imagine the kind of guy who would want to marry her!” I think that is potentially MUCH worse.
flatbush27
you are correct.
oomis,
you said that hugging (or touching) is an issue of being “makpid.” And I told you it is not. Shomer Negiah is halacha, not something that some people can be makpid about and some not, or something that is just “l’chatchilah”. It is the law.
Joseph, who said those hugging were members of the opposite gender?
SJS, read the earlier messages in this thread.
SJS, in the engagement section, if you look at some galleries of the couples that are engaged, some of the couples are hugging, not dressed according to Halacha,and the men not wearing Kippahs. Like I wrote earlier, there are couples on all sorts of levels being featured on Only Simchas. It does seem that the main picture of the engaged couples are edited. Only if you choose and go to look at their other pictures(if they have posted more pics)in the couples photo gallery.
Everyone has a choice whether they want to go look at those pictures or not. If you didn’t know about this site, now you do, and if you don’t want to see things that you don’t approve of, then don’t go to this site!! You’ve been warned!! Only Simchas may have pictures of unmarried couple who are touching and not b’Tzinut!! Those couples made their choice of what pictures they want to show the whole world. If Only Simchas are not up to your standards, then boycott them, don’t go to their website. If you have a simcha and don’t want the whole world to know, put the word out to your friends to keep an eye out, and if they see your name, let you know, so you can take the appropriate action to have it removed.
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