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- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by WolfishMusings.
October 21, 2012 4:35 am at 4:35 am #605364blackhatwannabeParticipant
How similar do two people have to be in Shidduchim? Lets say one is more studious and one is not-is that a good match?October 21, 2012 10:02 am at 10:02 am #900313Yeshivishsocrates1Participant
Kashe zivugo shell Adam Kekriyas yam suf. leave all that to G-d, they tell me he’s got these things under control. Theres no algorithm or fixed set of rules to making shidduchim, however much people may think they are experts, they have no idea which will or which won’t work. All we can do is try and allow hashem to sort out the rest. I used to have a Rebbi who used to say that it’s ironic, the one thing that needs the least hishtadlus is the thing we do the most hishtadlus for. Just be the person you need to be and have some bitachon.October 21, 2012 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #900314Think firstMember
You really don’t explain your question very well, what do you mean?October 22, 2012 7:08 am at 7:08 am #900315MammeleParticipant
I’m not sure that opposites necessarily attract (we’re not talking about magnets…) but too similar is usually NOT good for family stability. Although disagreements and different styles may cause some friction, you wouldn’t for example want both parents to be strict disciplinarians.
The example you mentioned is probably better than the reverse as there needs to be at least one practical spouse, however people do adjust and mature to do what’s necessary so even 2 “studious” partners should be okay. (If you’re just talking about studious while in school/yeshiva it’s a total non-issue.)
So bottom line they needn’t and probably shouldn’t be the same but their personalities should complement each other.October 22, 2012 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #900316WolfishMusingsParticipant
How similar do two people have to be in Shidduchim? Lets say one is more studious and one is not-is that a good match?
I have an idea… why not meet the girl and find out for yourself? People aren’t usually defined by their level of studiousness.
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