July 11, 2012 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #604079
Is there a number of someone who can be contact who can advise someone on how to deal with the fact that a younger sibling is starting to learn from an older, messed up sibling?July 11, 2012 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm #884506
anyone?July 12, 2012 12:17 am at 12:17 am #884507ohr chodeshMember
Throw him out.July 12, 2012 2:25 am at 2:25 am #884508
not an option – does anyone have any constructive answersJuly 12, 2012 2:36 am at 2:36 am #884509popa_bar_abbaParticipant
I wouldn’t worry about that too much. I believe it is more likely that the younger sibling has painful associations with judaism for the same reasons as the older sibling–than that it is because of the older sibling.July 12, 2012 2:47 am at 2:47 am #884510pcozMember
By discussing the issues of the older sibling with the younger siblingJuly 12, 2012 2:57 am at 2:57 am #884511Song of BlessingParticipant
does the older child try to influence the younger one? can the older child be spoken to to try and help them see that they’re influencing the younger one?
Also why is the older one “messed up” and why are you calling it “messed up”? anyone thats going through stages is certainly not messed up – maybe they have questions that need answering. and maybe you should focus on helping the older sibling rather than focusing on the damage they’re doing to the younger one.
if the younger sibling just sees you blame the older one for the influence it will only make the influence a bigger yetzer hara. specially if the children have something against whoever is trying to teach/educate them.
but if they see you try to help the older one they’ll see that this isn’t the normal since that person needs help, and will not necessarily follow…July 12, 2012 3:03 am at 3:03 am #884512
Popa: I actually know a third of the siblings – she’s the one who wants to know who she can call. Its a large warm family and everyone is fine. One child is not so and a younger sibling is learning from that. The one who I know is looking to speak to someone for advice on how to explain to the younger that its really not ok even though they dont correct the older.July 12, 2012 3:03 am at 3:03 am #884513KozovMember
I may be mistaken, and I don’t know your affiliation with this fellow, and I don’t know if it’s relevant to the matter at hand (but it might be), but saying something like “messed up” about this person seems to indicate a lack of sensitivity.July 12, 2012 3:32 am at 3:32 am #884514danielaParticipant
Don’t get involved in something like that, as no doubt you don’t know all the facts. I would tell the sibling with questions that she has to ask her parents and her rabbi.July 12, 2012 5:43 am at 5:43 am #884515popa_bar_abbaParticipant
real israeli: I know lots of families with OTD kids, and every one of the families would be described as excellent families. Until you dig deeper, and you find stuff out.
There are no contradictions in life; you just don’t know always know all the facts.July 12, 2012 2:13 pm at 2:13 pm #884516interjectionParticipant
When people are happy they don’t look for distractions. If he’s learning from the older one, chances are it’s probably the same reason. Talk to each of them, find out what’s bothering them.
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