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Our struggle called life
Our group, and me as an individual, loved getting drunk, high, or using any method of numbing our pain. We sat around in the wee early hours of the morning, which was our time, the time when there were no people around to judge us, or make us feel unwelcome. It was our time to do as we pleased, and we used that time to drink, smoke up, and use any possible means of escaping our lonely depressing reality.
We did things to attract attention to ourselves, things most people in the Jewish community shunned. We would make parties late at night, make noise, and those things would bother our neighbors. So the neighbors would do the only logical thing they thought of, they would call the police. Not only did that not stop us, the only thing it would achieve would be to get us upset, and more withdrawn from the community. Never did they come over to us and talk to us like the mature adults we had craved to be. Never did they ask us about how we felt and why we did what we did. All we ever wanted was to be loved and accepted for who we were, yet every time we would go anywhere we would get that extra-long stare.
Our group was always bouncing around from one place to another. We would hang out in restaurants, pizza stores, and as we grew older, bars and clubs. The older we got the more we got used to the idea that we would never live a normal life. Some of us started getting into some hardcore drugs, and some stayed pretty much the same. Some went on to get over their grudge with society, moved on to new towns, and progressed to have normal healthy relationships. Some got married, and some became religious. Most of us ended up in detox centers, and rehabs, sometimes more than once. And a few of us passed away from drugs.
All we ever were searching for was acceptance. We found that acceptance within our group. I always wonder what some of us would be like now if an adult had walked over to us, sat us down, took the time to get to know us, said some encouraging words to us, and would accept us for who we were. It crosses my mind from time to time, that had that had happened maybe things would be different for some of us.
lmvbh wow thank you for sharing this i know all too well the pain of exclusion and not being accepted, i am sorry for all you had to go through and i hope that at this point in your life you have found some peace and meaning.
I too feel so hurt for all the pain u’ve suffered and give u a virtual hug. I’m sure there were and are many people who would have been so willing to reach out and try to help, to ease your pain, to give u love and acceptance,nut perhaps they didn’t know how to approach u, or just doubted that u wanted their help. If there were some way u and your friends could somehow reach out for help, before concluding that the only way out of the pain is thru self destructive behaviors, and going off the derech, I believe there would be many, many good people out there who would love to help. I too went otd in my late teens, and was lost for over 10 years, but I finally realized that life did not bring me any happiness, only temporary but FAKE reprieves from the pain. I finally realized I wanted to come back, got myself into therapy, git myself a religious mentor, and am now thankfully Frum again and leading a more stable life. If there was one thing I could impart to those in that situation, I’d want to stress that running away from Hashem will NEVER bring any happiness, only more pain. Exploring what made u leave, getting therapy, and surrounding yourself with good, stable and Frum people who care and accept u no matter how u are, is what will help ease the pain and give u back a chance at a happy, healthy existence. Good luck to you and all your friends. And remember, there are good people out there who would love to help.
Omg….I’m about to cry! I wish I can do something! I feel your pain! I’m really sorry! I never really expressed to neone although I am still a teenager…and every time I see guys and girls feel and act they wy u explained it hurts me! Nothing really bothers me as much as this! I wish and Bly ish I was stronger to be able to pull these ppl out and help them talk to them and give them wat they need what they think they are lacking! I try to help my friends with my words but it’s tough cuz I’m not in their shoes and not everyone wants to discuss their issues! I wish I could do more for these ppl! I know these ppl are reaalllyyy special, they truly are! If there’s nothing I or we the ppl in the coffee room could do to help u and those who need our love nd kind words Plz Plz tell us. I’m happy u shared this with us and opened our eyes! I hope things have changed fr u and that u are able to run a new and better life! I’m really sorry!!
letmyvoicebeheard -“Most of us ended up in detox centers, and rehabs, sometimes more than once. And a few of us passed away from drugs.
All we ever were searching for was acceptance.”
Now for some this might be true -for others it’s not. There are a lot of reasons people end up addicted. Almost all addicts feel that it’s not their fault. Sometimes it’s not and sometimes it is.
But whatever the reason, there is no excuse to remain this way.
I’ve worked with addicts and you can break free, if you really want to. You can do this with at least a three-pronged approach.
Get a medical professional that deals with addicted substances. If for example, you’re addicted to Narcs, find s/o who prescribes Subloxone. Most Detox centers are still in the caveman times giving out Methadone, which isn’t too effective. The next step is to join either something like NA or AA. Also going to a therapist who deals with addicts is very helpful. And third or fourth (if you’re gonna do everything till now) is till leave all friends that you have now behind. It’s time for a new set of friends. This is because this will help you break the psych part of the addiction. You are Not abandoning them. You are doing this now to help yourself. You’ll return to be a counselor to them after you have been clean for a few years; and you’ll teach them how to do what you’ve done. G-luck and take my advice very seriously -your life might depend on it!
PS.- If this doesn’t apply to you now -you can show it to others that it does apply to.
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