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Sparkly -“health – if someone says i used to means they probably dont have that thing anymore in your situation you got divorced is what it sounded like.”
I already posted that I got divorced.
“also everyone knows if your all in it for the kids and not for the spouse likely theyll be a divorce.”
Stop making up stories! Especially if you never met me!
health – i didnt see where you posted that you got divorced. i may not know your story but it sounds like thats the reason why its called empty nest syndrome. you probably married off most or all of your children and didnt have a good enough relationship with your wife and you got divorced since you were in it for the kids not the spouse.
Sparkly -” but it sounds like thats the reason why its called empty nest syndrome. you probably married off most or all of your children and didnt have a good enough relationship with your wife and you got divorced since you were in it for the kids not the spouse.”
Wow! You’re the first. You know that I married off most of my kids and I was in it for my kids and not for my spouse?!?
Are you married? Did you ever get married?
Just FYI, I didn’t marry off most of my kids.
But keep living in your little dream world!
I truly hope – you’ll one day wake up!
health – it really doesnt matter if i am married or not. i have taken psychology classes and i have life experience.
Sparkly, I’m sure you didn’t mean your comments to Health the way they sounded – sometimes, when people are writing posts, they don’t realize how they sound – but I think it was a bit offensive to tell someone the reason you think he is divorced. Maybe an apology would be appropriate.
Sparkly -” i have taken psychology classes and i have life experience.”
So with all that – you now are entitled to make up stories about me and my marriage?!?
Btw, you’re not even close to assessing my thought process!
Also, do you have a degree in anything at all?
Sparkly: if you’d have life experience you’d know to never assume – especially if you can do some research to actually be certain. And if you do prefer to, at least keep your assumptions about others to yourself.
health – im not trying to make up assumptions about you and your marriage im just trying to think why youd talk the way you talk. (once again this is posting since its not a one on one conversation i cant be certain im understanding you right.) Just when i hear someone didnt spend too much time with their wive and got divorced it makes it sound like empty nest syndrome or you werent in it for her only your children. (which is why im a little against shidduchim since i will be marrying a guy who i know WELL and i love while in shidduchim you got out on a few dates barely know the person and get married. i mean im not THAT desperate to get married.)
Sparkly -“health – im not trying to make up assumptions about you and your marriage im just trying to think why youd talk the way you talk. (once again this is posting since its not a one on one conversation i cant be certain im understanding you right.)”
You can’t understand me even with a one on one. Why do you think you have to understand me – we don’t even know each other?
“Just when i hear someone didnt spend too much time with their wive and got divorced it makes it sound like empty nest syndrome or you werent in it for her only your children.”
Just that you didn’t hear that. For some reason you put words in and then you tried to analyze them!
“(which is why im a little against shidduchim since i will be marrying a guy who i know WELL and i love while in shidduchim you got out on a few dates barely know the person and get married. i mean im not THAT desperate to get married.”
I know a guy who does Gittin – and the most ones are the MO’s, not the Chassidish!
The trick in marriage is to listen, and not talk too much!
Ever since you came to YWN – you posted on many topics.
health – maybe they met when they were teens and had no idea what they were doing. but im referring to the ones who met at a normal age and got married at a normal age.
Sparkly -“health – maybe they met when they were teens and had no idea what they were doing. but im referring to the ones who met at a normal age and got married at a normal age”
Obviously you don’t know what the normal age is & that’s why you started a topic on that!
Btw, Chassidim get married when they’re teen-agers.
And the marriage works out!
Look, you obviously need a mentor. If you can’t use your parents, find a teacher or Rabbi to help you!
Sparkly – Health never said that he spent more time with his kids than his wife – that was a misunderstanding on your part which he already explained- so I do think you owe him an apology.
In terms of divorces, I know people from all types of background who are divorced as well as people from all types of backgrounds who are happily married. I have never noticed a connection between the age they got married and whether or not they got divorced. I also have not noticed a connection between how long people dated and whether or not they got divorced.
Additionally, how long people date and how well they know each other is not connected to how they met. You can meet through a shadchan and get to know each other well, and you can meet naturally and not know each at all.
At the end of the day, if you look around you, I think it is clear that dif things work for dif people, so everyone has to do what’s right for him & not criticize everyone else.
If someone wants to make sure that he doesn’t get divorced, the most important thing is to work on his Middos and communication/relationship skills. Observing happily married couples, having a good Kallah teacher, and/or going to a good therapist before/during one’s marriage are all probably helpful ways to do that.
The other very important thing is to get married for the right reasons.
health – i dont need a mentor im too old for that. maybe you need a mentor.
lilmod ulelamaid – right reason to get married would be to have someone care for you. There are people who got married at an older age and got divorced but less common than when young people get married and divorced.
Sparkly – “There are people who got married at an older age and got divorced but less common than when young people get married and divorced.”
You can’t make a definitive statement like that without any facts to back it up. Actually, I think it’s the opposite. Most divorced people that I know got married when they were older!
Getting married in order to have someone care for you is the wrong reason, and often leads to divorce!! If someone is getting married for that reason, he/she is not ready to get married yet!
lilmod ulelamaid – then what is the reason? you need a guy that you like and love and think that you will have a good relationship with and that you can imagine living with for the rest of your live, etc… you need someone to be there for you, listen to you, etc…. and most importantly BUILD A BEYAT NEIMAN BIYISROEL!!
Sparkly -“health – i dont need a mentor im too old for that. maybe you need a mentor”
If you’re too old – so am I.
Your responses are very childish!
Health – excuse me. says you.
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