Overcoming jealousy

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  • September 27, 2011 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #599653
    Sapphire
    Member

    Do you know of any Sefer or Jewish book that deals with overcoming jealousy?

    Thank you.

    September 27, 2011 4:11 pm at 4:11 pm #815376
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    I think the Orchos Tzadikim has a section on it called ??? ?????.

    September 27, 2011 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #815377
    mytake
    Member

    Sefarim that talk about Emunah can help overcome jealousy. It helps you internalize the idea that wahtever is bashert for you cannot be taken away.

    September 27, 2011 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #815378
    observanteen
    Member

    I too, struggle with jealousy and I’d love to hear advice. sapphire: There’s a thread called “Jealousy” in here, I think you should check it out. Perhaps you can make a search. (Sorry, I don’t know how to put up a reference.)

    September 27, 2011 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #815379
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/jealousy

    September 27, 2011 8:14 pm at 8:14 pm #815380
    observanteen
    Member

    Thank you am yisroel chai!

    September 28, 2011 6:06 am at 6:06 am #815381
    Sapphire
    Member

    I finally had a chance to sit down and read through your posts. Thank you.

    Yitayningwut, I think someone else mentioned that to me, I will try to check that out.

    Thanks, Mytake, for the suggestion.

    Thank you for posting info regarding the “Jealousy” thread. I’m not so much talking about being jealous of other people per se, but rather of certain positive qualities that certain people possess…Thank you, though.

    September 28, 2011 4:38 pm at 4:38 pm #815383
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Sapphire-

    If you are talking about qualities that are not really possible for you to acquire, such as looks, personality, etc., then perhaps what you really need to work on is not overcoming jealousy but rather recognizing the value of you. I don’t know you from a hole in the wall but I am sure that you are a unique, special individual, who just needs to refocus a little and recognize his/her(?) own value. There are plenty of books on this subject, because it is something a lot of people tend to lose perspective on. Rabbi A. J. Twerski’s books are very good, and I’m sure others here have more recommendations.

    September 28, 2011 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #815384
    Sapphire
    Member

    Thank you, but no, that’s not exactly what I mean. I am aware of many of my Ma’alos and Chisronos and am grateful that Hashem made me the way I am. Baruch Hashem, I think my self-esteem is ok…although it can’t hurt to check out those books.

    As I am working on improving myself in a few areas, at times I feel what I think is jealousy of certain people who naturally have (or seem to naturally have) this quality or characteristic. I am not jealous of them in general and would not want to trade my life for theirs, I just sometimes wish I could be better in these areas, like they are.

    Thank you, Mods, for fixing my other post.

    September 28, 2011 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #815385
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Sapphire-

    In that case, if I am understanding you correctly, I honestly don’t think it’s a bad thing. The Gemara darshens the words “[and you shall love Hashem] with all of your heart” and says it means “with your yetzer tov and your yetzer hara.” How can you serve Hashem with your yetzer hara? Exactly this way. You take jealousy, a power of the yetzer hara, and you channel it to be envious of the good attributes of others. The Gemara says that one should always involve oneself in Torah and Mitzvos without the right intentions (e.g. in order to be looked upon nicely by others, etc. – Rashi), because it will ultimately lead to the right intentions. Don’t feel bad that something you are doing might be partially a result of envy and not purely because you are “holding there.” That’s a natural way of growth. The Midrash says that when Hashem created the world, he created the yetzer tov, but the world wasn’t good yet, then he created the yetzer hara, and the world was good. Seems so counter-intuitive! But it’s along the same lines; without the yetzer hara very, very few people would ever grow. It’s those “wrong” intentions that start us off on the right path, which lead to us becoming better people.

    Everything I have written is straight out of the Me’iri on Pirkei Avos (I don’t have the exact source offhand), though I have seen similar things written elsewhere as well.

    October 7, 2011 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #815386
    Sapphire
    Member

    Thank you.

    I am not so sure my feelings stem completely from this, and there are other areas I need to work on that may cause me to feel this jealousy. I’ve begun reading the Orchos Taddikim so that should be a good start.

    October 7, 2011 2:56 pm at 2:56 pm #815387
    Sam2
    Participant

    Kin’as Sofrim Marbeh Chochmah.

    October 7, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #815388
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Good luck.

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