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Does it rob or build your self esteem?
absan – it kills me.
-Sparkly with glitters and glue
Pair pressure, like studying with a partner?
Or peer pressure, from the community?
If it’s the latter… one good thing about peer pressure is that it reinforces hygiene practices such as teeth brushing and hand washing. Peer pressure also contributes to pluses like birthday presents.
At the same time, peer pressure can also deter individuality by shaming someone for being different —that’s a self-esteem taker, IMHO.
Thank you
What is pair pressure? Is that pressure to get married? neither helpful nor good for self- esteem imho.
Pear pressure?
What’s wrong with the term “peer pressure”? Why is “pair preasure” a better term to describe it?
absan – no one cares anymore. so i do whatever i want and dress however i want but obviously i try dressing nice. you see what?
I think it’s clear that people have to keep other people’s opinions in mind to some extent when deciding how to dress. After all, you do dress to some extent for other people, and you shouldn’t wear something strange and inappropriate. Like wearing pajamas outside, for example.
I wouldn’t call that peer pressure. Clothes by definition have to involve other people’s opinions.
Peer pressure can be positive or negative. It depends on several factors. First of all, are you doing the right thing, the wrong thing or something neutral as a result of the peer pressure? Also, how big a factor is it in your life? Do other people’s opinions totally take over your mind and feelings such that you can’t think for yourself at all? Or is it just that you realize that it makes sense not to be “poresh from the tzibbur” and to do things like your peers do to some extent? Are you doing things that you really don’t want to be doing and you feel repressed or resentful as a result? Or are you just going along with the crowd when it comes to things that don’t really matter?
People tend to think of peer pressure as something negative. But it doesn’t have to be. I think peer pressure is what keeps us as Frum and as good as we are. We are all incredibly influenced by the fear of what other people think. I think that is the biggest motivating factor for most people – much more than Yiras Shamayim. Even when people think they are doing things because of Yiras Shamayim, I think it usually has more to do with wanting to maintain other peoples’ opinions. Proof: People who would never dream of turning on a light on Shabbos will speak Loshon Hara or wear short skirts, etc because those things are more accepted societally. There was a generation when most Frum women didn’t cover their hair. Today, most Frum women wouldn’t dream of not covering their hair, yet, many of those women wear short skirts.
Wear a hat and jacket because there a Inyan for a Ben toira to wear a hat and jacket
the chareidi modern orhodox,
An Inyan?
Maybe they do it because of peer pressure.
absan – exactly like how it sounds. no one cares how i act, look, dress, etc….
lilmod ulelamaid – goyim wear pajamas to school. im ALWAYS at college. if i were to dress having them in mind i would wear jeans and tshirts everyday. so no thanks. i will wear nice pretty tznius clothes.
Sparkly,
How do you know what other people think?
absan – what do you mean that i feel down? as in depressed?
Meno – because they say.
absan – i am depressed… thats what i said before….
absan – no unfortunately. no one cares.
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