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I Work in a Yeshiva and the Phone manners of many Yeshiveshe people are quite bad here are some basics.
1) When Calling anyone,anyplace,anytime devote yourself to the call dont dial the phone and then start a conversation with someone with you (child,spouse,whatever) it is so disrespectful to have someone pick up the phone and say hello and wait for you to finish multitasking.
2)When calling a place of business (and yes a Yeshiva is a business) identify yourself fully when u ask to speak to Rabbi soandso and i ask who is calling dont say Moshe, or Cohen, or something generic state your full name my boss knows many Moshes and many Cohen’s trust me you are not special.
3)Speak loud and clear if i ask you to repeat something there is no reason to take offense, some people wish not to identify themselves so when i ask them who is calling they mumble you are not going to get to speak with anyone without identifying yourself
4) If you ask to speak to soandso and i say they are not in, and i also state i dont know when they will be in dont then ask me when should i call back, whenever u want to call back u are free to do so i am so sorry that i cannot instantly gratify your request just try back another time and hope for the best
iI could go on ad ifinitum but these are the things that pop into my head right now.
Sounds like my chassidishe clients, go to your school 🙂
!!!! I guess its a yiddish problem not an exclusive yeshivish one.
Oh so you are the rude people that answer the phones..
You sounds a little fed up but chill!
Besides they ask when is a good time to call because most people aren’t interested in calling an office a few times til they reach the Rebbi etc. Why can’t you be as helpful as you can?!
Not only Yeshivish any way.. not only chassidish.. Lehavdil not only Yidden at all!!! Just BTW
And remember to chill. The people on the other end have hectic lives too!
Some great points, but I disagree with #4. I don’t know what you mean by “another time”.
You know if your boss tends to come in and out all day long, or if he is likely gone for the day, or if he’s just in the men’s room. I don’t want to phone you every half hour until I reach him. Tell me when to phone back. (Or take a message.)
Say “I don’t know when Mr Smith will be back, but you can try again in (15 minutes/one hour/this afternoon/tomorrow).”
thegoq – Chill Out! Maybe you should work on yourself and even though you dont like they way they ask the question, you will deal with it. If this is how the person talks than thats them. If there is something wrong change yourself dont blame it on yenim!
“some people get very upset if they are not immediatly gratified”
I’m not sure thats the best way to phrase what youre trying to say…
OK, slow down everyone it works both ways and courtesy and etiquette is required on both sides. And it doesn’t only apply to Yeshivas it applies to any and all situations. Firstly callers can be upset and frustrated when calling about and urgent situation so please try to remain calm and understand that
1. You are not the only one calling in with an urgent matter and the person answering the phone is not responsible for your issue.
2. You are not their only client and the person answering the phone might not know who you are.
3. Just because YOU think and feel that your issue deserves immediate attention, the person you wish to speak to might not feel the same way and the person answering the phone does not have control of that situation. The more courteous you are the more that person will be willing to move you along the chain.
4. When answering a call, you have no idea who is on the other end. That client may be extremely important to the organization.
5. That client’s situation may be urgent or costly.
6. It might even be your boss calling in.
So whether your making the call or answering the call, it is of the utmost importance to be as courteous as possible. State your name clearly. Ask who you are speaking to and write down that information!! If the person you are requesting to speak to is not available ask if they have voice mail. Leave a message with the person that answered the phone and then asked to be transferred to voicemail.
When you call back ask for the same person you spoke to earlier. Remind them that you called earlier and what time it was. Aske if the person you tried to reach picked up their messages. If not ask if there is someone else that could help you. If you wish to wait for the original person that is your choice. You can ask to be transferred to voicemail again. And again please remember that the person who answers the phone has absolutely no control over whether the person you wish to speak to will return your call or not. It is also your choice to ask for an appointment to meet in person.
I received a call from someone on Monday night. I answered, said hello, and the person responded “hold one one minute please”. I said absolutely not and hung up.
Most importantly, if you are on the phone with someone, don’t answer the call waiting and leave them hanging there, especially if you initiated the call. It is simply a lack of respect for the person you left hanging.
While I agree with your post, I find this happening by yeshivish, modern and even non jewish people alike. Depends on personality and Middos. Just wondering why you’re accusing only yeshivish people.
Another rule I have to add:
NEVER eat while you’re talking on the phone.
aries – Thanks! That sounds alot better.
Sounds like my chassidishe clients, go to your school 🙂
Sorry Sacrilege but that was an unfair comment. Anybody who ever deals with other people knows that no group has a monnopoly on good middos.
“Just wondering why you’re accusing only yeshivish people.”
Because yeshivish people ought to behave better. They certainly have been taught the importance of good midos.
Because yeshivish people ought to behave better. They certainly have been taught the importance of good midos.
I completely disagree.
Within every community, you’ll find all types of people. And if you only met yeshivish/chasshidish people who DON’T know how to behave, then you gotta meet some more of them.
Don’t stereotype!
deiyezooger
When I made my comment I didnt say anything about Chassidim not having good middos. The OPs description sounded exactly like my Chasidish clients, what do you want me to say? I can pretend that my clients of Italian heritage talk like that when talking to me…. but, they dont.
As a side point, the OP didnt say anything about Middos, she mentioned phone etiquette. Yes, it may be a reflection on the person, but lets keep to the topic at hand.
This may sound obvious and perhaps a bit childish, but please dont answer your phone while in the bathroom, and certainly dont initiate one unless you have sophisticated equipment that blocks out the background noise.
apushatayid, great point!
Equally worse are those few remaining fools who have their secretaries place their calls to line them up. After answering your phone you hear, “hold on for Mr. X” and then wait.
I used to know a CPA who was especially guilty of this including having his secretary continue to extend the wait (i.e. “Mr. X will be with you in just a minute”). This stopped when I told him that he should not call me unless he was ready to talk immediately or I would bill him for my waiting time.
Homeowner
THAT happens a lot! I think thats where they are just trying to prove how “chashuv” they are.
Sacrilege, absolutely right! It also comes from a lack of consideration for others.
Back in the 1970s when the legendary William S. Paley was president of CBS, he was known as one of the few CEOs who placed his own calls, a practice since followed by many others.
TheGoq
Ouch. My bad.
On etiquette:I was on my way out of the bank this morning and because I was engrossed in a phone call,I didn’t realize the door had been opened for me by a black woman.I am very polite to everyone in general,but this woman started shouting:”YOU GOT NO MANNERS!I HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY THANK YOU!NEXT TIME I’M GONNA SLAM THE DOOR IN YO’ FACE!!”
(sigh)I miss Canada.
I agree with #1 and #3 but the others? Come on! So they don’t identify themselves – big deal! If you must know, ask who they are. It’s as simple as that. And like someone else said, #4 makes sense so they can have a rough estimate of when would be a good time to call again.
“As a side point, the OP didnt say anything about Middos, she mentioned phone etiquette”
If you have good middos, you understand how to treat other people on or off the phone.
eclipse
I cant STOP laughing!
apy
Since you missed the words after the period, allow me.
“Yes, it may be a reflection on the person, but lets keep to the topic at hand.”
SAC:
Perhaps you missed my point? Poor phone etiquette simply mirrors the middos one displays off the phone as well.
I was using your sentence to make that point. Was not agreeing or disagreeing with anything else.
apy
“Poor phone etiquette simply mirrors the middos one displays off the phone as well.”
I’m not sure thats always true…
But sometimes, yes, it does seem the case.
I never answer the phone if I am talking to my kids, helping them with their homework or if someone is visiting. Is that bad phone etiquette?
the answer is so simple, no critique, just write a handbook with instructions
Why don’t you ask your bosse(es) what they would like you to do in such a situation. If they want you to transfer anyone then who cares-transfer it. If they want full names then you can say Rabbi…. would like …. Then it is not you.
Goq, for future, please don’t hang up on someone calling your boss or someone in the office. He could be his father, his best friend, his ticket agent, doctor (in which case he would NOT want to say who he was in detail) whatever. You had every right of course, to put him on hold and ask ________ if he or she wanted to speak with someone named Smith who would not ID himself further. Then, the onus goes on your boss, if he says he will not accept the call without further information, which you politely relay to the caller. The ball would then have been in his court.
Woohoo a copycat oomis??
Though i happen to totally agree with that post. Perhaps the caller or the receiver doesnt want anyone else to know who is calling, including the secretary. They have their reason. Perhaps it’s ‘not valid’, perhaps it is, but why not respect their privacy and err on that side? unless said receiver is specific about wanting a full name before receiving calls.
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