May 26, 2013 3:49 am at 3:49 am #609418
I heard for practical reasons and as not to be a tircha for the wedding guests, it is best to do pictures before the chuppah and then do some pictures together after the yichud room. what is your opinion?May 26, 2013 5:51 am at 5:51 am #957075resident of ds9Member
It’s an option but then the chosson/kallah have exactly 10 minutes in the yichud room before they’re whisked away for pics. A different option that most photographers today offer is to take all family pictures and individual pictures before the chuppa. Then, they take just chosson kalla pictures after the chuppa and add them in digitally to spaces that they leave in the family picturesMay 26, 2013 3:08 pm at 3:08 pm #957076
Is there a halachik signficance to doing pictures after the chuppah? Why dont people do pictures beforehand? What is minhag ha’olam?May 26, 2013 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #957077writersoulMember
At the weddings I’ve been to, I think a lot of it had to do with how big the family parties were. At all of my cousins’ weddings, the pictures have been after the chuppah, because my extended family is quite small, so it was quick to take the pics. Non-family weddings I’ve been to, where the extended family is large, usually did things the way ds9 said.May 26, 2013 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #957078
But what is the reason why the chassan and kallah only take pictures after the chuppah and not before? It can become a tircha for the guests and there would be less pictures being takenMay 26, 2013 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #957079ultimateskierMember
What about the minor detail that before the chuppah they cant touch each other so the pictures would be just more vort pics so they take them after the chuppahMay 26, 2013 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #957080MorahRachMember
We did family pictures before the chuppah and ours after. If you take your before, you can’t take any close or touching pictures it’s a poor option.May 26, 2013 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #957081NechomahParticipant
What about the detail that the chosson and kallah do not see each other for 7 days before chassanah?May 26, 2013 9:59 pm at 9:59 pm #957082benignumanParticipant
The minhag is that the Kallah is not allowed to see the chosson for 7 days before the Chupah. Arguably seeing him right before the Chupah is still problematic and should not be done. This is a halachic minhag and a shailo should definitely be asked before disregarding it.
In addition, there is a non-halachic reason that pretending to be husband and wife before actually being husband and wife is anti-climactic and a little wierd.May 26, 2013 9:59 pm at 9:59 pm #957083oomisParticipant
You can only get ONE very first shot of the Chosson and Kallah seeing each other for the very first time in at least a week. If you take pics before the badeken, you defeat that possibility of getting that beautiful moment photgraphed, because they have already spent that time together taking pictures, even though I am sure it is still an emotional moment. Also, the whole touching inyan should not be dismissed. I personally would not take pics before the chuppah, but I DID get my family VERY organized so all the family pics were taken quickly after the chuppah, and we did not belabor the issue with the chosson/kallah pics, either. We did not keep the tzibbur waiting excessively.May 27, 2013 1:39 pm at 1:39 pm #957084
How about the fact that the first time the chosson and kalla see each other for almost a week is by the badeken – where is there opportunity for photos beforehand? Maybe a better option is to do weddings the european way – chuppa and reception in the afternoon, then a break in between and dinner in the evening. We don’t usually run out of time for photos or keep people waiting that way and it gives the guests chance to have a rest, especially those who have travelledMay 27, 2013 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #957085🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
****mazel tov notasheep****May 28, 2013 1:44 am at 1:44 am #957086Im_jewish_and_I_know_itMember
Most before and some after 🙂May 28, 2013 9:25 am at 9:25 am #957088
Syag – thank you!May 28, 2013 1:02 pm at 1:02 pm #957089
My post got deleted? Can I add instructions how to Google an article that backs up what I said?
You can quote someone else as saying that. But you cannot say that.May 28, 2013 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #957090
So what am I allowed to say? That this can’t be found anywhere in Shulchan Aruch or the Nosei Keilim? That, B’pashtus, not seeing each other when you want to for 7 days could create an issue of Dam Chimud? That there are several well-known stories of people meeting with their Kallah and R’ Moshe for a Brachah less than a week before their wedding? I’m not saying it’s a bad idea or not to do it. But we do need to realize that it’s not a Halachic necessity.
You can say all that.May 28, 2013 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #957091
Thank you. When I find the article again and read over it to make sure I still agree with it I’ll give instructions on how to find it and/or paraphrase what it says.May 28, 2013 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #957092gavra_at_workParticipant
Pictures before or after the chuppah
Either way is acceptable. What is not acceptable is when your guests are waiting for over an hour for the Chassan & Kallah to come out. I have even been to weddings where the “break was two or more hours. There are always excuses (Cousin just showed up, baby spit up and needs a new gown, imp ran out of red ink, etc.) but remember when people think of your wedding, they will not remember how nice it was, but how long it took.
What about the minor detail that before the chuppah they cant touch each other so the pictures would be just more vort pics so they take them after the chuppah
I can not understand for the life of me how taking pictures of the Chassan and Kallah “touching” is considered Tznius.May 28, 2013 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #957093benignumanParticipant
The point of the minhag is to avoid a problem of Dam Chimud. I am confused how you feel it is doing the opposite.May 28, 2013 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #957094NechomahParticipant
Sam2, while there may be heterim for the chosson and kallah seeing each other during the week before the chassanah for something important like going to a godol for a brocho (but why couldn’t they find time to go before this last week?), but should we just throw this inyan out because of taking pictures before the chuppah in order not to inconvenience people?May 28, 2013 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #957095
Look at the Gemara about Dam Chimud. It’s clear there’s no Dam Chimud when she’s used to seeing him. It’s clear that Dam Chimud comes from being able to see him again after a period of not seeing him. The Minhag actually creates serious Dam Chimud issue, not solves them.May 28, 2013 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #957096
gaw – very clever!May 28, 2013 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #957097gavra_at_workParticipant
notasheep – Thank you.June 4, 2013 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #957098
But lets say it will be a tircha for the tzibur to do pictures after plus there will be extra tension for the parents to do photoshopping, is it worth it to break minha yisrael? additionally, there will be less pictures then if not before the chuppahJune 5, 2013 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #957099oomisParticipant
Take all your pictures MINUS the chosson and kallah together, before the chuppah. Then afterwards just take immediate family with both chosson and kallah. If you make sure in advance that the people you weant in pictures are ALL still in the chuppah room (or wherever the pics will be taken) and you don’t have to waste time tracking down a missing aunt and uncle or some other extraneous family member, AND if your photographer knows what he’s doing, it shouldn’t take so long.June 5, 2013 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #957100
But isnt it just a minhagJune 5, 2013 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #957101
Ah. Thank you for reminding me about this thread. Mods, please allow the link. It’s from the OU website.
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