Please advise me re: how to handle power struggles

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  • #610313

    I am involved for the time with CPS. Child protective services. and They have employed over me and my children a supervisor/SS agent/Nazi/Military/Detention Center type of young blonde lady with a sweet smile and soft voice.

    She is evil. She is like that southern red neck type of Christian mentality who plays to the tune of “….miss henny, is that your book on the floor” “Miss Ruchy you need to sit up”. “yes miss sarah…no miss sarah”. its really annoying how power junkie she is on getting us to follow her orders. If I want to set my bags down in the car she has orders about how I am to do it. IF they want me to move out of the way they will say “Back up”.

    I have a few options.

    But please give me some guidance as how to best handle this.

    I thought of assertively saying things like:

    Miss Laura, you need to stop ordering me what to do.

    Miss Laura, you need to mind your own business.

    Miss Laura, we are actually not speaking to you right now. If we want your opinion we will ask you for it.

    Miss Laura, You are a supervisor, not an advisor.

    Miss Laura, I just want to remind you that you are under the Human rights constitutional Obligations of the states services and that you must stop telling me what to do.

    Miss Laura, you are here to observe and take notes, but not to interupt our flow of conversation and visitation.

    OR : another style I could do is:

    Scream at her “WOULD YOu BUG OFF?” GET A LIFE.

    Or I could just mimick her voice and style and submissivly respond in affirmation each time, as a tyranny on the drama:

    “Yes Miss, Correctional services …ok , baaa, baa. yes master”

    #970608

    The last one

    #970609

    lebidik yankel
    Participant

    That types probably retaliates and backstabs too. You really have my sympathies!

    #970610

    Toi
    Participant

    just think of possible negative repercussions before doing anthing rash.

    #970611

    eclipse
    Member

    Power corrupts. Period.

    Imcha Onochi B’tzara.

    #970612

    akuperma
    Participant

    You need a lawyer.

    #970613

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    1. Did you try asking????

    Tell CPS that you arent comfortable with the person you were given and would appreciate someone else. If they ask why, either tell them that you two aren’t getting along because she has a very (insert adjective here) personality, and it’s causing problems. Or that it has to do with she dosen’t get the whole jewish thing (assuming she isn’t jewish, since you used the word christen) and that it’s hard to coaperate with someone who thinks you are strange and weird for living you’re religion.

    I really don’t know exavtly what you mean by CPS and the situation, but asking is ussually a first try at a solution.

    You arent supposed to coaperate with her? Shes supposed to take notes? Than tell CPS the same thing (my solution above) and wgen they tell you she is just supposed to take notes, then play inoccent “REALLY???? All she does is (insert whatever she does ex. Making comments about things that are none of her buisness or bossing your kids around) I barely ever see her writing notes down! And it’s really not working out, maybe I can have someone who will treat me and my kids a little nicer?”

    All in all, Good Luck! Hope everything works out!

    #970614

    daniela
    Member

    I am not sure you should post on the public internet and I do not think doing so is to your children’s advantage and yours.

    It seems to me you should talk in private to your lawyer and your rabbi.

    #970615

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Get a lawyer and ask the mods to delete this thread.

    #970616

    I don’t know why you are involved with Child Protective Services and I don’t need to know. But it sounds like it is in your best interest to bite your tongue, swallow your pride and go along with everything this woman says. Otherwise you could end up ch”v losing your kids. Hopefully if she sees you falling into line, she will make a good report to her supervisor and the situation will be over sooner rather than later. Hatzlacha.

    #970617

    eclipse
    Member

    She doesn’t need to take outright abuse; it will make her MORE tense with her kids. Easier said than done but: try asserting yourself with a smile (not a smirk) on your face. If she doesn’t take you seriously, then complain formally. A word of caution: ZERO EMOTION. Also, much easier said than done.

    #970618

    eclipse
    Member

    And the way to stay calm is to HAVE SUPPORT, either with you when you address her (preferred) or behind the scenes. SUPPORT = COURAGE.

    #970619

    It just doesn’t sound to me like the situation is one of “outright abuse”. To those who are recommending that the OP protest or even get a lawyer: why? Can you imagine complaining to a lawyer, “my CPS supervisor is abusive!” Really, how is she abusive? “well, she keeps telling me what to do…and she has this annoying southern voice…” I mean, come on!!! It may be that the situation is actually worse than this, but based on what has been posted I recommend to just suck it up since there is no real indication of any abuse or mistreatment happening. It is her JOB to tell you what to do. You may not like her tone, but that does not mean she is being abusive.

    #970620

    eclipse
    Member

    jewishfeminist02…well-written. It sounds like you are talking, and I love expressive writing!

    #970621

    Thanks, eclipse!

    #970622

    yeah, thanks guys and gals. The real only choice I should choose would be to suck it up, with a nice loving smile on my face. I do model before her presence the parenting way I want to model. It does have an effect on her. I guess I cannot “treat and heal her” from her love of disciplinarian/authoritarian power.

    #970623

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Ome of my favorite sayings, “If you can’t kill someone with dirty looks and stones, kill them with kindness”

    Take all your hatred and everything else you feel, and foucs it in into being kind and “sucking it up” its hard, but it sound like you got no choice.

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