August 14, 2008 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm #1236618kollelwifeMember
Ever since the birth of my 2nd child a few months ago, there is something very important I wanted to share, which I hope will help others.
I feel there is a tremendous lack of awareness of a woman’s needs postpartum. How is it that women who just gave birth to their 3rd, 4th, 5th child come straight home from the hospital to their other children, dirty dishes and laundry, and no help? If a man would undergo surgery, wouldn’t he want the best care and complete rest for the next 2 wks minimum? If so, why is a women, who just went thru 9 months of pregnancy with all its discomfort and hormonal issues, hrs of labor, and finally a birth, shouldn’t be entitled to any of that? Why is it that the wonderful post partum care homes are mainly occupied by chassidishe women? Well, the reason isn’t bec they have more money or anything like that. The reason is that they recognize that a “kimpeturin” needs pampering, care, and lots of rest. A woman who just gave birth is not equipped physically or emotionally to take care of her other children and NOTHING will happen to them if they are without their mother for a wk or so and instead being cared for by a friend or relative.
To top this all off, I see many men refusing to even miss a seder at yeshiva in order to stay home and help their exhausted and overwhelmed wives. I don’t care if the wife says she feels fine and is managing. Firstly, the way she feels is not necessarily the way she really is. She is still very weak emotionally and physically and needs lots of TLC.
If she refuses to go away to a kimpeturin home, at the very least, she should deserve a nurse and be able to send her children out for a wk.
Like a very smart woman shared with me: If a woman doesn’t recuperate properly post partum, she will feel it when the baby is 8 months or even a yr old. I personally know of cases where women didn’t recuperate and suffered tremendously afterwards. And when the woman suffers, so does her family bec she isn’t a calm, rested mother afterwards. Especially if she has to run back to work 6 wks later, all the more so she needs to take advantage of every minute of those 6 wks and use them to their fullest in recuperating. Not that she should be running errands, carpool, and sit outside in the heat watching her children and running after them.
I hope this will raise some awareness and would all be worth it if would help only one person.
Thanks for listening.
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