February 24, 2015 5:47 am at 5:47 am #614958nolongersingleMember
If both of us are sure we’re the right shidduch for each other on our first or second date, is there any reason to go forward with or delay proposing on that date?February 24, 2015 6:25 am at 6:25 am #1060898kj chusidParticipant
That’s the chasidish systemFebruary 24, 2015 6:32 am at 6:32 am #1060899nolongersingleMember
Do some yeshivish people also do it?February 24, 2015 11:22 am at 11:22 am #1060900ABS-SAParticipant
If it is the right shidduch, it should withstand a few more dates!
One date is a very short time to make the biggest decision of your lives.
If subsequent dates do derail things then it is clear that it was not the right shidduch!
Hatzlocha Rabbah!February 24, 2015 12:04 pm at 12:04 pm #1060901147Participant
Take your time & don’t act irrational. Too much at stake.February 24, 2015 12:15 pm at 12:15 pm #1060902☕️coffee addictParticipant
go right ahead
we should only see simchosFebruary 24, 2015 12:30 pm at 12:30 pm #1060903☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
That’s the chasidish system
No, in the chassidish system, the chosson and kallah have little idea, and rely on the parents.February 24, 2015 12:45 pm at 12:45 pm #1060904JosephParticipant
I know some yeshivish folks who together with their date knew it was the right shidduch on the first date. (Don’t remember if the vort was after only one date or if there was another date before the engagement.)February 24, 2015 12:56 pm at 12:56 pm #1060905ED IT ORParticipant
Infatuated Troll?February 24, 2015 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #1060906LovelymeMember
Don’t rush. If both of you are positive I’d say at least 2-3 more Hatzlacha!February 24, 2015 2:34 pm at 2:34 pm #1060907flatbusherParticipant
What exactly is the rush? You cannot possibly know enough about each other after two dates to get engaged. Further dating may bring out characteristics that one cannot live with. A flower doesn’t grow overnight; give your relationship time to blossom.February 24, 2015 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #1060908The AccountantMember
How can one be so sure after one or two dates?February 24, 2015 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1060909popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Ah! Reminds me!
When I was in yeshiva, there was an altah bochur I was friends with. He used to always propose on the first date.
He figured: if she says no–no harm, no foul. If she says yes–she’s crazy and he’d better know that so he can break up with her.February 24, 2015 11:51 pm at 11:51 pm #1060910oomisParticipant
My husband tells me he wanted to marry me from the very first date. If he would have expressed that to me then, we probably would not now be married for nearly 38 years kinehora. I would have felt very creeped out, even though I was attracted to him. Except for chassidim who often DO get engaged in this way, it is not the best idea, IMO. If it is meant to be, it will keep for a few more dates, anyway.February 25, 2015 3:05 am at 3:05 am #1060911☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
See, the thing is, popa thinks the reason why it took me (aka the altah bochur) so long to get married is because the girls thought I was nuts for proposing on the first date. The truth is, most of them said yes, and that’s why it took so long.
So you ask, how did I eventually get married?
My wife proposed to me on the first date. I chapped right away that this was it. The l’chaim was that night.
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