Proposing on a first or second date

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    If both of us are sure we’re the right shidduch for each other on our first or second date, is there any reason to go forward with or delay proposing on that date?

    kj chusid

    That’s the chasidish system


    Do some yeshivish people also do it?


    If it is the right shidduch, it should withstand a few more dates!

    One date is a very short time to make the biggest decision of your lives.

    If subsequent dates do derail things then it is clear that it was not the right shidduch!

    Hatzlocha Rabbah!


    Take your time & don’t act irrational. Too much at stake.

    ☕️coffee addict


    go right ahead

    we should only see simchos

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    That’s the chasidish system

    No, in the chassidish system, the chosson and kallah have little idea, and rely on the parents.


    I know some yeshivish folks who together with their date knew it was the right shidduch on the first date. (Don’t remember if the vort was after only one date or if there was another date before the engagement.)

    ED IT OR

    Infatuated Troll?


    Don’t rush. If both of you are positive I’d say at least 2-3 more Hatzlacha!


    What exactly is the rush? You cannot possibly know enough about each other after two dates to get engaged. Further dating may bring out characteristics that one cannot live with. A flower doesn’t grow overnight; give your relationship time to blossom.


    How can one be so sure after one or two dates?


    Ah! Reminds me!

    When I was in yeshiva, there was an altah bochur I was friends with. He used to always propose on the first date.

    He figured: if she says no–no harm, no foul. If she says yes–she’s crazy and he’d better know that so he can break up with her.


    My husband tells me he wanted to marry me from the very first date. If he would have expressed that to me then, we probably would not now be married for nearly 38 years kinehora. I would have felt very creeped out, even though I was attracted to him. Except for chassidim who often DO get engaged in this way, it is not the best idea, IMO. If it is meant to be, it will keep for a few more dates, anyway.

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    See, the thing is, popa thinks the reason why it took me (aka the altah bochur) so long to get married is because the girls thought I was nuts for proposing on the first date. The truth is, most of them said yes, and that’s why it took so long.

    So you ask, how did I eventually get married?

    My wife proposed to me on the first date. I chapped right away that this was it. The l’chaim was that night.

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