Proposing on a first or second date

Home Forums Shidduchim Proposing on a first or second date

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #614958

    If both of us are sure we’re the right shidduch for each other on our first or second date, is there any reason to go forward with or delay proposing on that date?

    #1060898
    kj chusid
    Participant

    That’s the chasidish system

    #1060899

    Do some yeshivish people also do it?

    #1060900
    ABS-SA
    Participant

    If it is the right shidduch, it should withstand a few more dates!

    One date is a very short time to make the biggest decision of your lives.

    If subsequent dates do derail things then it is clear that it was not the right shidduch!

    Hatzlocha Rabbah!

    #1060901
    147
    Participant

    Take your time & don’t act irrational. Too much at stake.

    #1060902
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    nope,

    go right ahead

    we should only see simchos

    #1060903
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    That’s the chasidish system

    No, in the chassidish system, the chosson and kallah have little idea, and rely on the parents.

    #1060904
    Joseph
    Participant

    I know some yeshivish folks who together with their date knew it was the right shidduch on the first date. (Don’t remember if the vort was after only one date or if there was another date before the engagement.)

    #1060905
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    Infatuated Troll?

    #1060906
    Lovelyme
    Member

    Don’t rush. If both of you are positive I’d say at least 2-3 more Hatzlacha!

    #1060907
    flatbusher
    Participant

    What exactly is the rush? You cannot possibly know enough about each other after two dates to get engaged. Further dating may bring out characteristics that one cannot live with. A flower doesn’t grow overnight; give your relationship time to blossom.

    #1060908

    How can one be so sure after one or two dates?

    #1060909
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Ah! Reminds me!

    When I was in yeshiva, there was an altah bochur I was friends with. He used to always propose on the first date.

    He figured: if she says no–no harm, no foul. If she says yes–she’s crazy and he’d better know that so he can break up with her.

    #1060910
    oomis
    Participant

    My husband tells me he wanted to marry me from the very first date. If he would have expressed that to me then, we probably would not now be married for nearly 38 years kinehora. I would have felt very creeped out, even though I was attracted to him. Except for chassidim who often DO get engaged in this way, it is not the best idea, IMO. If it is meant to be, it will keep for a few more dates, anyway.

    #1060911
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    See, the thing is, popa thinks the reason why it took me (aka the altah bochur) so long to get married is because the girls thought I was nuts for proposing on the first date. The truth is, most of them said yes, and that’s why it took so long.

    So you ask, how did I eventually get married?

    My wife proposed to me on the first date. I chapped right away that this was it. The l’chaim was that night.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.