Purim and Shidduchim

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  • #612276

    mavmav
    Participant

    i have been following two current coffee room threads – “hatzolah and shidduchim” and “maybe we should all stop getting drunk on purim” so i figured i should combine them.

    What do the ladies of the coffee room think about those guys who get smashed on purim?

    is it a no go for the shidduch?

    does it make no difference?

    or does it make you like the guy even more?

    #1006842

    jackinthebox
    Member

    im not a lady but i will comment anyway !

    obviosly its NOT a no go for shidduchim because most ppl get drunk on purim yet marrige still happens and i dont think it seems to affect the shiddduch parshah.

    but i dont think at all it would make a girl like the guy anymore cause obviosly thats just stupid !

    what do you think PBA ??

    #1006843

    on purim who cares about shiduchim its a mitzvah to get smashed!!!

    #1006844

    semgirlsays
    Member

    as a girl i would think its ok to a limit of how much a guy gets drunk on purim though it does make a difference . but one thing is forsure IT DEFINETLY WOULD NOT MAKE ME LIKE THE GUY MORE ! who likes drunk yeshivah guys throwing up and acting like fools ! (at least most of the time !

    #1006845

    sm29
    Participant

    what’s interesting is that most of the guys i’ve dated don’t get drunk but just drink a moderate amount on Purim. Then again, they weren’t typical, neither am i.

    #1006846

    ayshoshee
    Participant

    To me if a guy drinks on Purim and gets “smashed” then there is nothing wrong with that. It is a mitzvah for one to get drunk to the point of not knowing the difference between ???? ??? and ???? ??????. The thing that I or any other girl would want to know is “how does he handle himself when he is drunk?”. Is he a happy and loving drunk person or does he get roudy and uncontrollable? That’s what it comes down to.

    #1006847

    ihear
    Member

    look at this from the yeshiva guys point of view. he is in yeshiva all day, all year, assuming he is a good guy he is also learning. when does he have a chance just to have a good time with friends and let it all out? goyim have parties every weekend, when does a nice jewish boy have a chance to have a good time… from a baal teshuvas point of view u guys are taking this way to far, relax as long as he isnt hurting anyone leave him be, he’ll throw up once or twice dance his heart out cry a little to his rebbe and sleep like a baby for two days and before you can say petes potato pie he’ll be back in yeshiva learning again… chill klal yisroel.

    #1006848

    oomis
    Participant

    Most guys who are really drunk act like jackdonkeys. It would not endear them to me. Ayshoshee makes a point, though. How does he handle the drunkenness? Is he a loud obnoxious,boorish one, or just happy and sleepy? (Usually, they are Grumpy and Dopey, though).

    #1006849

    business1
    Participant

    ihear, I’m a girl but I agree with your post 100 percent! It was written exactly as it is. I give the boys who sit and learn all day lots of credit and they certainly deserve some “chill time”

    #1006852

    jbaldy22
    Member

    I am actually an extremely quiet drunk. My wife says she sometimes likes me better that way.

    For a guy to be in yeshiva on purim and not get drunk is pretty abnormal. The only guys in my yeshiva who didnt get drunk were those who were unable to due to medical reasons or because they really couldn’t tolerate alcohol.

    #1006853

    iceandfire
    Member

    My parents host purim parties and a can say that a majority of the guys are really embarrassing. i have only seen few who don’t act inappropriate. So i’m not saying that guys who get smashed are a “no no” but it really depends on the specific boys behavior.

    #1006854

    Woah, woah. Let’s back up here for a minute. There is no mitzvah to get completely smashed on Purim. Yes, there is a mitzvah to drink a little wine. But to go completely crazy and get blitzed out of your mind? Nope. Unfortunately it’s become common, but that doesn’t make it right.

    For those who want to be a solid mentch, have an amazing Purim, be uplifted- listen to R’ Viener’s shiur, listen R’ Wallerstein’s shiur, ask your Rav, do something! Please don’t excuse the behavior. We’re role models to ourselves, the people around us, the world. We’re royalty, in every sense. Follow the Chachomim, make this Purim your best yet. Kol Tuv.

    #1006855

    jbaldy22
    Member

    @classicalmusic

    Actually there are plenty of chachamim who do hold that one should get blitzed on purim … In fact I have seen some extremely choshuv people get quite drunk on Purim.

    #1006856

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    ??? ???? ???? ??? ????’ ???? ????, ??????, ??? ???? ???, ??? ??? ??? ???, ??????? ????? ????, ??? ???, ?????? ???? ??? ????? ???? ???

    #1006857

    writersoul
    Member

    ihear: I think that that means that guys should find a healthier outlet, not that they should get totally blitzed on a yom tov. Drinking should not be an outlet.

    #1006858

    sm29
    Participant

    They definitely do need an outlet, that’s what shpiels are for. There are some good ones out there.

    #1006860

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Presumably this is a purim thread about shidduchim.

    Well in that honor, I present a goldy oldy. http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/funny-information-calls-you-got-about-a-girlboy-for-a-shidduch?view=all#post-142397

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