Purim Graa'men

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  • #595720
    bpt
    Participant

    OK, lets take a (much needed) break from solving the world’s big issues.

    I’ll go first:

    (to the tune of The Adams Family)

    Some follow a Chasidus,

    But all adhere to tznius

    The CR family!

    The big issues we tackle,

    Some comments raise your hackle

    The CR Family!

    Purim is here,

    Pesach is near,

    All day and all year

    The Sem girls are returning,

    The EY boys are glowing

    Shidduchim are a rolling,

    The CR Family!

    #750632
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Really Good! Well done!

    Kol hakavod to:

    Brilliant

    Poet

    Totty!

    #750633
    eclipse
    Member

    Don’t know the tune!

    #750634
    hanib
    Participant

    🙂 very cute.

    #750635
    i am here
    Member

    the words are great but i dont know the tune so i could not sing it oh well.

    #750636
    bpt
    Participant

    If you don’t know the tune, it means you were not TV junkies, back in the 70s.

    Good for both of you!

    #750637
    lkwdfellow
    Member

    Regular Grammen Niggun:

    Purim is a Yom Tov for the Jews la, la, la, la

    To enjoy a good few shots of booze la, la, la, la

    So, put on your Purim hat – shtreimel or turban la, la, la, la

    And fill up your glass with your favorite bourbon la, la, la, la

    Make a L’chayim with alot of kavanna la, la, la, la

    While trying to blur your havannah la, la, la, la

    Of the difference between Mordechai & Haman HaRasha la, la, la, la

    And be m’kayem ad d’lo yadah without a kashah la, la, la, la

    #750638
    bpt
    Participant

    Lakewood –

    Like the 2nd set

    LOVE the 1st set!

    #750639
    lkwdfellow
    Member

    Start with Wild Turkey 80 – very neat la, la, la, la

    Then move along to Michter’s – a little more sweet la, la, la, la

    Go up a notch to Baker’s – which has a great ta’am la, la, la, la

    Finish with Booker’s – which explodes like a bomb!! la, la, la, la

    #750640
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Don’t get shikur with your shnapps;

    You’ll get in trouble with the cops,

    At the Purim Seuda you’ll be fine,

    if you just stick with dry wine!

    There is a mitzvah livsumei;

    not at night, only by day.

    Although you’re chayav to get shikur,

    some hold you cannot do it with liquor!

    Use your seichel, use your brain,

    Even if you’re dressed like Barack Hussein.

    Don’t think that it is no big deal,

    Don’t get yourself behind the wheel!

    If a kid wants to drink should you let him,

    have some booze or even Kedem?

    If you give him a glass or even a quarter,

    Don’t let Ctrl Alt Del know, he’s a mandatory reporter!

    So a freilichen Purim to one and all,

    as we celebrate Haman’s downfall.

    and the great event which did ensue,

    The Yidden did kiy’mu v’kiblu!

    #750641
    lkwdfellow
    Member

    Some poskim hold that shnapps is swell la, la, la, la

    To fufill ad d’lo yadah as well la, la, la, la

    Dry wine gives you a headache in der kup la, la, la, la

    So, stick to bronfin cup after cup la, la, la, la

    But, lamaaseh, you still have drink like a mentsch la, la, la, la

    And not to plotz on the Yeshiva’s bentch la, la, la, la

    So, be sure to drink plenty of water with each shot la, la, la, la

    And to eat lots of holiptches straight from the pot la, la, la, la

    #750642

    there are many ways to get drunk

    but if you mix alcohol your ship is sunk

    stick to one type and youll be fine

    if you want a good drunk do it with wine

    if you want to take it up a notch

    then you should try having some scotch

    go with glenlivet it will do the job

    but make sure not to throw up like a slob

    #750643
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    “Some poskim” is not the same as all.

    So wine is better, as I recall.

    The mitzvah I won’t risk to lose,

    that’s why I stay away from booze!

    You say “a headache in der kup”,

    (Where else would a headache end up?!)

    I learned a remedy from my pa,

    take four “Advil lo yada!”

    I have a sister named Shulamit,

    who really hates it when I vomit.

    So I listen to my rov from shul,

    who says to drink when your stomach is full!

    #750644

    BS”D

    96 per cent is the very best

    So much better than all the rest

    While some say it tastes quite mean

    It really keeps everything very clean

    So if you brech some out onto the floor

    You can go on and have even more

    Because your vomit is so pure

    It is the best cleaner for that very same floor!

    #750645

    BS”D

    Purim is the day for matnois le’evyoinim

    But Fetter Shmiel gibt ochet tzi ashirim

    Even if you are the biggest gvir

    You can get assistance throughout the year

    Make sure you do everything in cash

    And dress like you just got out from a smash

    Put your business in your elte baabe’s name

    That’s how you play the Hymish Welfare game!

    #750646
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The bit about Fetter Shmiel,

    does not belong in a Purim shpiel.

    Gezel Akum’s stealing money,

    something which is not so funny.

    600kilo, you make me nauseous.

    Of zekts un neintziger I would be cautious.

    It’s really awful, to be frank,

    I’d rather have Eau de Javel Blanc de Blancs!

    #750647

    BS”D

    Eau de Javel is best for the frummest

    Even if the taste might be the krummest

    After all it’s under Badatz, or even Rav Landa

    And it makes you very white, like the center of a panda!

    You can use it also to clean the floors

    But drink it only behind closed doors

    After all for many it is quite a reach

    To drink common household bleach!

    For whether you refer to it in English, Ivrit or French

    It tastes like getting hit in the stomach with a battleship wrench

    Bleach really is a great disinfectant, but from the label we see

    It should never be taken internally!

    But first hand knowledge of bleach I have not attained

    For if I tried it, few of my organs would have remained

    The worst I have ever tasted was sour wine

    But I know that sweet is the taste of turpentine!

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