June 14, 2019 10:18 am at 10:18 am #1742391
So rabbi yoel roth of williamsburg has introduced a new concept of making chasunas at his shul, he recently did this fro his son and the entire chasune expenses, from beginning to end cost only $7000 (including clothing jewlery etc etc) what do u think?June 14, 2019 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #1742616lowerourtuition11210Participant
The title says free” but the poster indicates there is a cost.June 14, 2019 8:18 pm at 8:18 pm #1742652
Where do I sign up?June 15, 2019 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #1742677GadolhadorahParticipant
What you pay for is not always what you get. Every year or so, there is another Rav or chashuvah askan who comes up with “new” chassanah guidelines regarding how much should be spent but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. There are still pressures to invite the way too many people, waste money on expensive watches, serve too much food (much of which is wasted) and hire a mini-symphony orchestra. Just think of how much easier life would be for the choson/kalah if all that money were instead put into an investment account for themselves and the family they are about to start.June 16, 2019 12:33 am at 12:33 am #1742749Yserbius123Participant
The old mashkiach of Ner Yisroel, Rav Moshe Eiseman SHLITA, used to make a huge fuss that any bachur who gets married, or staff who marries off a kid, should do so in the Yeshiva dining room like he himself did with all of his daughters (including Rebbetzin Esther Baila Schwarz). He still sadly laughs about how no one listened to him.June 16, 2019 12:33 am at 12:33 am #1742772jerkoq12Participant
$7000 for wedding is considered free.June 16, 2019 2:30 am at 2:30 am #1742795
The wedding night was free, all wedding related expenses such as shtreimel bekishe womens tichel household supplies even shadchanus money and 1 months rent is inclulded in the $7000June 16, 2019 2:50 am at 2:50 am #1742797
Who can people speak to to sign up for this deal?June 16, 2019 9:27 am at 9:27 am #1742820MalachOfCholentParticipant
hey, i’ll pass the idea. at my wedding i want a full beautiful big wedding and not in a shul- leave that for the brissim.
i know it’s a sociaty thing but i’m not the one to jump the boat and please don’t make me do it.
a wedding is a big event in the couples life, they should get the utmost and as many people that are willing to come make them happy,
i don’t think it’s fair to cut them off of what they deserve even if sociaty messed up our views of what deserving is.June 16, 2019 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #1742998
@malach , that’s true however rabbi roth has made a point that chassidish couples getting married, usually at very young ages request $6000 shtreimelach $30000 halls etc and the parents who usually can’t afford it are left to struggle under the burden, (on a side note the chosson Kallah at this wedding were 16)June 16, 2019 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #1743022reform rabbiParticipant
I’d make a chasunah in my living room.June 16, 2019 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #1743024Neville ChaimBerlinParticipant
I think that’s roughly what my wedding cost. I have no sympathy what so ever for the frum people who spend a fortune on stupid stuff to have a lavish wedding and then whine about how expensive it was. It was their choice to spend the money.June 16, 2019 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #1743025reform rabbiParticipant
You’re supposed to spend according to what you can afford without borrowing money that you can’t afford to pay back and without begging. If that means a million dollar wedding, or a wedding with only vodka and getting, either way is good. You can only enjoy it if you’re honest about your means. Trying to impress (nobody) is stupid.June 16, 2019 10:26 pm at 10:26 pm #1743148MammeleParticipant
IIRC the cost of the actual Chasuna night I heard is $1,200.
Paper goods instead of real dishes, buffet style food, “DJ” music, and family and friends chipping in by making potato kugel etc. with students clearing up. And I assume the shul is free.
I believe they’re up to Chasuna number 5. Only R’ Yoely Roth’s Bresolver Chasidim so far. So whoever wants to sign up either join them or simply call up R’ Roth to see if he accepts outsiders. And get some folks to help you with the kugel…June 17, 2019 12:33 am at 12:33 am #1743164catch yourselfParticipant
יהי רצון שירבו כמותו בישראל
The amount of money that is spent on weddings and related expenditures is obscene.
There is absolutely no reason for it. It does not make the married couple any more likely to have a happy marriage (I wonder if the opposite is true).
The person who successfully implements a change such as this one on a large scale will have innumerable zchusim to his credit.
If רבן גמליאל were alive today, he would make a point of marrying off his own children in such a way.June 17, 2019 1:19 am at 1:19 am #1743185bk613Participant
There is a happy medium between lavish weddings costing tens of thousnads of dollars and one in a shul. @catchyourself, why are you insinuating that having a nice wedding leads to unhappy marriages. You make a wild claim yet don’t offer a shred of evidence to support it, not even a plausible theory.
There was an article in Bina magazine a few weeks ago. The author wrote how she now sees lavish weddings in a new light. She now sees all the frum people who make parnussa from these weddings. The responses The article recieved made it very obvious that people are simply jealous of those who have more than them, and IMO that is sad. Klal Yisroel always had gvirim, they give generously to the klal, supporting literally every institution and organization our community has. If they want to make a lavish wedding that is their buisness. If other people are immature and feel the need to keep up with the Schwartz’s, despite not being financially able to do so, that is not the wealthy persons problem. Everyone should make the type of wedding they can afford no more and no less.June 17, 2019 6:46 am at 6:46 am #1743219rationalParticipant
I agree with almost everything written here, but I venture that almost none of you commenters have actually paid for a child’s wedding.
Let me inform you that you are low man on the totem pole. You have hopefully a wife, a chosson and kallah, a mechutan and the dreaded machateinister . The sum you do not want to spend is of no consequence, you are not the boss. Get that into your head. The decisions have been made long before the couple has met, and you did not make them. Wedding in the living room, no band, no fancy shtreimel or sheitel or gold watch, well, good luck. I am rooting for you, believe me.
A few of you (be in the appropriate chassidus) may even be successful in changing society and human nature. But most of you will bite the bullet and wonder where you went wrong. You didn’t go wrong, you were in the right. But life is a bit stronger than your pure intentions. As the saying goes, “Father of chosson or kallah? Keep your mouth shut and your checkbook open”.
This Rav who managed to pull it all off for a paltry sum needs to be regarded as no less than a hero. Spread his message far and wide. Then try it on your son-in-law tachshit who just spent two years in Brisk tilting his hat “just right” while polishing off his astronomical market value. I’d love to see you, I know how to treat a black eye.June 17, 2019 8:09 am at 8:09 am #1743226
Don’t be a patsy and a stooge. Put your foot down. Yes, you can do it. Just say no. You’re not paying more than a very basic sum.June 17, 2019 1:28 pm at 1:28 pm #1743474lowerourtuition11210Participant
rational: remember your wife to the other side is the “dreaded machateinister” (AKA shvigger).
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