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This happens alot and has happened to a friend of mine who was speaking to the said rav in question. He approached the rav (an older gentleman in his mid 60s) after the event in which his “anonymized” story was told , an older gentleman and he said “Why should it bother you we worked out this issue, Issue B on the other hand we need to speak about”.
I know any rov is not a gadol and they are very very human, but how can we put in an effort to secure privacy of such important matters to the kehillah.
I expect the older YWN CR users here to say “AAAH You’re not telling something”. I say you probably need to go to your shul shalos sudos more often and listen to your rov’s drasha more often (the ones that involve personal stories). This happens very often.
TL;DR: I think rabbonim of most kehillahs (not kollelim, though it could be there too) need to keep personal issues which were confided to them private and not hold on to theses stories for the future in which they can be used to spice up their drashos.
I agree, but if significant details can be changed, perhaps lessons can be learned from the anecdote. We thrive on stories of the Baal Shem Tov, Rav Nachman of Breslov & others, where emunah etc overcome trials & tribulations.
But how about this? Imagine a Chabadnik experiences a personal neis involving the Rebbe (pre-Gimmel Tammuz) & the next thing you know, the full details are going to be spread in a magazine? That happened to me. I had to call my parents & in-laws to warn them before some “well-meaning” person called them up & blurted out the story. We hadn’t told our family anything, but obviously they were going to find out. Fortunately, the editor was a friend and asked permission to print, which I did not give. A narrow escape, but it made me realize that privacy is not always kept. Perhaps it’s time to remind those in whom we confide about confidentiality.
The stories to learn from should be told without mentioning any names.
Very often, withholding the name is not enough. Friends and close associates can often recognize the person with enough details. And besides, the person himself gets uncomfortable hearing his private words being broadcast.
I understand the benefit of utilizing the perfect illustration to bring out your point, but you have to be smart about it. This might just be one of those things that enough awareness of a perspective not often explored can be beneficial to future speakers.
Just have some savlanut and experience. One Rav I know starts such stories with “everyone from this story are already niftar, so I can tell it” … Younger rabbis should quote what the learned in yeshiva while they remember it.
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