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  • #592328
    emoticon613
    Member

    i thought it would be nice to open an original poetry section. here’s for starters:

    my guiding voice – part one

    at first

    it clearly

    firmly

    told me what

    to do

    where

    to go

    how

    to think.

    gradually

    it became

    softer

    gentler

    a whisper

    in my ear

    over

    my shoulder

    suggesting –

    this is how

    we do things”

    or

    “nisht kain derech.”

    some decisions

    it made for me

    other i made

    on my

    own.

    now that Voice

    is silent

    except for

    the occasional

    “how was you day?

    and

    “what’s doing in life?”

    but i forever keep

    that Voice

    in my mind

    my heart

    my soul.

    part two

    now, i am

    that Voice

    at first

    i clearlyy

    firmly

    told them what

    to do

    wehre

    to go

    how

    to think.

    gradually

    lately

    my Voice has become

    softer

    gentlyer

    a whisper in

    their ears

    over

    their shoulders

    this is how

    we do things”

    or

    “nisht kain derech.”

    some decisions

    i make for them

    others they make

    on their

    own

    as my daughters

    grow up

    i will become silent

    except for

    the occasional

    “how was you day?”

    and

    “what’s doing in life?”

    it woud be

    sad

    but i know

    they will forever keep

    my Voice

    in their minds

    their hearts

    their souls.

    #695867
    minyan gal
    Member

    Emoticon: Yasher koach. What beautiful words. You are truly talented.

    #695868
    oomis
    Participant

    WOW!

    #695869
    emoticon613
    Member

    thanks. 🙂

    does anyone else have anything else to share? i didn’t intend this to be an emoticon613 showing off thread…well, at least, not only. 😉

    #695870
    tomim tihye
    Member

    Thank you for sharing this:)

    #695871

    that’s beautiful! H-Shem has given you talent!

    #695872
    eclipse
    Member

    Great poem!I’d share one of my own but I’ve had my poems copied before,so…

    #695873
    BOSD
    Participant

    This is kinda different from the first poem here but… I wrote it for my shalach manos, but then I posted it on my blog today so I guess I may as well post it here too.

    A tragedy is upon our whole nation!

    And it threatens to destroy our entire foundation.

    Everyone ponders with great consternation

    What might become of our population!

    The story’s simple, requires no explanation.

    It’s a problem that causes immense frustration.

    Young and old know of the dire situation:

    Eligible maidens still await their salvation,

    but with the bochurim we’ve all got to ration.

    Month after month, filled with girl’s anticipation;

    While burned out boys need a dating vacation.

    Now everyone has come to the realization

    That we need to join together as a nation

    And work to end our sisters’ tribulation.

    Well meaning shadchanim, loaded with determination,

    Expect us to show tons of cooperation

    With our shidduch resume: the ultimate dehumanization.

    “What are you looking for?” is the common interrogation

    For the “nebach” singles, sitting in isolation.

    For the sake of shidduchim, we’ll make any adaptation,

    And we strive to be thin, to the point of starvation.

    And worse, we’ll put up with lots of aggravation,

    Just to go on a list for consideration,

    To get a date with a boy of a great reputation.

    But still- singles sit in desolation.

    What will be with their situation?

    When will they take on roles of domestication?

    ***

    Fear not my friends, this dramatization!

    One day, we too will say with jubilation

    That it’s time to receive our congratulation.

    But until the day we send an invitation,

    For all our friends to join our celebration,

    We’ll settle in for more anticipation,

    And wait for Prince Charming to bring our salvation!

    #695874
    emoticon613
    Member

    i LIKE! just out of curiosity, what in the world did you put in mishloach manos??

    i like how every single line ends in the same letter and sound combination! very creative.

    #695875
    emoticon613
    Member

    ok since this topic is too far down on the totem pole here, i’ll revive it and hope i get a better response than last time. (oomis aren’t you god at poetry? i thought i saw s/t funny by you in the good shabbos section – i could be making that up though.)

    anyway, i wrote this after a couple weeks of therapy…

    on the outside, i smile.

    inwardly, i frown.

    outwardly, i laugh – loud and long.

    on the inside, i cry – hard.

    on the outside, i am confidant.

    inwardly, i cringe.

    outwardly, i sing.

    on the inside, i am silent.

    beaming, grimacing, emotional, reticent,

    lost, confused, hurt,

    brave, believing,strong –

    who am i?

    part of me smiles,

    part of me frowns.

    most of me laughs, loud and long,

    a bit of me cries, hard.

    part of me is confident,

    part of me cringes.

    most of me sings,

    a bit of me is silent.

    beaming and grimacing, emotional and reticent.

    lost, confused, hurt –

    but brave and believing and strong –

    who i am.

    #695876
    blinky
    Participant

    Wow its a real beautiful piece! You are very talented b”h

    #695877
    emoticon613
    Member

    it’s actually interesting – i was convinced i couldn’t write freeverse, but i guess i can! 😉

    #695878
    emoticon613
    Member

    hey, ICOT, you’re also really good! i went over to the good shabbos topic to see if i was making it up about oomis (which, incidentally, i wasn’t), and there you were!

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