Rechnitz – There is no Shidduch Crisis

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  • #1043284

    flowers
    Participant

    Yet she does not have a commandment to have children…

    But has a great desire to get married and have children. More than men. I think the pressure is self afflicted.

    …and I think it is time we valued the women in our community regardless of whether they are married or not.

    In what way would you like to see women valued more? Can you give an example?

    #1043285

    golfer
    Participant

    Patur A A, there is a wealth of miforshim you could have quoted on the creation of Chava and on Eizer K’negdo. (Not to mention on “Ko somar l’veis Yakov”) I was intrigued that you chose the words of the Ralbag “she’hee nivrais la’avodas hazachar…” Powerful words. And very true. But I think that had you typed out the quote in English you would be dodging the virtual tomatoes and rotten eggs right about now.

    #1043286

    Gold
    Participant

    A long time ago on this thread the Moderator (I think) posted a great idea that I would like to repeat here. Not all boys should head to Lakewood. They can stay where they are and learn there until they get married. They can continue to live there, learn and or work/learn. They will get more personal attention from their rebbeim and guidance from their parents if they stay put. Girls who live out of town would not be at such a disadvantage. There were many other positive outcomes of such a plan. Perhaps the moderator can repost his posting that made a lot of sense.

    I would also like to add that if Mr. Rechnitz or anyone who knows him is reading this, can you please indicate where are the details for the $10,000 shadchanus initiative you have promised for qualifying shidduchim. I found it rather strange that there is no website that has the details. Is this a bogus offer?

    #1043287

    Patur Aval Assur
    Participant

    golfer:

    I only quoted the Ralbag because I had already quoted the Akeidas Yitzchak’s view and I thought it would be interesting to quote a polar opposite view.

    #1043288

    ChizukGedarim
    Participant

    To address WestGate, I never said that women should wait to get married and I also never said that a career should be placed before family. What I did say was that it was time that we stopped valuing a woman based on whether she was married or not.

    As to a practical example: I am sorry that I can’t give a story, I can only speak from what I have seen amd heard. Most girls do not feel that they have any value if they are not married. As much as I understand that it is a huge fulfilment to have children, and I agree completely with that sentiment, there is no reason whatsoever for single girls to feel like “old maids” at 22 or for 19 year olds to feel intense pressure to start dating. We need to create an environment where we let our boys and girls develop into their own people and where they are valued by what they do and not by marital status, as encouraging as we continue to be as they try to find their zivug.

    #1043289

    Patur Aval Assur
    Participant

    Golfer:

    Perhaps you’ll like this one better. (Or perhaps you’ll lead the throwing of virtual tomatoes and rotten eggs):

    Tzlach on Berachos 17a:

    ?? ????? ????? ?????? ???”? ????? ???’. ??????? ??? ??? ??? ??????? ???? ???? ???? ????? ??? ??? ?????? ????? ????? ?????? ?? ????? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?? ??? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??? ???’ ???? ?? ??? ????? ??????? ?? ?”? ?”? ?????? ?’ ???? ?????? ?”? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ?????? ?”? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ????? ????? ????? ??????? ?? ?????

    ???”? ???? ???? ???? ????? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ???? ??????

    ????? ???? ???? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ?????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ??? ?? ?? ????? ??? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ?????? ????????? ??????? ???? ??? ??? ???? ???? ??? ????? ????? ?????? ?? ??? ?? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ?????? ??? ?? ??? ?? ???? ??? ?? ????? ??????? ????? ??? ????? ???? ??????? ???? ????? ????

    ????? ??? ????? ??’ ??”? ?”? ?’ ???? ?????? ????? ?? ??? ?? ?? ????? ??? ?????? ????? ????? ?????? ???”? ????? ???? ???????

    [emphasis added]

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