April 8, 2018 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #1503464
Question: for those who have this minhag of not mishing on pesach, is it right or wrong for parents to day to thier married children “dont join us for pesach because our minhag is not to mish and also vice versa is it ok for a married child to tell his parents that he will not be joining them for pesach because this is thier minhag not to mish? What are the minhag parameters and and does hashem really want you to create a sholom bayis issue based on a minhag of not mishing?April 8, 2018 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm #1503650☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Among those with this minhag, parents/in-laws are almost universally an exception.April 8, 2018 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #1503667
Well i know many who who dont and they seem to be sold that this minhag is written in stone.
What i dont get is how parents can say to thier children not to join them because the family minhag is not to mish and i know the other way too where children dont eat by there parents for the same reason, even though they did eat by there parents before marriage. Its mind boggling.April 8, 2018 6:45 pm at 6:45 pm #1503679iacisrmmaParticipant
I have never heard that children do not visit parents or in laws for this reason.April 8, 2018 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #1503742CTLAWYERParticipant
This would be the antipathy of Shalom Bayis………….not eating at parents, children or in-laws during Pesach.
Even those of our in-law relations who don’t eat gebrokhts eat here during Pesach. We prepare foods they will/do eat and warn them which items they should not eat.April 9, 2018 10:28 am at 10:28 am #1503914
I have never heard that children do not visit parents or in laws for this reason.
The discussion here is not regarding visiting,its regarding eating only.April 9, 2018 1:17 pm at 1:17 pm #1504039iacisrmmaParticipant
T22T: If you read the entire “OP”, he uses the word “join” which in my Brooklyn parlance equates with the word “visit”. One of the definitions of visit is “a stay or sojourn as a guest.” Generally when one is a guest it also includes eating.April 9, 2018 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1504086DaMosheParticipant
There was an article written by R’ Yona Reiss, a Rosh Yeshiva at RIETS and the Av Beis Din of the Chicago Rabbinical Council, and the topic of eating out on Pesach. It’s titled “Understanding an Unfriendly Minhag: Not Eating Out on Pesach”. If the mods don’t allow the link, it’s easy to find it via Google.
Mods, are links to YUTorah allowed? If so, here is the link:
http://download.yutorah.org/2016/1053/855409/understanding-an-unfriendly-minhag-not-eating-out-on-pesach.pdfApril 9, 2018 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #1504169yerushalmi in exileParticipant
my parents understand the specific needs of their children and respect the chumros of sons in law, i think all smart parents would do the same. I do know of a marriage that broke up R”l when someone insisted on “brucking” his machine matzah at his son in law’s hand only no brucking table. watch out!!April 9, 2018 4:20 pm at 4:20 pm #1504197
…. I do know of a marriage that broke up R”l when someone insisted on “brucking” his machine matzah at his son in law’s hand only no brucking table. watch out!!
Is this really what hashem wants us to do with his minhagim?
The last thing he wants is dishormony is a yids home and he certainly does not want a divorce resulting from a minhag which was twisted into a minhag shtus.
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