Respected Rabbanim Eating Out

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Respected Rabbanim Eating Out

Viewing 43 posts - 1 through 43 (of 43 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #595244

    ✡onegoal™
    Participant

    What do you think of Rabbanim eating out at restaurants.

    #743998

    Tums
    Member

    I was eating in a restaurant, and my R”Y happened to pass by and noticed me there. Later that day when I was back in Yeshiva he told me a Ben Torah shouldn’t be eating in a public restaurant.

    And that was me eating out, not the R”Y.

    #743999

    mdd
    Member

    Gemora in Bava Metsia 83B shows that Bnei Torah would eat in an eatery (cafe). Rambam paskens that a Talmud Chacham should not eat “in a store”, unless it is shas ha’dhak.

    #744000

    charliehall
    Participant

    What is wrong with eating out in a kosher restaurant?

    #744001

    aries2756
    Participant

    I don’t believe I have ever seen any Rabbonim I know just eating out with their spouse or other men in the neighborhood.

    #744002

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I don’t worry myself with what rabbonim do.

    #744003

    always here
    Participant

    off topic: a few years ago I met Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twersky in Shoprite on McDonald & Ave.I .. that seemed pretty amazing! 🙂

    #744004

    I saw a respected Talmud Chochum in a restaurant with his wife, more than once. It was a quiet type of restaurant, only 1 or two other couples in that section.

    #744005

    Shmuel294
    Member
    #744006

    Health
    Participant

    I saw a RY eating out and he comes from a family of the same type.

    #744007

    guy-ocho
    Member

    I have seen many Roshei Yeshiva eating in cafes and restaurants, many times with a big donator to the Yeshiva and the Rosh Yeshiva is fundraising.

    #744008

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    What do you mean by “eating out”. I have learnt that by modern orthodox, “eating out” has a very different meaning than what chareidim mean when they say eating out.

    I heard this from someone who was a new Rebbi in a MO school. He was surprised to see that the students were shocked to hear that this rebbi would “eat out” in a restaurant with his wife. His surprised was removed when it was explained that eating out meant eating fish in non-kosher restaurants.

    Apparently it was not uncommon, but they saw that their Rebbi was not MO, and surprised that he would “eat out”.

    He quickly corrected their misunderstanding about where he would eat.

    However, I think you have to define what you mean by “Eating out” for the many non chareidi posters.

    #744009

    Not sure why this is even an issue…

    #744010

    The Buzz
    Member

    My neighbor is a big Posek and his wife told me they once had a really stressful day so they went out to eat cuz otherwise he’s always busy with phones, etc. and the whole time they were there pple kept coming to talk to him… Nebach, the poor woman!!

    #744011

    bookkeeper
    Participant

    I have a friend that her husband is a Maggid Shuir. She told me that they eat out – but in restaurants out fo the area so that he wouldnt bump into his students

    #744012

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    I have a friend that her husband is a Maggid Shuir. She told me that they eat out – but in restaurants out fo the area so that he wouldnt bump into his students

    But is that because he’s hiding in shame (because “eating out” is wrong), or is it because he just wants a nice, quiet night out without being disturbed?

    The Wolf

    #744013

    There are halochos about a Rebbe eating in front of his students

    #744014

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Not sure why this is even an issue…

    1) Kashrus standards in a restaurant are not the same as in his home (the same would apply to eating at a simcha).

    2) To some, eating in a restaurant (other than if one is not home and simply needs food) seems like an overindulgence.

    3) To some, it seems slightly unrefined to eat in public, and a rabbi or rosh hayeshiva for practical reasons (for his students to properly accept his words, there should be a certain “awe”) has to maintain his utmost dignity.

    Could you see a difference between eating in an upscale establishment and a local pizza shop or burger place?

    I’m not agreeing or disagreeing, just hypothesizing.

    #744015

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    There are halochos about a Rebbe eating in front of his students

    And yet, I’ve eaten at my rebbe’s house numerous times*. My sons have been at their rabbeim’s houses and eaten there too.

    In fact, are there not halachos regarding leaning on the night of Pesach if one is sitting in front of one’s rebbe? Or was the intention that they would recite the hagaddah with their rebbe and then he’d go off and eat alone?

    The Wolf

    * And no MO he. He’s about as yeshivish as they come.

    #744016

    I know of other Rabbis that do this as well…simply because they would like a private meal with their spouse/kids…nothing to do with it being wrong in any way…Mind you, they only so this on rare occasion, usually they have no problem going out to eat in their neighbourhood for all to see…

    #744017

    charliehall
    Participant

    “His surprised was removed when it was explained that eating out meant eating fish in non-kosher restaurants. “

    I live in a mostly MO community and I do not know anyone who self-identifies as Orthodox here who eats cooked food from non-kosher kitchens (restaurant or otherwise). “Eating out” means eating out at a *kosher* restaurant.

    #744018

    me too
    Member

    A bit off topic

    My son in law at one point drove for a “Heimishe” car service & he had a standing order to drive a Chahsuv Rav & his Rebbetzin to an out of the way park where they had a bit of private time

    I met a friend who inherited his father’s beth midrash walking with his wife while carrying a briefcase. Five minutes later I saw them coming back. My guess they were out for a stroll & the brief case was just camouflage

    #744019

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    But is that because he’s hiding in shame (because “eating out” is wrong), or is it because he just wants a nice, quiet night out without being disturbed?

    I think there’s a third option as well; see my earlier post, reason #3.

    #744020

    RedNails19
    Participant

    “There are halochos about a Rebbe eating in front of his students:”

    “And yet, I’ve eaten at my rebbe’s house numerous times*. My sons have been at their rabbeim’s houses and eaten there too.”

    “after all the Gemara says that ???? ???? ???? ????”

    I think there is a level of respect one should have for their rabbiem ect ect…but this is a bit ridiculous. – what, r they as not as human as we are that they cant be seen eating in public? Are we all “behemos” for going to a resterant/cafe/ or even a pizza shop?

    yes, i understand it looks improper, but judging our talmidie chachamim or rabbiem/ RY for going to a (private) resteraunt is absurd, im sorry. i dont see anything halacha’kly wrong.

    #744021

    sh9888
    Member

    ATT: stop saying “I saw” or “i once heard” as anything to rely on 🙂 only solid evidence – as in a source in halacha

    #744022

    Feif Un
    Participant

    I’ve never seen my RY eat out, but he’s told me that it’s important for a couple to go out to eat every once in a while.

    #744023

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    I think there’s a third option as well; see my earlier post, reason #3.

    You’re right, but in reality, that’s just a particular case of my first option. In that case, he may feel that it’s wrong *for him*.

    The Wolf

    #744024

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    In that case, he may feel that it’s wrong *for him*.

    Would you agree that in that case it wouldn’t be “hiding in shame”?

    #744025

    oomis
    Participant

    Rebbeim have to eat, as do we all. There is no issur on eating. If there were an issur for a Rov to eat in front of his talmidim, he would never be able to invite them to his Shabbos tisch.

    #744026

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Would you agree that in that case it wouldn’t be “hiding in shame”?

    Granted, the “in shame” part may not apply, but it is still hiding because it’s “improper” in his particular circumstance.

    The Wolf

    #744027

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    Charlie,

    this may come as a surprise to you, your experiencesand not proof of anything. I was relating what was accepted as the norm in a large NY MO school.

    #744028

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    I was relating what was accepted as the norm in a large NY MO school.

    And even assuming that that’s true, MO covers a *wide* range of observance. Yes, there are some who might do that, but I don’t think that you’ll find that that’s the mainstream MO definition of “eating out.” Not by a long shot.

    I have quite a few MO friends and when we go to “eat out” it’s always in a kosher restaurant.

    The Wolf

    #744029

    MO are still 100% observant despite what many people here thinnk…If they are eating non kosher food then they may be modern, but not orthodox.

    #744030

    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    Wolf,

    “MO covers a *wide* range of observance”

    Or a lack thereof.

    However, it was not my point that *all* MO do so, rather that there is a significant portion of those self identifying as MO that do refer to eating in a non kosher restaurant as “eating out”.

    Contrary to some posters who feel that their experience is the only experience.

    I was asking the OP to clarify the question because of the alternative meaning assigned to the term used. And which has a very significant bearing on the question and responses thereto.

    #744031

    showerzinger
    Member

    Are they not allowed to eat?? I thought Judaism didn’t have ridiculous rules (like celibacy in Christianity for priests) for its’ leaders!We all see what that leads to…

    #744032

    apushatayid
    Participant

    Assuming the alternate meaning for “eating out is true, does it make sense that one is asking if it is ok or proper for respected rabbanim to do so?

    #744033

    i dont think there is anything wrong with them eating out. they are human beings also and have good reason to eat out. we dont believe that gedolim are in a different world, they are human beings also.

    BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DONT START SHMOOZING WITH THEM. THEY WANT TO ENJOY. BUG OFF

    #744034

    LBK
    Participant

    A number of years ago (back when the restaurant still existed), I ate with my family at the Grand Deli on the lower East Side, and R’ Reuven Feinstein was sitting at the next table.

    #744035

    Rabbi’s need to eat??????

    #744036

    cherrybim
    Participant

    Eating out in public, as in weddings; yeshiva dinners; bar mitzvas; brissim; pidyon haben; kiddushim; vorts; parlor meetings? Eating publically at certain events makes the concept of eating out ok, the rest is PC.

    #744037

    There are halochos about a Rebbe eating in front of his students

    And yet, I’ve eaten at my rebbe’s house numerous times*. My sons have been at their rabbeim’s houses and eaten there too.

    There is a big difference between eating in front of students while serving as an educational purpose (Shabbos meal etc.) and while doing it exclusively for personal/familial enjoyment.

    #744038

    RedNails19:

    absurd, im sorry. i dont see anything halacha’kly wrong.

    We do have a Shulchan Oruch that transcribed G-ds rules for us.

    #744039

    Aishes Chayil
    Participant

    ‘we dont believe that gedolim are in a different world, they are human beings also.’

    Absolutley! they are surely human. But they have to set a certain example,if they want to lead us in the right direction.

    I DO see something not gepast for a respectable Rav to be seen eating out in a restaraunt.

    There WAS rebbe recently who harshly criticzed the very ‘american’ idea of eating out every Sunday night with family members. He said pple seem to forget that a sister in law is NOT sister , and a father-in-law is NOT a father etc. etc. V’Hameivein yovin!

    So Rabonim have a higher standard.

    Tzeey Loch Bikvei Hatzon!

Viewing 43 posts - 1 through 43 (of 43 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.