restaurant on first date???

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  • #1764572

    yehudayona
    Participant

    The Wolf: Of course you’re an unrefined boor. You were raised by wolves.

    #1764642

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    The Wolf: Of course you’re an unrefined boor. You were raised by wolves.

    🙂

    The Wolf

    #1764762

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    I always told my sons to choose a nice restaurant that they liked for a first date. That way if the date was someone not worth seeing again, at least they had a meal they enjoyed for my money.

    My eldest grandson will start dating in the next couple of years and Zaidy will offer the same advice (and pay for the meals).

    I think a young lady should be proud to be seen at a fine restaurant with a date, why hide the fact you are seeking a life partner?

    That said, the boy should communicate in advance where the couple will be going on the date. The young lady should know how to dress. Dress shoes for a restaurant are different than walking shoes for a stroll in the park.

    #1764927

    Pink
    Participant

    To all of you meanies, I don’t know who gives you permission to insult, label, degrade in this forum. She sounds like a smart girl, who can use guidance with her doubts and decision making. We all started out young… Hatzlocha on your dating woes; maybe reach out to kinder wise people in your family who have your best interests at heart!! Good Luck!

    #1764932

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Wow 😮

    Someone made a screen name just to defend someone that the mods said isn’t a girl

    I wonder 🤔

    #1764943

    Amil Zola
    Participant

    Gosh this sure has turned into an entertaining thread. I do hope our fictitious ingenue will return to tell us what each had for dinner, and of course tell us if she will be seeing the young man again.

    #1764969

    Joseph
    Participant

    Amil: Do you reckon it might end up with a Mazal Tov?

    #1765020

    devny
    Participant

    I’ve been trying to tell y’all the goings on, and how things have been progressing, but these nazi moderators aren’t letting my posts go through.

    And by the way, they’re completely wrong: I’m not a teenage boy.

    #1765028

    Talmidchochom
    Participant

    devny… i would have taken you to restaurant also, however, kept you under the table…sans food. Why should I go hungry because of you?

    #1765055

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Devny: If you are not a boy and not a girl, you likely qualify for the new “X” designation allowed by New York, California and Massachusetts for those who don’t have a binary gender preference for driver’s licenses etc. Clearly you are on the cutting edge of posters here in the CR with respect to your dilemma in applying traditional norms for dating, shadchonus,, tzinius, and most importantly, who decides where to go on the first date. Historically, these kinds of issues were raised for a chassidish boy considering dating a girl from a Litvish family but you are raising challenging new questions.

    #1765427

    yehudayona
    Participant

    I notice Joseph hasn’t answered my question. Maybe someone else can. Why is a hotel lobby OK?

    #1765426

    yehudayona
    Participant

    So are you a pre-teen boy or a post-teen boy?

    #1765432

    Amil Zola
    Participant

    Joseph, it’s doubtful unless you want another wife.

    It’s interesting to note devny managed to invoke Godwins law already.

    #1765467

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Yehuda,

    I’ll answer you

    Normal people go out to eat in a restaurant with their family and they can see what ho’w going out on a date if the unmarried guy and girl are sitting with each other

    Normal people don’t go to a hotel in the neighborhood if they’re from that neighborhood

    #1765563

    yehudayona
    Participant

    So go to a restaurant not in your neighborhood. Does a couple who both live in Flatbush go to a hotel lobby in Flatbush? Are there even any hotels in Flatbush?

    #1765575

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Nobody knows the quality of the restaurant that isn’t in the neighborhood and doesn’t want to go to a restaurant that is subpar

    As to your questions about hotel lobbies

    Yes to both questions

    #1765603

    elibellypp
    Participant

    Omg I took out a girl to the restaurant for the first date I did not know you did not like it sorry 😐 lol

    #1765639

    devny
    Participant

    we went out again last night, we went bowling, i was suuuuper uncomfortable the whole time cuz itz not tzniyus, so whenever it was my turn i distracted him so he would look another way. after 5 or 6 times he caught on, so I had to switch tactics, so I said my arm was hurting. So he said maybe we should sit at the bar and rest a few minutes. But that’s a totally pritzusdik place to be, so i said no thanks, ill just kick the ball down the lane instead of using my arms. after trying that, we were thrown out of the bowling alley. then the boy proposed to me and I said yes!! mazel tov 🙂

    #1765638

    Talmidchochom
    Participant

    I think you should have her puke out whatever food she ingested “wrongfully”. LOL

    #1765657

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Devny

    Mazel Tov
    May you build a bayis neeman btrollville

    #1765751

    devny
    Participant

    amen, coffee addict!!!

    my chosson is a wonderful man, his name is Joseph, he’s 46 and has been living in his mother’s basement, but he’s very with it and plans to learn in kollel for 6.43 years, and then become a CEO of finance company.

    im literally on cloud 9!!

    #1765758

    22menachem
    Participant

    who ever you are you are deff not ready for dating restaurants are totally acceptable for a first date. If your too afraid to be seen than. You politely tell him that the place that your going to you not in the mood for and make a suggestion to another place where you would feel more comfortable with. Dating is a two way street, guys are not mind readers to know what places you will be seen or how far out they need to go so that you feel that you wont be seen. However the truth to the matter is that your in the dating world duh the chances of being seen are far greater than you think. In my view your not ready for dating!!!

    #1765812

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    “my chosson is a wonderful man, his name is Joseph, he’s 46 and has been living in his mother’s basement, but he’s very with it and plans to learn in kollel for 6.43 years, and then become a CEO of finance company.

    😂🤣😂🤣😭🤣😂

    #1765827

    devny
    Participant

    22menachem, I appreciate your insight, but it’s too late. I’m engaged! L’chaim!

    coffee addict, and that’s not all! He’s truly a special guy, he said engagement rings are chukas hagoyim so he bought me a full new wardrobe instead, I’m so flattered! 🙂
    It consists of burkas for every day of the week, and a huge variety of tichels in every shade of black you can imagine! Such an amazing engagement gift!!! 🙂

    Can’t wait to see how he spoils me next!!!

    #1765823

    Amil Zola
    Participant

    Gotta love a happy ending.

    #1765818

    Goldilocks
    Participant

    😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

    #1765854

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    after trying that, we were thrown out of the bowling alley. then the boy proposed to me and I said yes!! mazel tov

    Worst. Plot. Ever.

    The Wolf

    #1765862

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Devny, I’m surprised at your reaction to the burkas. You sound more like the type for a niqab.

    #1765866

    Amil Zola
    Participant

    Devny, have you made an apt. for your wax yet or are you just going to wait until you shave your head??

    #1765997

    PracticalPost
    Participant

    While maybe taking you to a venue right near your home was perhaps not the smartest decision, there is nothing inherently wrong with going to a restaurant-in fact you should be flattered! Many guys will not want to take a first date to a restaurant due to expense and if the shidduch wouldnt go anywhere. So the fact he took you to a restaurant means he was pleased with the preliminary research he did, and thought the date would have promise!

    #1766062

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Practical,

    Have you been following or just read the first post?

    #1766093

    yehudayona
    Participant

    I apologize. Devny is too clever to be a pre-teen.

    #1766107

    PracticalPost
    Participant

    Read the whole thread but first post caught my eye!

    #1766172

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @coffeeaddict
    “Nobody knows the quality of the restaurant that isn’t in the neighborhood”

    What a false generalization…………….
    I was born and raised in CT. We did lots of eating out in NYC, not our neighborhood.
    In my dating days, Top Manhattan picks were Moshe Peking, LaDifference and Lou G. Siegel…none of these
    were in the neighborhood, but we sure knew their quality.
    In Brooklyn we often ate at Shang Chai, not our neighborhood,

    People who dine out with regularity know the quality of restaurants outside their neighborhood. The internet has helped provide that information.

    Ancedote:
    In 1972 I had an obligatory shidduch date with the niece of my 10th grade rebbi’s wife. I picked the young lady up at her home in Boro Park. She knew from her aunt that I had driven in from CT after work and that we were going out for dinner. We drove into Manhattan to the restaurant. After being seated and handed a menu she seemed confused with the process. It turns out at age 19 she had never been to a restaurant. The only time she had ever eaten outside of a home was at school or a simcha. She never had to choose a meal for herself from a variety of choices. Needless to say this was a one and done situation. She would never have fit in with my family and lifestyle.
    The rebbi’s wife never bothered me again

    #1766211

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Ctl,

    How did you choose that restaurant over the myriad of other restaurants?

    #1766273

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @coffeeaddict
    How did I choose that restaurant? Many prior dining experiences there.

    My father maintained an office at 500 7th Ave, My grandfather’s showroom and offices were at 1220 Broadway. From the time I was 8 I would take the train from New Haven to Penn Station at least once a month and have lunch or dinner out with them. I got to try most of the Manhattan kosher restaurants that operated below the park between the early 1960s and dating days. All my grandparents lived in NYC and I was exposed to dining the outer boros as well.
    I know that few of my frum friends and classmates ate in restaurants as often as we did, but most of them were from families that had been in the US only a generation or two and were likely to have a stay at home mother or grandmother cooking for the family. My mother was a school administrator in the public schools. My grandmothers both helped run their husband’s business and went to the office 4 days a week. In fact, I can only remember eating meals cooked by either grandmother a total of 4 times in my life (and they lived into their 90s). If we went into NYC for a family birthday or anniversary the celebration was held in a restaurant.

    #1767315

    Talmidchochom
    Participant

    This discussion seems to be veering off from what the initial post from devny so I will try to bring it back to its proper place.
    Devny…I make you a deal. I would take you to the restaurant, however I would purchase a pearl studded leash and keep you under the table while I eat and every few minutes I will throw a few vittles into your bowl. Does this take care of your concerns?

    #1767628

    Redleg
    Participant

    Wow, CTL! What a blast from the past. Lou G. Siegal (I always found that their meat dishes were a trifle too salty), Moshe Peking, etc. I bet that you’re almost as old as I am.

    #1767765

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    “From the time I was 8 I would take the train from New Haven to Penn Station at least once a month and have lunch or dinner out with them. I got to try most of the Manhattan kosher restaurants that operated below the park between the early 1960s and dating days. All my grandparents lived in NYC and I was exposed to dining the outer boros as well.“

    So the reason you went to those restaurants was because you had experience with them

    My quote was “Nobody knows the quality of the restaurant that isn’t in the neighborhood” and in reference to your comment you were “in the neighborhood” because you were used to it when you were a kid

    In general brooklyners wouldn’t go out to queens when they have countless restaurants in the area (save for if they happen to be in queens and need to get a bite to eat, but that’s the exception and not the rule)

    I’m sorry I generalized when I said nobody, what I meant was people don’t usually

    #1767787

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @redleg
    I am old enough to be on Medicare. My 50th High School reunion is closing in.

    #1767786

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @coffeeaddict
    People such as my family, who ate out regularly would new places not in the neighborhood. If we didn’t care for it, no big deal, we’d try someplace else next time.
    My grandparents who lived in Brooklyn and the Bronx had cars since the 1920s, so driving to Queens or Manhattan to dine was not unusual. No one had to schlep on the subway or bus.

    #1768644

    CTLz: dont you know that the shadchanim find the term “one and done” offensive?

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