September 7, 2011 11:11 pm at 11:11 pm #599252
We have an 18-year old boy from Russia living with us for two years while he completes high school. He is sometimes struggling with English, and I am always struggling to emphasize how important learning English is. Perhaps that’s why I found this so funny.
from the Amazon.com site. I edited a few words out for decency sake:
When i first come to America, my english did cause me problems. In Soviet Russia i was strong teacher, my english i know is the best in all of Petropavlovsk. My brother, Mikhail, he say to me, “Nikolai you go to America, they make you rich like czar, kill many bear”. My brother, he is very wise, is greatest toymaker in all of Russia. So next day i wake up, sell my house, say goodbye to wife and children, and go to America to become millionaire.
Then in America, I go to job interview and they say to me “Nikolai, you are not for the job here, you are not the skills we need, your english is poor like child”. I take that man and smash his table, i say “someday i will be greatest man in all of country, your children will wish me their father!”. That day my anger is best of me. It is then i know i must learn better english, so i buy book “English Grammer it is for Dummies” by Mr.Woods. Now i am perfect english grammer! I write letter to
Mikhail, he write back “Nikolai, your english is like so good, you will be millionaire soon! all of Petropavlovsk is proud for you! good luck brother! please send letter when you are president or maybe even czar! Hahaha! also, your wife is killed by bear”. So i say thanks to Mr.Woods for his book! When i am czar your family will be spared! Hahahaha! (is joke).September 7, 2011 11:16 pm at 11:16 pm #807766
That Russian’s English is better than some others’ I’ve seen here…
But there’s always hope.
And the above referenced guide book.September 7, 2011 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm #807767
How come those of us who know more then one way to spell any given word are called the dummies and those who know only one way are the smart ones? Shouden’t it be the other way around?…September 7, 2011 11:25 pm at 11:25 pm #807768
Haha! Begins the fun!September 7, 2011 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #807769
Thanks for the laugh once again 😉September 7, 2011 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #807770
Of course the fun, serious talk is b-o-r-i-n-g!!!!!!September 7, 2011 11:37 pm at 11:37 pm #807771
AYC, thanks for the thanks.September 7, 2011 11:39 pm at 11:39 pm #807772
Hey, dz, you spelled “boring” correctly. You could have chosen to spell it in any of those other unique ways.
What gives??!September 8, 2011 12:18 am at 12:18 am #807773
In the past I once spelled it “board” but was told that it means a “brait”…September 8, 2011 12:28 am at 12:28 am #807774September 8, 2011 2:26 pm at 2:26 pm #807775
Haifagirl is currently working on the sequel and is therefore temporarily unable to post…
Come back, come back, wherever you are!September 8, 2011 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #807776
I think she is on vacation. When I posted it I had her in mind since I believe that good communication skills are terribly important and to forgo them is rude.
A few years ago, a magazine sponsored a contest for the comment most likely to end a conversation. The winning entry? “I teach English grammar.” Just throw that line out at a party; everyone around you will clam up or start saying “whom.”September 8, 2011 7:03 pm at 7:03 pm #807777ToiParticipant
I am all the times funnySeptember 8, 2011 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm #807778bombmaniacParticipant
i write professionally…i like doint it but uts still work so if i make a typo i dont bother correcting it unless its for my professional stuff becuase i just cant be bothered. the smae holds true for grammar and punctuationSeptember 9, 2011 1:07 am at 1:07 am #807779wanderingchanaParticipant
I miss Haifagirl…September 9, 2011 2:01 am at 2:01 am #807780minyan galMember
bomb, Eye think yore riting is onederfull. Eye can sea wie yoo donnt bother fixxin uppp missteaks if u r just gonna poste on this blogg and arn’t gonna get payed four it. Keep up yore gud work cause I lyke wreeding wat yoo rite.September 9, 2011 4:18 am at 4:18 am #807781
Thay larn English in eezy online course.September 9, 2011 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #807782bombmaniacParticipant
lol i dont get paid for everything i write nor do i submit everything i write. a lot of teh stuff i post here isnt ever submitted for publication…i just love you all so much so i insist on imposing my garbage upon all of you 😛 and idk if Ami can really be called “paying” they pay well…10 cents a word…but it took two months until i got the check…2 months, 14 phone calls and an angry email 🙂
earlier this week i sunk to a new low. i took every article that Ami ever rejected and sent it to Jewish Press. THAT i did because i want to ghet paid! i dont like the jewish press…
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