ruint a shidduch

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  • #604846

    elmos world
    Member

    i know sompone who went out with a girl and was unofficialy engnaged and the girl got cold feet and spoke to a teacher of hers who told her that she should just break off the shidduch. the girls concernn was that she wasnt sure if it felt right. he asked his rebbe who told him that they shouldve continued bec it either gets better or worse and within a few dates they wouldve known which way it was going and that the teacher was 100% wrong with her advice. why are there unqualified ppl out there ruining shidduchim? we should have ppl set up that girls nad boys can go to who can really help them and give proper advice.

    #1188459

    shein
    Member

    What does “unofficially engaged” mean?

    #1188460

    Whiteberry
    Member

    What makes the teacher unqualified?

    #1188461

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Give me a break. Who says the rebbi was more right than the teacher?

    #1188462

    Poster
    Member

    elmos world, “i know someone …..”

    Are you sure you have all the details. Before we start knocking teachers, did you hear this story the person it happened to, otherwise details are sure to be missing or distorted.

    #1188463

    apushatayid
    Participant

    I wonder what the Rebbe would have said had she spoken to him, and what the teacher would have said, had he spoken to her.

    #1188464

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Who says the rebbi was more right than the teacher?

    The boy.

    #1188465

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I wonder if the girl got cold feet when she realized that the boy couldn’t even spell “and” correctly.

    #1188466

    apushatayid
    Participant

    She probably got cold feet because the boy still lives in elmos world.

    #1188467

    zen3344
    Participant

    “Ruint”?

    #1188468

    Feif Un
    Participant

    Did he give her a letter that said, “Wud u amry me?” Is that what unofficially engaged means?

    #1188469

    MorahRach
    Member

    Ruint???

    #1188470

    Toi
    Participant

    I think it’s actually a valid spelling, just less commonly used.

    #1188471

    apushatayid
    Participant

    Take the sentence, the chillen ruint the new sofa.

    #1188473

    more_2
    Member

    Maybe the op means unofficially engaged meaning he was engaged to her without breaking a plate.

    What makes you think your rebbe gave you correct advice?

    #1188474

    more_2
    Member

    And if the girls teacher had told her to continue, that would have been the correct advice? All cheshbones are made in shomayim. Maybe the guy just didn’t internally deserve the girl he was engaged to.

    Sometimes pple with status are hollow inside… That’s why superficiallity means so much to them.

    Noone should discontinue a Shidduch just because it doesn’t feel right, I’m sure there was more to it that was going on upstairs… And that she didnt want to disclose.

    #1188475

    REALIST
    Member

    TOI:

    RUINT AINT A WOID!!

    THOUGH THERE IS AN ENTRY FOR IT IN THE URBAN DICTIONARY.

    BUT THAT DOESN’T COUNT. SEE BELOW…

    RuinT

    A level of drunkenness only known the morning after a good bender. A cross between the worse hangover ever and still being drunk. The worse headache, gut rot, just about to blow chunks but you can’t be cause you lost your cookies the night before and there is no givener left but you still so drunk and you don’t feel a thing

    EG. After i finished that case of beer and bottle of something someone handed me I passed out and when I woke up I was ruinT

    #1188476

    more_2
    Member

    I know someone that did not desserve the great girl he was engaged to. She broke it off after realizing what he was really like… Now the guy is having a hard time with the idea that he would never be set up with someone as great as she…

    Lesson to be learned from this: parents stop over estimating your kids. And stop being superficial. Be real/ you will only be fooling yourselves in the long run.

    #1188477

    rebdoniel
    Member

    Mods: The same thing that happened to elmos world’s friend happened to me. Please forward me his information. I would like to be in touch and provide chizuk.

    The girl I was also unofficially engaged to broke it off after 6 months. She claimed it didn’t feel right, either, which is a completely subjective answer. There were no objective answers provided (i.e./ not in a career yet, different religious levels, family, etc.)

    And her answer came less than an hour after she met with a high school teacher of hers (whom is incidentally a JOFA board member). There are just so many similarities here.

    My advice would be to do what I am doing. In the face of this heartbreaking experience, I am using it as an opportunity to make concrete achievements in my life- get settled into a career that pays well (CPA), learn for a year, at least, and make connections with rabbonim, community leaders, etc., while engaging in chesed opportunities, in addition to losing weight. The idea is to make myself as marketable as possible to a girl who identifies as Modern Orthodox and is preferably either a bt or giyoret.

    #1188478

    ready now
    Participant

    The young fellow should know that there is something much better for him, even if this pains at the moment.

    #1188479

    rebdoniel
    Member

    The advice that was given to me after the breakup was from Tehillim, perek lamed. Without darkness there cannot be light, and without galus there can’t be geulah.

    #1188480

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    elmos world: Where are they now?

    #1188481

    Joseph
    Participant

    lightbrite: older singles.

    #1188482

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I’m right here in the CR (j/k).

    #1188483

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Joseph: My my how did you get so optimistic?

    #1188484

    golfer
    Participant

    Take the sentence, the chillen ruint the new sofa.

    By,

    Apushatayid

    Just making sure nobody misses this 4 year old gem!

    There was a girl on the CR flying to Los Vegas.

    Unfortunately, looks like the Mods sent her away. She is gone.

    Pity. Could’ve found a perfect match right here on this thread.

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