January 13, 2013 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #607783PatriMember
Please share stories where you or someone you know (of) said no to a marriage proposal or was turned down when proposing.January 13, 2013 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #9223962scentsParticipant
Why don’t you start with a story yourself?January 13, 2013 11:10 pm at 11:10 pm #922397EnglishmanMember
This bloke I know proposed to nearly every date until he got a yes.January 13, 2013 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm #922398147Participant
So this bloke was smart, as he now has a wife, which is more than can be said of many people I & my spouse know well.January 14, 2013 2:09 am at 2:09 am #922399YW Moderator-42Moderator
I heard that Joseph proposed to his wife under many different names until he finally got a yes. ^_^January 14, 2013 2:17 am at 2:17 am #922400
42 -And I heard he never got a Yes – so he’s not married even though he used a thousand aliases. And you know why? Because you can change the name, but you can’t change the person (personality).January 14, 2013 2:22 am at 2:22 am #922401Torah613TorahParticipant
Englishman: On what number date?January 14, 2013 2:22 am at 2:22 am #922402
cacklesnortJanuary 14, 2013 2:33 am at 2:33 am #922403funnyboneParticipant
lol, 42!!January 14, 2013 2:37 am at 2:37 am #922404medic4092Member
I have had alot and i mean ALOT of girls say no to me. I have been hearing that since I have a VERY close relationship with my 2 kids thay feel that it will detract from a future relationship. Go make sense of that.January 14, 2013 3:17 am at 3:17 am #922405
Anyway, I thought that was the type of thing that only happened in Pride and Prejudice and such… 😛January 14, 2013 3:22 am at 3:22 am #922406ShowjoeMember
i heard of a prank in which a (non jewish) person was taking some else on a date in yanke stadium. he had a bunch of (?friends?) that were following him and they paid for a feww secondes on the screen to say “<girls name> will you marry me , your love <guys name>” or something similar and she said Yes and the guy didnt want to marry her. It must have been hilarious.
so i guess that here the Guy said no (not what u were looking for but he did say no to a Marriage Proposal).
(note: i an not approving this prank, i think i was horrible, and i would NEVER do it, how ever i count resist posting it)January 14, 2013 3:57 am at 3:57 am #922407
medic4092 -Do you mean you asked them to marry or to continue dating? I haven’t gone out with that many women, but I hope the same thing doesn’t happen to me. I feel the same way as you. I try to be as close as I can to my kids. I think that this is a big + in any future relationship. Perhaps there is another reason, but they aren’t telling you it. Anybody who thinks having relationships is bad, other than with them, doesn’t know the first thing about relationships. You should be happy they rejected you.January 14, 2013 2:05 pm at 2:05 pm #922408
I do not think that prank was funny at ALL. What a cruel thing to do with someone oh my gosh.
I have a friend who was in Israel and about to get engaged. Her family flew in, his family was there already, everything was planned. The night before he was planning to propose, they were taking a walk and he mentioned very non chalantly that he hopes she plans to lose weight during their marriage. I guess she thought about this all night, and the next day when he asked her she said no!!!January 14, 2013 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #922409frummy in the tummyParticipant
showjoe – It was a colleghumor vid in their prank war series. I was at the next one at the Terps game. (Good luck trying to find me!)January 14, 2013 4:41 pm at 4:41 pm #922410mommamia22Participant
I don’t think people say no generally because you have a close relationship with your kids. People say no because they think you have an unhealthy relationship with your kids or if you haven’t worked out how the other person will play a role in the lives of your kids and in developing a new family unit. The only kind of people who say no to someone close with their kids are the kinds of people who don’t really want to be with someone, lechatchila, who has kids.January 14, 2013 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm #922411
MR -“The night before he was planning to propose, they were taking a walk and he mentioned very non chalantly that he hopes she plans to lose weight during their marriage. I guess she thought about this all night, and the next day when he asked her she said no!!!”
Is she still fat and single?
All kidding aside; the moral of the story is if her weight bothered him – he shouldn’t have gone out on a second date.
Or at least have discussed this issue during the dating process.January 14, 2013 9:47 pm at 9:47 pm #922412
She is actually married now with a 1 year old! She isn’t ” fat” I would say chubby I guess but beautiful and her husband adores her. The first guy had never mentioned it so she was taken a back. There is also a way to go a out saying something.. That was not the way!January 14, 2013 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm #922413shalom2010Participant
i seeJanuary 14, 2013 10:52 pm at 10:52 pm #922414rebdonielMember
Sadly, many have a bias against heavier girls.January 14, 2013 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #922415popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Sadly, many have a bias against heavier girls.
It could be worse. Men could have a bias against thinner girls, in which case all the women would want to be fat, which is very unhealthy.January 15, 2013 12:01 am at 12:01 am #922416medic4092Member
Health- There were no proposals, just to continue. I feel that girls today are “self centered” (my oersonal assesment). They demand you have a relationship (like a father) to their kids from a previous marrage. but refuse your kids.January 15, 2013 2:21 am at 2:21 am #922417
medic4092 -“Health- There were no proposals, just to continue. I feel that girls today are “self centered” (my oersonal assesment). They demand you have a relationship (like a father) to their kids from a previous marrage. but refuse your kids.”
I’m hoping and praying you’re wrong, otherwise me and you aren’t going to get remarried.January 15, 2013 2:29 am at 2:29 am #922418
MR -“She isn’t “fat” – I would say chubby.”
Who are you kidding? My thesaurus says “Chubby” is a synonym of “Fat”. Why do people say one over the other? Who decided “Fat” is more negative than “Chubby”?January 15, 2013 4:58 am at 4:58 am #922419
For some people, weight influences attraction, and for other people, not so much. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, superficiality or lack thereof. Chazal discuss the importance of physical attraction before and during a marriage. Even assuming the person’s weight isn’t extreme enough to be a health issue, there is no “right answer” regarding someone’s weight influencing one’s level of attraction. However, one has absolutely no right to be obnoxious or tactless about it.January 15, 2013 5:02 am at 5:02 am #922420popa_bar_abbaParticipant
For some people, weight influences attraction, and for other people, not so much.
That’s like saying, “some people like ice cream, and some people don’t.” I’m sure there are a few people who don’t like ice cream, but they are the weirdos and are pretty irrelevant.January 15, 2013 5:08 am at 5:08 am #922421
For some reason the weirdos who don’t like ice cream always end up marrying other weirdos who don’t like ice cream…January 15, 2013 5:09 am at 5:09 am #922422Abba_Av_PoppaParticipant
That’s silly, everyone likes ice cream, some people just prefer different flavors… Fat Flavor Skinny flavorJanuary 15, 2013 5:47 am at 5:47 am #922423
Abba av poppa…. your name… it’s borderline sacrilege in the CR!!!January 15, 2013 5:49 am at 5:49 am #922424
Oh wait nevermind… popa bar abba spells his name with 2 ‘p’s not 3. You must be the father of some other Poppa.January 15, 2013 8:51 am at 8:51 am #922425
There is definitely a difference between “fat” and “chubby”. I don’t think there is too much wrong with saying no to a shidduch because one of the parties is overweight. In my Kallah classes I learned physical attraction is a big factor in a marriage. If weight is an issue say no in the beginning, not once people have spent thousands of dollars to fly across the country for a lechaim! Also the girls feelings were at stake at that point. In general when people say we focus too much of superficiality, I have mixed feelings. There is being superficial, and there is reasonable.January 15, 2013 5:20 pm at 5:20 pm #922426
MR -“There is definitely a difference between “fat” and “chubby”.”
In your mind only. You are differentiating between a little fat and a lot fat. But they both are fat! Most people who care about whether their prospective spouse is fat, don’t want even a little fat. Those that don’t care – don’t care about how fat either, at least to a point.January 15, 2013 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #922427
Health, you could not be more wrong. I can’t tell if you are trying to make a joke or not, but you are wrong. Being 10 pounds over weight is not the end of the world, it does not mean that you like an unhealthy life. Being 60 pounds over weight is grotesque and that person is in serious need of a life style change. When I was dating if my husband had been 10-15 pounds heavier than he was it probably would have had zero impact on me continuing to date him. Had he been 50-60 pounds over weight? No way because he clearly does not value his health/life. Granted not everyone feels this way I know many over weight people who are happily married, I also have friends who are chubby or who’s husbands are a little chubby and I know my friends would have serious problems if their husbands became ” fat” because it is unhealthy and sets a bad example for your children.January 15, 2013 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #922428
MR -“Health, you could not be more wrong. I can’t tell if you are trying to make a joke or not, but you are wrong. Being 10 pounds over weight is not the end of the world, it does not mean that you like an unhealthy life.”
Again, you’re saying I’m wrong based on your own criteria. You decided that you don’t mind 10 pounds overweight, but 60 pounds overweight you abhor. This is your personal preference. Others can have different personal preferences. The fact is if you are overweight – you are fat, whether you personally call this fat by the term chubby or not. (And btw, the latest statistics are being in the category of overweight, not obese, is healthier than being normal weight. See category below. But this is off topic.)
The Gov. bases overweight by people’s BMI (Height together with weight.):
Obesity- 30.0 and AboveJanuary 15, 2013 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #922429
I honesty don’t even understand your second paragraph.January 15, 2013 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #922430
“Most people who care about whether their prospective spouse is fat, don’t want even a little fat.”
Unless you have taken a poll that indicates otherwise, this is simply not true.January 15, 2013 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #922431
Curiosity -“Unless you have taken a poll that indicates otherwise, this is simply not true.”
You took it out of context to emphasize that I’m Not correct when I used the word “Most”. Maybe I’m not correct to say “most”, or maybe you’re wrong because you didn’t take a poll either, but that wasn’t the point.
The point was e/o’s subjective personal preference can Not determine whether s/o is considered fat. Only objective criteria
like the BMI can determine this.January 15, 2013 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #922432
Most people who care about whether their prospective spouse is fat, don’t want even a little fat.
Uh…you do know that that’s a medical impossibility, right?January 15, 2013 8:18 pm at 8:18 pm #922433
OneOfMany -“Uh…you do know that that’s a medical impossibility, right?”
And you believe if some is good, A Lot is even better, Nymphadora!January 15, 2013 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm #922434
Uh…nope.January 22, 2013 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #922436yeshivabochur123Participant
it happened to me. I asked a girl to marry me and she said no.January 22, 2013 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #922437ShiraTobalaMember
Never give up, keep going until you reach the right girl!!January 23, 2013 2:37 am at 2:37 am #922438oomisParticipant
I wonder what the young man would have said had she responded, “Sure, and I hope you plan to keep all your hair, after marriage.”
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