Sephardic and Ashkenaz Weddings

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  • #609282

    Ayayashreichem24
    Participant

    What are the differences in minhagim? I’ve always found this topic interesting and I love hearing about all the customs! Our differences is what makes us interesting!

    #952525

    nfgo3
    Member

    Ashkenaz – bourbon. Sephardim – Scotch.

    #952526

    nfgo3
    Member

    Ashkenaz – vodka. Sephardim – more vodka.

    #952527

    147
    Participant

    Yekkes have one Tallis over head of Groom & Bride, and no Kittel, and they sing Psalm 128 before smashing the Glass..

    #952529

    Nechomah
    Participant

    One of the most obvious is that Ashkenazim have chuppah outside or at least under the sky (some halls have a special skylight just to be able to have a chuppah inclement weather). Sephardim have the chuppah indoors.

    #952530

    Chortkov
    Participant

    147 – I have been to numerous yekkishe chasunas, and yes, the Chosson has no Kittel, they do sing Psalm 128 (I suppose it is 128 although i have no idea; Shir HaMalos ashrey kol yerey Hashem) – and I have seen different minhagim whether they do it before or after they smash the glass.

    What is this about one Tallis over head of Groom & Bride? Never seen that before.

    #952531

    R.T.
    Participant

    Differences in the Nusach of the Ketuba/Kesuba; stems from Machloket Rishonim.

    #952532

    writersoul
    Member

    I was at the wedding of an Ashkenazified Sefardi (guy)- COMPLETELY normal Ashkenazi chuppah. It was pretty sad. (I was so excited for some epic Sefardicness!)

    And would an Ashkenazified Sefardi be an Ashkefardi or a Sfashkenazi? (I love that song!)

    #952533

    i love coffe
    Participant

    Sephardic Weddings:

    -Chuppah is by the Ahron HaKodesh

    -Chattan & Kallah are not allowed to fast on the day of their wedding

    -There is no “Yichud Room” (its considered a “davar mechuar”)

    -There is no “bedeken”

    -Kallah doesn’t circle the chattan 7 times

    -Couple usually faces the guest under the chuppah and the Rabbi’s back is to the guest

    -The “aufruf” is the shabbat after the wedding called an “Avram siz”

    #952534

    writersoul
    Member

    I love coffe- um, what did you just call the Shabbat chatan? NEVER heard of that before…

    #1807378

    RebbeDebbie
    Participant

    Ashkenazi: the women wearing sheitels normally wear a sheitel everyday

    Sephardim: the women wearing sheitels normally wear a mitpachat everyday, but borrowed a sheitel from their Ashkenazi neighbor/friend for the wedding party

    #1807383

    anonymous Jew
    Participant

    Every ashkenazi wedding I’ve ever been to has been indoors

    #1807390

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    Even among ashkanazim the kittel is hidden under the coat. Chupah not performed in a shul, firsr. the chuppa be under the stars wherre the Tiferes Yisroel says that the acronym in the RAMA was misrepresented by the reformed and two, ir is chukas hoakim.

    #1807393

    no nonsense
    Participant

    Yekkes DO have a Tallis over the heads. A few more things that they do….1. The Chassan goes out from the Chuppah and walks the Kallah in (Sephardim also do this) 2. The Chassan and Kallah face away from the Tzibbur 3. The Rav speaks under the Chuppah, 4. The Kallah doesn’t walk around the Chassan and 5. They have a different Nussach for the Chassan and Kallah as they arrive under the Chupah. (Not sure what it is)

    #1807639

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Reb Eliezer: you wrote “Even among ashkanazim the kittel is hidden under the coat? not always so. if the chosson dons the kittel under the chuppah he generally does not put a coat on over it.

    #1807645

    Yabia Omer
    Participant

    In BOTH communities, breaking the glass is the last time the man puts his foot down.

    #1807943

    yehudayona
    Participant

    As iacisrmma said, the coat is not universal among Ashkenazim. What’s the origin of this minhag? So the chasan can make a quick getaway if he chickens out?

    #1807992

    kollelman
    Participant

    Sephardic weddings are not always in a shul. When they are, the Choson and Kallah face the Aron, instead of turning their back to the Aron. Otherwise, as was mentioned by “i love coffe”, they face the tzibbur.

    Regarding the “Avram Siz” – I’ve never heard of that. It’s called a “Shabbat Hatan” and is the week after the wedding (unless the couple is not too frum and runs away on a “honeymoon”, then it’s the week before). After the Choson’s aliyah, they read a few P’sukim from Parshas Chaye Sarah “Ve’Avraham Za’ken”, where Avraham makes Eliezer swear to not bring back a Canaanite girl for Yitzchok. This is read by 2 separate people, one with the parsha and one with targum. After davening, they have a “sebet” (Shabbat in Arabic?), which can often be a large [second wedding] – full meal with family and sometimes many guests.

    #1808028

    devny
    Participant

    Both have the holy minhag of paying insane amounts of money for an event that lasts one night and no one will care about in a few years.

    #1808035

    Yabia Omer
    Participant

    First of all it’s veAhvraham Siv…. It’s the Targum of veAhvraham Zaken. That portion is read in Hebrew and in Targum.

    Secondly Sebet is a Syrian phenomenon. Sephardim are not a monolithic group!

    #1808066

    user176
    Participant

    The Targum of veavraham zaken is avraham siv.. i never heard the Shabbat called that but I guess that’s where it’s from.

    I was once at an Ashkenazi wedding and the hattan walked down the aisle with a candle.. very depressing

    #1808100

    Yabia Omer
    Participant

    Nowadays it’s en Vogue for the Chassan and Kallah to be so solemn during the I understand it’s an awesome day but where’s the simcha? And I wonder if it’s Yohara. Like “we wanna look so holy by being so serious in tefila with our eyes closed….”. Lighten up!

    #1808238

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    Even though it iis depressing, I understand their behavior. Tefila under the chuppa is verty helpful for shidduch and refuah.

    #1808241

    YA: YOHARA to be serious during the chupa? is it YOHARA to be serious during neilah? Yes it is a chuppa but at the same time it is a day that is compared to a personal yom kippur so there is a tendency to be serious. One of the reasons for donning the kittel is to remind the chosson that life does eventually come to an end.

    #1808242

    YY: I have heard that it date backs to Europe and with many individuals who were maimed and suffered lost limbs so coats were worn so as not to embarrass anyone who lost an arm.

    #1808243

    As to ashkenazim not facing the ahron kodesh during a chupa in a shul, I have heard in the name of Harav Yitzchok Hutner, that by the goyim the bride and groom face the altar and the galach faces the crowd. The reason? Because the galach is performing the marriage ceremony and he is marrying the couple. By us, the chosson is making the kinyan and he is performing the ceremony so we want the chosson and kallah to face the crowd even in a shul.

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