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What are the differences in minhagim? I’ve always found this topic interesting and I love hearing about all the customs! Our differences is what makes us interesting!
Ashkenaz – bourbon. Sephardim – Scotch.
Ashkenaz – vodka. Sephardim – more vodka.
Yekkes have one Tallis over head of Groom & Bride, and no Kittel, and they sing Psalm 128 before smashing the Glass..
One of the most obvious is that Ashkenazim have chuppah outside or at least under the sky (some halls have a special skylight just to be able to have a chuppah inclement weather). Sephardim have the chuppah indoors.
147 – I have been to numerous yekkishe chasunas, and yes, the Chosson has no Kittel, they do sing Psalm 128 (I suppose it is 128 although i have no idea; Shir HaMalos ashrey kol yerey Hashem) – and I have seen different minhagim whether they do it before or after they smash the glass.
What is this about one Tallis over head of Groom & Bride? Never seen that before.
Differences in the Nusach of the Ketuba/Kesuba; stems from Machloket Rishonim.
I was at the wedding of an Ashkenazified Sefardi (guy)- COMPLETELY normal Ashkenazi chuppah. It was pretty sad. (I was so excited for some epic Sefardicness!)
And would an Ashkenazified Sefardi be an Ashkefardi or a Sfashkenazi? (I love that song!)
Sephardic Weddings:
-Chuppah is by the Ahron HaKodesh
-Chattan & Kallah are not allowed to fast on the day of their wedding
-There is no “Yichud Room” (its considered a “davar mechuar”)
-There is no “bedeken”
-Kallah doesn’t circle the chattan 7 times
-Couple usually faces the guest under the chuppah and the Rabbi’s back is to the guest
-The “aufruf” is the shabbat after the wedding called an “Avram siz”
I love coffe- um, what did you just call the Shabbat chatan? NEVER heard of that before…
Ashkenazi: the women wearing sheitels normally wear a sheitel everyday
Sephardim: the women wearing sheitels normally wear a mitpachat everyday, but borrowed a sheitel from their Ashkenazi neighbor/friend for the wedding party
Every ashkenazi wedding I’ve ever been to has been indoors
Even among ashkanazim the kittel is hidden under the coat. Chupah not performed in a shul, firsr. the chuppa be under the stars wherre the Tiferes Yisroel says that the acronym in the RAMA was misrepresented by the reformed and two, ir is chukas hoakim.
Yekkes DO have a Tallis over the heads. A few more things that they do….1. The Chassan goes out from the Chuppah and walks the Kallah in (Sephardim also do this) 2. The Chassan and Kallah face away from the Tzibbur 3. The Rav speaks under the Chuppah, 4. The Kallah doesn’t walk around the Chassan and 5. They have a different Nussach for the Chassan and Kallah as they arrive under the Chupah. (Not sure what it is)
Reb Eliezer: you wrote “Even among ashkanazim the kittel is hidden under the coat? not always so. if the chosson dons the kittel under the chuppah he generally does not put a coat on over it.
In BOTH communities, breaking the glass is the last time the man puts his foot down.
As iacisrmma said, the coat is not universal among Ashkenazim. What’s the origin of this minhag? So the chasan can make a quick getaway if he chickens out?
Sephardic weddings are not always in a shul. When they are, the Choson and Kallah face the Aron, instead of turning their back to the Aron. Otherwise, as was mentioned by “i love coffe”, they face the tzibbur.
Regarding the “Avram Siz” – I’ve never heard of that. It’s called a “Shabbat Hatan” and is the week after the wedding (unless the couple is not too frum and runs away on a “honeymoon”, then it’s the week before). After the Choson’s aliyah, they read a few P’sukim from Parshas Chaye Sarah “Ve’Avraham Za’ken”, where Avraham makes Eliezer swear to not bring back a Canaanite girl for Yitzchok. This is read by 2 separate people, one with the parsha and one with targum. After davening, they have a “sebet” (Shabbat in Arabic?), which can often be a large [second wedding] – full meal with family and sometimes many guests.
Both have the holy minhag of paying insane amounts of money for an event that lasts one night and no one will care about in a few years.
First of all it’s veAhvraham Siv…. It’s the Targum of veAhvraham Zaken. That portion is read in Hebrew and in Targum.
Secondly Sebet is a Syrian phenomenon. Sephardim are not a monolithic group!
The Targum of veavraham zaken is avraham siv.. i never heard the Shabbat called that but I guess that’s where it’s from.
I was once at an Ashkenazi wedding and the hattan walked down the aisle with a candle.. very depressing
Nowadays it’s en Vogue for the Chassan and Kallah to be so solemn during the I understand it’s an awesome day but where’s the simcha? And I wonder if it’s Yohara. Like “we wanna look so holy by being so serious in tefila with our eyes closed….”. Lighten up!
Even though it iis depressing, I understand their behavior. Tefila under the chuppa is verty helpful for shidduch and refuah.
YA: YOHARA to be serious during the chupa? is it YOHARA to be serious during neilah? Yes it is a chuppa but at the same time it is a day that is compared to a personal yom kippur so there is a tendency to be serious. One of the reasons for donning the kittel is to remind the chosson that life does eventually come to an end.
YY: I have heard that it date backs to Europe and with many individuals who were maimed and suffered lost limbs so coats were worn so as not to embarrass anyone who lost an arm.
As to ashkenazim not facing the ahron kodesh during a chupa in a shul, I have heard in the name of Harav Yitzchok Hutner, that by the goyim the bride and groom face the altar and the galach faces the crowd. The reason? Because the galach is performing the marriage ceremony and he is marrying the couple. By us, the chosson is making the kinyan and he is performing the ceremony so we want the chosson and kallah to face the crowd even in a shul.
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