I was wondering if anyone knows where the source of shadchanus is. Also does anyone know what the accepted amount is to give the shadchan? Is there even an accepted amount?
Paying shadchanus is a halachic requirement.
Professional shadchanim generally have a set fee. We have not had a professional redd any of my children’s shiduchim so we talked it over with our machatunim and decided on what we thought was a fair amount and then split the cost between both sides. It was in the $1500 – $2000 range.
In Israel i hear it’s 1000 shekel each side.
iac: $1500 – $2000 combined or each?
Joseph do you know where it says this halacha?
The first shadchan was Hashem as we say in sheva brochos שמח תשמח. A husband and wife are good shadchonim. My wife and I made a good shiduch. I knew the Choson and she knew the Kallah.
Joseph: Total paid to the shadchan.
@Me- It’s mifurash in SH”A, don’t remember where. There are limudim from pesukim in Navi regarding how it gets divided up among the different parties involved.
Look at Kidushin 12,1 רב מנגיד על דמקדש בלא שידוכי and SH/A HaEven Ezer 26,4 , where they give makas mardus דמקדש בלא שידוך.
I believe the term “shadchanus” as it’s being used in this thread is referring to the money paid to a shadchan, not the act of arranging shidduchim.
That’s what I was referring to- the cash, not the gemara.
Look at the RMA Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat 185:10.
Look also at the Aruch Hashulchan there 185:11-13.
There is a wonderful book in English on the topic that covers all of your questions and more. Its called Shadchanus in Halacha by Rabbi Shlomo Dickman
Sorry no links
Come on, what’s 5000 dollars for finding a shidduch? Seriously some shadchanim straight up charge that if not more.
There is a normative amount in each community.
The Minhag in Yerushalayim – I have heard – was to give 1/3 of the shadchan gelt after the engagement, 1/3 after the Chuppah and 1/3 after the first child was born. Makes a lot of sense.
Shadchan of course stands for “Sheker Dover, Kesef Notel”
I was told by a reliable source that it’s 1500 for rebbeim and klei kodesh, 2500 for regular working baalei batim and 5000 for well to do
April 22, 2018 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm#1509708REPLY
I was told by a reliable source that it’s 1500 for rebbeim and klei kodesh,
That amount is only if the rebbe or klei kodesh is not taking any government subsities,otherwise how is he different then a plain ball habos who is poorer then a rebbe who is on subsities.
Must a shadchan return the money if the engagement broke or is it voluntary?