Sheltering kids

Are you asking how we can teach our kids not to do stuff that others allow without putting these people down?

First of all, if anything you should be worried about your kids looking down at them, but I don’t see why they would hate them.

Kids should understand that different Yidden have different standards when it comes to entertainment, dress, kashrus, interpersonal relationships, etc. It is never our place to judge. We all do our very best to make Hashem proud and listen to our Rav when it comes to setting our own standards.

(As an aside, the TV example is rather complicated since it’s almost impossible to have kids constantly hang out with friends who watch TV and expect them to withstand the temptation….)

When my kids were little we lived in BP. We started out in a chasidish school because the pre-school was top notch. I didn’t take them out because the pre-1A rebbe was great and then the first grade Rebbe, an so on. We had a TV and the most I would allow my kids to watch was Sesame Street, The Big Blue Marble and Mr. Rogers. My boys came home talking about Ninja Turtles, and pretending they had nunchucks. I asked where they learned that from and they told me the other boys in yeshiva. I was quite shocked because I tried to keep them away from that.

I told them that those characters did not emulate god middos, they were always fighting and I didn’t want my boys to fight and so on. The yeshiva didn’t really care at the time because they told me boys fight. B”H your boys are normal, they fight.

I’m not sure what the circumstances are that led you to that neighborhood/city. But have you thought about relocating? (at least once your child gets a little older)

The sword (gun) is the tool of Eisev.

actually shlishi theres a ton of aggadah on what the sword and bow mean and represaent and how klal yisroel use both. its generaly a metaphor for tefilla.

I think there is a time and place for everything but if you tell them that We dont…watch TV or we dont do… (things that are not assur but just below the standard you set for yourself) then you are sending them a message of confidence too. not that we are holier than though but that we dont do this. theres a certain pride they can get from that.

R.K- That actually may be easier than you think. Usually someone who, say, watches TV, is better at a different middah, say, chesed. So all you have to say is that you try hard in this area and they have other areas that they’re improving in. That way it isn’t a matter of better or worse, just different.

There are many, many goyim who would never take a TV into their homes either. Do you know what they call it? An “idiot box”. When my kids finished pre-school I eased them off the tv which they weren’t watching much anyway. I bought them books, tapes, skates and bikes. I did NOT want them sitting in front of a TV or ever watching unsupervised. I told them the TV was my toy, and Mommy bought all these toys for you. They were very busy with their jewish tapes and books and the learned to read very early. They were also very active and athletic.

So you can start when they are young and say, TV is a waste of time and energy. It is much healthier to be outdoors and be active. It is much smarter to choose a book to read than stick your nose into an “dummy box”. You should learn to think for yourself and not let what a “dummy box” tells you influence you, because all they want to do is convince you to buy whatever they are trying to sell.

Try not to get into the religious issues so they don’t have THAT discussion. If they are taught that “WE choose NOT to do that”, which is absolutely true, then that is a choice. They choose to do that, and that is their choice. Who knows, maybe your kids will influence them by shlepping them outside and talking about the books they read and so on. Maybe they will see the foolishness in all the programs they think are so important.