May 15, 2012 12:13 am at 12:13 am #874295writersoulParticipant
AZ: Maybe, but if you think that that’s all it is, then you’re just fooling yourself.May 15, 2012 3:24 am at 3:24 am #874296Out of Town YeshivishMember
YW Moderator 42Y- I know about those sites, however for some reason they are for older guys & divorcees. Why cant there just be one for everyone(not only divorcees, people with disabilities etc)
I agree that if the the Rabbanim would choose one site it would be great.What i don’t agree with is that you’ll get random girls redt to you. Who would sit there and pick out girl #78 to boy #34? no one, but if everyone has access then your cousin’s cousin could match you up with their next door neighbor! chances are -your cousin’s cousin knows your & his neighbor better than some “shadchan” does. He may have just forgotten about you.May 15, 2012 3:28 am at 3:28 am #874297Out of Town YeshivishMember
Writersoul – If Its its by invitation, who gets invited?? Shadchanim? They have more names than they can handle… i think we need more shadchanim.May 15, 2012 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #874298AZParticipant
Is that all it is, nope.
Is age gap the biggest baddest part of the problem AND – by far – the MOST solvable,
you betchaMay 16, 2012 12:56 am at 12:56 am #874299writersoulParticipant
OOTY: Yes, shadchanim will be (and could be right now, I have no idea) invited.
Unfortunately, that’s about all I know about it, not being overly nosy. (YEAH RIGHT. Me not nosy. Ha ha ha. I actually just want to keep on my mom’s good side by not sticking my nose in her confidential business.)
I think the point is that shadchanim will now have a wider pool of people to suggest.May 16, 2012 1:11 am at 1:11 am #874300pcozMember
excuse me for waffling (I like waffles) – I think the problem is that life is too good before you are married and therefore there is insufficient incentive to pass the hurdles that start with marriageMay 16, 2012 4:09 am at 4:09 am #874301oomisParticipant
“Oomis, that’s the MO way, and look at the results. The path to a kosher solution is to do more research, more caution, more involvement of rabonim, shadchanim, mesadrei kiddushin, etc. No shidduch should be redt until the boy’s learning and conduct are known for sure, until the girl’s family is checked out beyond doubt (including how they go about kvod Shabbos), and until the prospective FIL proves to a beis din that he can provide support (in EY, a dira). If this sounds “fanatic,” we already behave this way when we shop for a washing machine… “
What results – people actually dating, getting to know each other, and getting married? Are you implying that girls who come from families that do not have kovod Shabbos, do not deserve to marry those wonderful boys whose learning and middos are known “for sure?” And what if there will be NO financial support, because the parents are tapped out and want their sons in law to earn a living as their OWN fathers did? Sorry, but your washing machine comment was not a proper analogy, either, IMO. What we are doing now is NOT working. Too many wonderful boys and girls are not meeting each other specifically because of the foolish and unnecessary criteria that you mentioned. Dayeinu.
(Thanks, Middle Path)May 16, 2012 4:53 am at 4:53 am #874302groisnachesMember
Whoever thinks that there is no relation between the issue of difficulties in finding Shidduchim and the accompanying stress to families and singles, and the issue of kids going OTD should think again.
The poor and less connected are aching.May 16, 2012 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #874303apushatayidParticipant
“No shidduch should be redt until the boy’s learning and conduct are known for sure, until the girl’s family is checked out beyond doubt (including how they go about kvod Shabbos), and until the prospective FIL proves to a beis din that he can provide support (in EY, a dira). If this sounds “fanatic,” we already behave this way when we shop for a washing machine… “
This ranks as one of the all time great Troll comments.May 16, 2012 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #874304OneOfManyParticipant
lol we should make a thread for that.
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