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would it be irrealistic for a 23 year old, sephardi, out of towner, law student from a divorced family with a modest income and modox background expect to find a good shidduch in in-town places? not looking for controversy, just the simple truth to not waste time.
Lav davka. First off you a Male or female? Male will be much easier.
40 days prior to formation of the vlad a bas kol goes out and says plony to bas plony. Everthing else is irrelevant, it is already determined. now close out the thread
Have you ready the recent article about the Arab who was able to find a shiduch in NYC? Joking aside, there is someone for everyone.
Beisyosef, Varvoos?
If you’re fully sefardi you’ll have an easier time than if you’re half sefardi (especially if that half is your mother’s side). There are a ton of sefardi shadchonim in NYC; they also want professionals for the most part, and sefardim don’t place too much emphasis on religious background… Moreso on sefardi yichus. Divorce I don’t think will be a major hindrance either.
What difference does it make if he is Sephardi? The fact of the matter is that the NYC area has the largest Orthodox singles pool outside of Israel. Of course, with shidduch sites, if you are mobile you do not have to limit yourself geographically. I just saw a film called “Orthodoxed” about a BT Chabadnik from Canada who married a woman who was living in Panama.
Avira, why is half Sefardi, via the maternal side, a hindrance?
CS, no that’s not true go back and learn that gemara
why beat a dead horse or a live zivik, it is alreafy determined
Dear Yid,
Of course there is a good in town shidduch for you! But if you want a specific kind of good, than you’ll have to be lucky or look harder for it.
Dear Common,
They tell me I need to get beaten up a bit before I get married…..
Ujm, it’s much harder if you’re nisht a hin nisht a hehr; sefardim often want only sefardi and ashkenaz (especially Yeshiva) are wary of sefardi backgrounds being less frum. That together with being a BT background makes it harder to get ashkenazi families, so if someone has a BT background and is half sefardi, and a woman…sefardim may be turned off by the yichus and ashkenazim will be turned off by the sefardi and lack of strong background.
Of course these are all generalities; people with much, and i mean much, more baggage/things that are deemed chisronos (i.e., emotional problems, abuse, past history of OTD, gerim, and much more…most of these things aren’t chisronos at all but are viewed such) get married all the time.
why all this going around and around, that was already done 40 say before the vlad
Unless you are a 3L, would you commute until graduation? Obviously, there is a larger pool of both traditional and MO bochurim in a large metro area than some OOT location but these days, lots of connections are being made virtually.
Honestly, I would think in this scenario it would be easier for a girl. Either way, New York is the best place to find a shidduch no matter who you are. Although many New Yorkers have found their zivug elsewhere
I am not one to give advice on these matters, but I wouldnt worry about statistics to determine your future.
And you don’t just want to be married but STAY married.
Avira, where did she say “BT” background, she said “MO” background. “You have a right to your opinions, but not to your own facts”. Especially, Sephardim (as you are saying) do not have same prejudices as you do.
Serious question – what should be the shidduch. Historically, it used to be complimentary – chacham with ashir. Nowadays, the concept seems to be “same background” – “men and women are different enough”, probably due to divergence of communities. So, should a lawyer marry a lawyer – and then see each other and kids on Shabbat?
Cs, no it isn’t. You are making it up or don’t know how to learn a basic gemara
23 year old male law student? Depends what particular demographic you’re targeting, but should be a desirable catch with plenty of options. I would be very surprised if he doesn’t have lots of great girls to date.
“23 year old male law student….I would be very surprised if he doesn’t have lots of great girls to date..”
Yaylin Yashan. The OP is a SHE. Not sure why you want to challenge her gender identity. SHE doesn’t want to date “lots of great girls”.
AAQ, my mistake; I actually remembered the OP wrong and thought she said BT; wasn’t trying to shoehorn my shitos… At least not this time
Ujm, what difference does it make which side is Sefardi?
Avira, why are those so-called “yeshivish” people bigoted?
Dorah, law students frequently have summer internships in cities where they neither study nor live.
Avi….totally correct but all the big firms hire SAs nearly at least 6-8 months in advance…If she doesn’t have an offer as a 1L or 2L for 2022, generally too late now but she might have contacts with one of the smaller firms. Being an SA doesn’t leave too much time for dating since you are expected to participate in many AH firm activities, although perhaps less so with COVID.
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