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would a full time learning bachur ever go out with a medical student?
No.
Yes.
Maybe.
I did, more than once.
Better question is would why would a full-time medical student want to date someone who has no interest in a profession or earning a parnassah for his family.
“Ever”?
ObviouslyI know a few that even got married
Is it common? Probably not
Gadol, maybe because she wants to achieve the greatest spiritual heights attainable for a woman in her capacity as enabling her husband and children to learn?
Your post 12/21.
“would it be irrealistic for a 23 year old, sephardi, out of towner, law student from a divorced family with a modest income and modox background expect to find a good shidduch in in-town places? not looking for controversy, just the simple truth to not waste time.”
Your post today:
“would a full time learning bachur ever go out with a medical student?”That pretty much sizes things up.
Gedolahhadorah let women talk for themselves, I know many professional women who are Doctors, lawers, accountants who only want to date full time learning men.
The gemara says with what do women get revival of the dead?
With sending their husbands and kids to learn.
And to answer the question, I’m sure their are some, you only need to marry one person.
So ask a shadchan or family and friends to look for the type of person you want.She changed from a law student to medical student in a few months. this sounds like a troll account.
Welcome to בין הזמנים
CHAS VSHALOM! A FULL TIME LEARNING BOCHUR GOING OUT WITH A GIRL WHO ATTENDED COLLEGE WOULD BE A BUSHA TO HIS ENTIRE FAMILY.
משוגעפערד : עס וועט זיין לפּחות 5 יאָר איידער אַ מעדיציניש תּלמיד וועט זיין ערנינג גענוג צו שטיצן אַ משפּחה
@mechachem, welcome to the bain hazmain troll club, now go help your mother clean for peasch.
This is an issue not just for Jewish community. In US in general, women now outnumber men in college and do not want to have shiduchim with men without a degree. A shidduch crisis indeed. I would say the medical student should be able to find herself a real qualified learner and it will be a good match. She can verify it by asking a couple of questions related to shechita and Gemora’s medical remedies.
I think an educated college graduate can successfully marry a full time learning boy as long as she TRULY respects him and wants that, otherwise it’s a recipe for disaster. Especially, considering that she will be working with educated men all the time.
My husband is a full time learner. He learns 14 hours a day while I’m studying accounting. This is what I want and respect. I wouldn’t want a husband that’s a Dr or lawyer. So it works. I work under the CFO at work and I’m glad that my husband is using his brains for Torah and not thinking about business and money all day.Amom, ashreich vetov lach. The sad reality is that many professional women find it difficult to both value their own career choices, and their husband’s dedication to learning. We also live in a society that suggests to young women that it’s more mentchlich to work…not just work, but to be wealthy and materialistic. Women who have simpler jobs have an easier time not feelijg superior to their husbands. It also depends on the type of work environment and friends one decides to have. If a woman hears all day about their friends’ husbands who take them on vacation, close major deals, or support entire yeshivos, it can lead to an unfair comparison.
Avira, well said.
“We also live in a society that suggests to young women that it’s more mentchlich to work…not just work, but to be wealthy and materialistic.”
I think you’ve been reading too many magazines.
“I think you’ve been reading too many magazines.”
Probably AMI and Mishpacha.
@amom, in spite of the trollish nature of the OP, let me ask you the reverse, would you be happy if your husband was a CFO and you being a babysitter or a teachers aide?
This is a serious conversation…the shidduch crisis is no joke
@yid0123 the real question is why you’re on YWN when you could be learning.
@menachem and you join because?????????????????. unless you are the same as yid0123.
Its Bein Hazamanim troll time@commonsaychel im only on here during bein hazmanim while your on here all year round
you just signed up so you either use a different name or you saying a lie
Gadolhadorah I don’t pretend to be a gadol like you, But from what could figure out, I didn’t get the peyton manning reference.
Common- Happiness is a state of mind. I could choose to be happy that way but I’m happier this way.
Avira- that’s because they want a husband that goes on vacations, donates huge sums etc., they don’t really want a learning husband and the life that brings. Because, one can’t compare and be jealous of something they don’t want.
Why wouldn’t she be willing? Cause he’s too Frum for her?
Menachem: there is no Shidduch crises Hashem already has every persons zivug setup for them 40 days before they are even born forget about the fact that now in the age of dating they are already 20 years later. So the question YOU Mr Dating boy Or MRS. SEMINARY GIRL need to ask yourselves is if you’re doing your RUCHNIUS hishtadlus of tefillos (davening to Hashem) and Bitachon and Emunah (faith and trust in Hashem)
Make a daily learning Seder in sefer Chovos Halevovos (duties of the Heart) and start working on your faith with Hashem and nay Hashem answer all your prayers
yungermans: that doesnt change the fact that there are people out there that dont wanna do their hishtadlus
I know a family where the father was a “full time bachur” and the mother was getting her MD when they got married. He learns in kollel and she supports the family financially.
Crazy Horse: Your command of Yiddish is obviously superior to mine. Peyton obviously trumped his brother Eli in all relevant categories.
P.S. my comment was that for any young woman in medical school, it would be at least 5 years before she could support a family where her husband was a FT learner with no income. Hopefully, there are some wealth in-laws on either side.“He learns in kollel and she supports the family financially.”
Who takes care of the kids?
“where her husband was a FT learner with no income”
Why are you assuming full time learners have no income?
GH -This probably is a response to a recent comment in a different thread but my organizational skills are limited.
I hear the disgust/disapproval in your ongoing presentation of full time learning, especially as it connects in your mind to wealthy in laws being bilked. The choice of words serves as propaganda to others as well, creating or enforcing the hate.
What you may not know is that in so many situations the full time learning is a source of tremendous pride, serenity, protection, foundation and affection. It often breeds appreciation between the wife to the husband who exerts and the husband to the wife who exerts. The “bilked” in laws are often not only not wealthy but living financially difficult lives who will thank Gd regularly for having the privilege of supporting someone to whatever extent they can in order for them to learn and bring wealth of a different type to the world.If I had attended the latest simcha event of yours, I could probably describe it in a way that would make it sound tasteless, unappealing, over or under done – or paint it as the most enjoyable, tasteful evening ever. Same event, different glasses. (I in no way think it would have been negative, but that doesn’t mean I can’t spin it that way)
@Marxist the Nanny
@Ysirbus123, I know of a ft learning bucher who left kollel and became a MD and is very successful much to busha of his wife’s family who wanted someone who would be in kollel forever and everA lot of people writing in obviously don’t know anyone in kollel.
Syag: You read too much into my post. My simple point was that a medical student is barely earning enough to pay his/her own tuition and living costs and even as a resident does not really earn much. Thus, absent some subsidies from the in-laws or government stipends someone has to pay the bills, no matter how frugal they might be.
Read too much into your posts??!
Why, I can hardly get enough of them. I wait idly for your words of wisdom and no depth is too deep.😉
Sorry, in bed with fever. Brain is fuzzy.Menachem
If they don’t do their Hishtadlus then there’s no one to blame but themselves for still being single and not finding their shidduch yet. Hashem has their zivug waiting for them and is just waiting for their call out to Hashem from their Hearts with heartfelt tefillos for help
Syag: A refuah shelemah b’maharh baymenu etc. Hope you found a medical student (now world-famous doctor) as your beschert, so you are in full posession of your faculties as you savor the wisdom of my posts.
I am indeed very fortunate. My husband’s years as Mr Mom honed his medical skills so well that he was able to get me to take ibuprofen which I am told works wonders on a fever.
Marxist and Common- how about both as a couple.
The kollel schedule usually works well for husbands to do drop off and pick up for babysitting.
These days many offices are very flexible with hours.
I work a few hours a day, and put in another hour or two at night.
It’s easier than if both parents are working, which is so common these days.
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