For the past few months, I have received numerous phone calls about shidduch references for my friends whom I have not seen or spoken to ever since Coronavirus hemorrhaged all of our social lives. Rather than understanding the circumstances, these girls or their mothers who contact me
decide that the prospect is not shayich simply because I don’t have 100% up-to-date information on the bochur.
Is learning about his midos tovos truly NOT enough information just to say yes for a First Date?? Not even a Zoom date?
Meanwhile, I continue to see shidduch resumes of singles where their most up-to-date resumes feature references which include the phone numbers of rabbonim who were niftarim during the height of the pandemic between Nissan and Sivan 5780.
Perhaps it is הגיע זמן to do away or restructure the manner in which shidduch references are checked?
If you want to get to know your spouse, why must you engage in useless Jerry Nadler-style investigations rather than simply getting to know the other party in a natural way?
For every shidduch suggestion you reject, do you realize how much time you wasted by playing phone hop with the other party’s references who have their own busy lives??